Please Note: The two comments below?were sent to comfort Debbie who lost her son. They come from two women who are also grieving the loss of? their children. We want to acknowledge the deep compassion of our readers for one another and thank them for the comfort they bring.

Debbie,
I wish that I could say I don?t understand but I do as less than 2 months ago my precious 21 year old daughter was killed in an automobile accident. She was in Pharmacy school and was one of the brightest and most motivated people that I have ever met. Myself and eveyone in her entire family is devastated. I wonder each day if I will be able to get through the next one but the days have now turned into weeks so I guess I am making it. I too hide behind a smile because many do not understand the daily tears but they come for me just as surely has the sun sets or the moon rises. I wish you the same peace that I wish for myself. We are bonded together by the death of children. You are not alone. Please try to remember the good times that you shared with your son and know that he would want you to be happy. I know that my daughter would be so sad to see me suffering and unhappy. I do know that it is easier said than done. Thinking and praying for you.
Debbie

DEBBIE,
AM SO SORRY FOR ALL THAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH. i TOO HAVE LOST MY 18 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER IN AN AUTO ACCIDENT 12 DAYS BEFORE HER 19TH BIRTHDAY.IT WILL BE 1 YEAR ONE DEC.13,2007.I DONT KNOW HOW TO KEEP IT TOGETHER AT TIMES.IT SEEMS LIKE JUST YESTERDAY WE WERE ON THE PHONR AND NOW SHE IS GONE.IF ONLY I COULD TURN BACK TIME. I MISS HER AND JUST WANT TO TELL HER ONE MORE TIME HOW MUCH SHE WAS/IS LOVED. HOW DO CONTINUE TO GO ON? I KNOW THAT I HAVE TO BUT I FEEL LIKE I AM JUST GOING THROUGH THE MOTIONS. I HOLD HER BRUSH AND SMELL HER CLOTHES I DONT EVER WANT TO FORGET WHAT SHE SMELLED LIKE. I PRAY FOR STRENGTH EVERY DAY AND I KNOW THAT GOD CARRIES US BUT WE ARE NOT SUPPOSE TO BURY OUR CHILDREN. THANK YOU FOR LISTENING/READING THIS.
ANGELA

A Response from Drs. Gloria and Heidi,

Dear Debbie and Angela,

Both of you carry grief that is very fresh and very deep and you still are able to reach through your own pain to comfort another mother who has lost a child. One of the greatest gifts you can give to each other is this kind of compassion and in the giving you, will accelerate your own healing. To quote St. Francis of Assisi, ?It is in comforting that you are comforted.??

We encourage each of you to become involved in the Compassionate Friends if you have not already done so. Their membership is composed of those who have lost children of any age and they understand what you are experiencing. With them you don?t have to carry the load of grief alone ? no one should have to do that.? You can find them at http://www.compassionatefriends.org.

And we invite each of you to listen on Thursday mornings to the radio show Healing the Grieving Heart? You can find information about it and a link to it on the first page of http://www.thegriefblog.com? You might also find a number of past shows that can give you help and comfort at http://thegriefblog.com/grief-grieving-death-of-a-child/

Our blessings to each of you,
Drs. Gloria and Heidi Horsley

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