About Neil Chethik
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Neil Chethik is an author, speaker and expert specializing in men's lives and family issues. He is the author of two acclaimed books: VoiceMale: What Husbands Really Think About Their Marriages, Their Wives, Sex, Housework and Commitment (Simon & Schuster 2006), and FatherLoss: How Sons of All Ages Come To Terms With the Deaths of Their Dads (Hyperion 2001). Previously, Neil was a staff reporter for the Tallahassee Democrat and San Jose Mercury News, and writer of ?VoiceMale,? the first syndicated column on men's personal lives. His writings have appeared in hundreds of print and web publications. He is currently Writer-in-Residence at the Carnegie Center for Literacy and Learning in Lexington, Ky., where he lives with his wife, Kelly Flood, and son, Evan. Reach Neil at: Neil [at] NeilChethik.com PO Box 8071 Lexington Ky. 40533 859-361-1659 Neil appeared on the radio show “Healing the Grieving Heart” with Dr. Gloria & Dr. Heidi Horsley to discuss “Men and Loss.” To hear Neil being interviewed on this show, click on the following link: www.voiceamericapd.com/health/010157/horsley121307.mp3
Neil Chethik's Articles
Open to Hope Editor’s TV Special Airs June 20
Dear Open to Hope Friends:
I wanted to let you know that my first book, FATHERLOSS, has been turned into a PBS special!
The half-hour program will premiere this Saturday, June 20, at 8 p.m. in Kentucky …
Father’s Day After Your Father Has Died
By Neil Chethik –
Father’s Day is just ahead, and for more than 100 million Americans whose fathers have died, it will be a day of missing Dad. What can these fatherless Americans do to make …
How Can Daughter Help Dad After Painful Loss?
Melissa writes in: My brother, Michael, died yesterday of a heroin overdose. He was 40 years old. The grief I feel is a fraction of what my parents are experiencing. I was detatched from my …
FatherLoss to be Made into PBS Special
FatherLoss, a book by Open to Hope Executive Editor Neil Chethik, is being made into a PBS Special for national distribution this Father’s Day.
Neil will be the featured expert in the documentary about how …
11-Year-Old Son Lashes Out After Death of Dad
Question from Margaret: My husband of 16 years passed away a little over 6 months ago. He was not ill, so it was shock to me and our two sons, ages 10 and 11. My …
Loss of First Grandparent a Major Blow
Katherine writes: I lost my grandfather last month, and this was my first loss of a close loved one.?I am 28 years old. I can’t seem to stop thinking about my grandfather. Granted, it has …
‘Glimpse of God’ as Fallen Soldier Returns Home
I was leaving Baltimore last Saturday after a long week of training and thanking my lucky stars that the bad weather predicted was holding off long enough to get me away from the east coast. …
Bereaved mother: ‘Why Can’t I Cry?’
Sherry writes in: I’m not sure what to say, but feel compelled to write something. My 38-year-old daughter, Colleen, died May 20, 2008. I spoke to her that morning. She was feeling better than she had for?two weeks. I was in another state with my younger daughter. She and her husband were to adopt a child and I was helping with the their two small boys. Less than three hours later, my husband called and said Colleen is gone. She died of an asthma attack. She had asthma all of her life and felt she could handle any situation. Her children were just coming home from school. The paramedics did not reach her in time. We had a service and lots of loving people said kind and wonderful words to us. I smiled, thanked them, never shed a tear, and in my mind?and heart did NOT believe, and still don’t believe, she’s gone. We are blessed to have gardianship of our two grandchildren, ages 7 and 9;?they make us happy. Why can’t I cry??? I start to and then I won’t let my self. Four months before Colleen died, my mother died, and I didn’t cry.?I am so hollow inside. We went through Hurricane Katrina, lost our home and business. Used all of our savings to rebuild our home; I didn’t cry. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME!!! I am numb. It’s like I can’t focus on any one thing; my mind just jumps around. The only thing that keeps me going is the children. I am falling apart inside, but outside I look fine. MY DAUGHTER CAN’T BE GONE, IT CAN’T BE. I see her standing in the hall looking in at the children in their bedrooms. Am I carzy??? Please someone give me something to help. I can’t not have my daughter in my life.
Surviving Holidays With the In-Laws
By Dr. Gloria Horsley –?
Always, Always, Always
A Poem By Shelli Stuart –
For Haylee, Mommy, & MeMaw
Always happy, heartfelt smiles
Graced her dear sweet face
Always sweetness filled the air
When she was in the place
Always always she would laugh
And grin those precious grins
Always when …
How Do I Know If I Need Counseling?
Melissa asks this question: Two years ago, I lost a best friend unexpectedly, and?I had to bear the news to her two young kids with no one there to?help. After that, I ended a 12-year relationship and lost my?grandfather. I took all of this in stride. Do you think this is?healthy without having sought any counseling? I made changes and?moved back home to start over.?
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Dr. Robert Neimeyer, author of Lessons of Loss: A Guide to Coping, responds: Dear Melissa: As you recognize, there are times when talking to a counselor about our reactions to loss makes plenty of sense–especially when these are intensely anguishing, seemingly unending after many months or years, and having a visible impact on our health, sense of self, or the quality of our relationships with those closest to us. Under such conditions, there’s ample evidence that grief counseling can be immensely useful in helping us make sense of the loss and the lives we have now, and in allowing us to open to the hope that the future can again bring meaning and fulfillment.
Understanding Sibling Survivor Guilt
By Bob Baugher –
When a sibling dies, the surviving brothers and sisters often feel enormous guilt. Here are five common types of guilt with a brief description of each.
1. Death-Causation Guilt –?In this type of …
Survivors of Suicide Day is Nov. 22
National Survivors of Suicide Day was created by U.S. Senate resolution, through the efforts of Sen. Harry Reid of Nevada, who lost his father to suicide. Every year, AFSP sponsors an event to provide an …
The Promise
The Promise
By Genesse Bourdeau Gentry — ?
Your birth brought me star shine, the moon and the sun;
my wishes, dreams, gathered ?round my little one.
My life became sacred, full of promise and light
wrapped up in the …
Prescription Drug Addiction Leads to Brother’s Death
By Rod Colvin –?
I wrapped my birthday gift and left it on the kitchen table. As I headed to work, I pondered where to take my brother Randy for his birthda. The upcoming evening was …
Obama Right to Interrupt Campaign
By Neil Chethik –
President-elect Barack Obama’s decision to leave the campaign trail to visit his dying grandmother may have been difficult in the short run: it came?less than two weeks before election day. But the …
Create Space in Your Life to Find Hope
A Memory Game for Grieving Children
Remembering Alexandria: A Personal Story of Perinatal Loss
Woman Loses Organs to Cancer, Still Revels in Life
Caregivers Need Time to Let Go
August 26, 2010: Guest Charles Corr: Helping Children Cope with Death and Grief
