What Should I do?
Submitted by Heidi Horsley on July 16, 2008 – 11:26 amDr. Heidi Horsley is the Executive Director and Co-Founder of the Open to Hope Foundation.? She is an internationally known... more
One CommentMary, Provo, Utah writes
My son Danny died a year ago of an infection at age three. I am now wondering what to do with all his toys. It is too painful for me to keep them in a room as a memorial for him, yet I know how much he loved them. What should I do?
Drs. Gloria and Heidi Horsley respond:
We are so very sorry to hear about the death of your little boy. As a bereaved mother and sibling we want you to know that we understand how difficult it is to part with our loved ones possessions. After Scott died, we left his football game under his bed for a very long time because we couldn?t bear to get rid of it. It sounds like you are thinking that you might want to start giving a few things away. We would suggest that you think of children or places that would enjoy the toys. You may want to give some away to Danny?s friends or relatives. Another suggestion is that you give his toys to a hospital, family shelter or a nursery school. I?m sure those children would cherish the toys and would find joy in them, just as Danny did. Don?t feel that you have to give them all away at once. You might also want to keep a couple of Danny?s favorite toys that make you smile in his remembrance.
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I am so sorry your son died and you are wondering about his toys. Maybe you can consider taking them to a church nursery, or a children’s hospital. My husband use to play the guitar and I’ve had his guitar in the basement for 14 years, not know what to do with it, but three Sundays ago they asked for a donation, if anyone had a guitar, for a parish in Dominican Republic, and I thought how nice to know his guitar is now making music in church. So I went home, dusted it off and gave it to the church. That made me feel pretty good, because I could never sell it and it wasn’t being used, but now it has gone to a good cause.