Being a single dad is tough. Even though it is the 21^st century and there’s a diversity of family configurations, being a single dad is tough. It can be rewarding and gratifying too. But it’s nonetheless tough.

It is tough because one person is on for the all of the responsibilities. There are schedules to organize and adapt to. There are too many days when you are simply too tired to do one more thing. Maybe you don’t feel equipped to handle the challenges, much less calendars. Perhaps you are not convinced your instinct or decision is the correct one.

Complicating this is the fact that, in most instances, society has painted your role as a single dad with a negative color — even if you are in this position because of the death of a spouse. If that is not enough, there are very few resources available to hone your skills at being a successful single dad.

What does being a successful single dad require?

Sincerity

Be yourself. Share with your kids the person you are …strengths and weaknesses. You can communicate who you are without comprising your role as the paternal guide through your child’s life. Let your kids know your values, your beliefs, and even your shortcomings. This sets the tone for building a deep, honesty parent-child foundation that will endure through life.

Ingenuity

Be resourceful. You will need to be cleverly inventive …from preparing a spontaneous dinner to tending to a sick child. Keeping your sense of humor is essential. In the middle of these times, be patient and forgiving. When presented with taxing times, keep in mind that this event will be tomorrow’s memory.

Natural

Being a single parent is an acquired skill that takes practice…usually eighteen years worth of practice. About the time you think you have conquered it, your child jumps into another developmental stage that requires you learn again.

Gratitude

There is no better gift than being a parent. Each child you parent is your legacy to the future. The richest reward for your effort is the phrase, “I love you, Dad.” Maybe being a single dad is not what you envisioned but it is your reality. Accept it and embrace it!

Love

Unconditionally. Your child loves you and craves knowing you love them. Not once but every time you talk with them, end the conversation or the day by telling them you love them. Showing love to a child is really quite easy – attend their activities, scouts, school, or sports,  if only for a portion of the activity.

It means the world to your child to know you care enough to be there to watch and encourage them in any pursuit they are interested in. If you don’t live with your child call them daily if possible or as regularly as you can. Keep in mind that “no” is a love word. Your child wants you to be a parent, not a Disneyland dad, which admittedly can be tempting. He/she needs to have guidelines, discipline, and consequences. You are their parent to guide, nurture and encourage them into becoming the best person they were created to be!

Effort

There a few bonds stronger than a dad and his child. Because of the complexity of being a single dad, your relationship can often be highly charged. Listen to your child for what they say and for what they don’t say. Always, always keep in the forefront of your mind and heart that you are the adult and must go the extra mile for the child. When you struggle with issues, seek out another adult you respect for assurance and guidance.

Remember you will never be a perfect parent, the only requirement is to be a loving parent. That is what successful parenting is about… never giving up – just giving.

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