Grief and Female Suicide Bombers — the Connection
Submitted by Norman Fried on July 17, 2008 6:33 amNorman J. Fried, Ph.D., is director of psycho-social services for the Division of Pediatric Hematology/Oncology at Winthrop University on Long Island, New York. A clinical psychologist with graduate ... more
No CommentBy Norman Fried
The growing wave of female suicide attacks in Iraq introduces a newer, more insidious threat to our American soldiers overseas. It also highlights the need for greater understanding of the psychology of spousal-loss, sibling-loss and child-loss.
According to the United States military, 43 women have carried out suicide bombings in Iraq since 2003, 20 in this calendar year alone. The most recent of these attacks was carried out by a woman named Wensa Ali Mutlaq, who lost her husband one year ago to fighting in his province?s capital and lost her brother several months later after he detonated a suicide bomb.
Military analysts, journalists, and Iraqi provincial council members have all offered their explanations for the developing trend in female suicides bombings. Some suggest that for many young Iraqi women, sexual abuse by older al-Qaeda leaders, carried out under the veil of marriage, is to blame. Others attribute the trend to insurgent recruiters and religious instructors who offer promises of eternal paradise. In one case, a suicide attack was forcefully conducted through the use of remote control detonation.
Understanding the growing trend of female suicide attacks in Iraq generates new light on the actions of suicide in general; and it asks us to consider the damaging effect that suicide has on its survivors, especially wives and mothers. Studies of spousal grief reveal that bereavement following suicide is qualitatively different from other causes of death. In particular, wives of a suicide are more likely to experience a prolonged search for motives; they may often deny the cause of death; their grief may culminate in feelings of anger more than sadness; and they may become more susceptible to suicide through family credo.
In their book Spousal Bereavement in Late Life, Carr, Nesse and Wortman report additional reactions to suicide, including depressive symptoms, loss of appetite, sleep disturbances, fatigue, and a wish to be reunited with the deceased. Spousal grief engenders not just personal reactions, but practical consequences as well. Research reveals that the expected female-type tasks of cooking, cleaning and laundry are now compounded with more male-type tasks such as household repairs and financial concerns. Thus, in a Muslim culture where women’s roles are clearly split across gender lines, and where suicide is considered an act of heroism, even greater complications to the grief response arise.
Given such findings, it becomes prudent that well-planned and immediate attention are paid to the survivors of a suicide within a community. The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services reports that providing social support for victims of stressful life events reduces the likelihood of depressive symptoms. In addition, tangible forms of support, such as helping widows and mourning mothers to develop social networking skills, and maintaining spiritual connections, can also be beneficial. Postvention programs, staffed by professionals who are trained in crisis intervention, have been utilized effectively in our American schools since 1991.
These programs have been successful in reducing the likelihood of cluster suicides in the school system, and copycat actions across the nation. Their successes indicate that similar proactive outreach to the survivors of suicide in Iraq can be vital to the safety of our soldiers, as well as a necessary humanitarian effort to our fellow man.
Norman J. Fried, Ph.D., is director of psycho-social services for the Division of Pediatric Hematology/Oncology at Winthrop University on Long Island, New York. Dr. Fried is a Disaster Mental Health Specialist for The American Red Cross of Greater New York, and he has a private practice in grief and bereavement counseling on Long Island. He is married with three sons and lives in Roslyn, New York. His website is www.normanfried.com.
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