How to Handle A Wife’s Suicide
Submitted by Abel Keogh on September 8, 2008 – 7:19 amAbel is the author of the novel The Third and the memoir Room for Two. For nearly a decade he has worked as a professional copywriter and composed hundreds of print and online pieces of marketing coll... more
One CommentLarry from Virginia asks: I am angry at my wife and angry at God.? My wife shot herself after receiving the news that she had been fired for a drinking problem.?How do I deal with the fact that my pastor says, “God does not give more than?we can endure?” Some days I feel like jumping off a bridge but I have two boys to raise.? Any advice?
Abel Keogh, author of the memoir, Room for Two (Cedar Fort, 2007), responds: I’m so sorry to hear about your wife’s suicide. My heart and prayers go out to you and your two boys. There’s nothing wrong with being angry at your wife for her actions. It’s a normal part of the grieving process. Her actions have left behind a wake of sadness and unanswered questions. You have every right to be angry.
What you’re going through isn’t easy to endure, but it is possible. You deal with the grief, anger, and frustration hour by hour, one day at a time. The hurt isn’t going to magically go away overnight. But it will subside so long as you keep living your life and raising your sons. That means getting out of bed every morning, going about your life, and be the best dad you can be. And when the anger reaches a breaking point, you find a healthy way to let it out.
What I learned from my late wife’s suicide is that despite the tragedies and setbacks we experience, if we play our hand right, we can arise from the ashes a better and stronger person. You have a wonderful opportunity to be an example of strength and optimism to your two boys, family, and loved ones. Don’t let the anger and bitterness consume your life. Take things one day at a time and cherish every moment with the sons that are looking to you for guidance during this tragic time.
See more about Abel Keogh at www.AbelKeogh.com.
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It has been five months since my wife’s suicide. Although I am seeing a Psychologist regularly ,things continue to get worse , not better. My anger has gotten me into trouble at work in the last week. I don’t consciously associate the anger with her death at the time of my rage, but I know where it must be coming from. When I cross the bridge where she died, I think I am handling it well, but shortly after I’m angry with everything around me. It seems disconnected somehow. My son turned 11 recently. He is all I have to keep me going. I miss her so much. I hate being a single parent. I hate being alone.