A Poem in Memory of Stephan
March 31, 2007 by The Grief Blog
Filed under Blog, Grief Poems, Q&A
With sun’s warmth wasted on a stone,
Is it almost honey, is it snow?
I’ve drifted somewhat from the distant heart
Winds blow sharp, what then?
But snow has gathered there, has piled up,
snoozing. A schoolgirl on vacation gapes,
And Mère Chose’s square of world, even as they
Of the matter of snow here. Both of us have grasped
She stretches a hand toward the toothy sleeper
Lucky the bell—still full and deep of throat,
Although December’s frost killed the winter crop,
At San Biagio, in the most intense room
In the dread circle hemmed by glaciers,
snowdrops and crocuses might be fooled
This perfection, this absence.
Will hear the storm-blast of his clarion.
March 29, 2007 Building Memorial Gardens to Honor Our Children: Jo Ann Glim
March 29, 2007 by The Grief Blog
Filed under Past Show Transcripts, Q&A, Radio Show
HEALING THE GRIEVING HEART
Building Memorial Gardens to Honor our Children
Hosts: Dr. Gloria Horsley and Dr. Heidi Horsley
With guest: Jo Ann Glim
March 29, 2007
G: Hello. I’m Dr. Gloria Horsley with my co-host
H: Dr. Heidi Horsley.
G: Each week we welcome you to Healing the Grieving Heart, a show of hope and conversation with those who’ve suffered the loss of a loved one and for health care professionals who work in this most difficult field. As always the message is others have been there before you and made it. So can you. You do not walk alone. If you’re listening to our Thursday live Internet show, please join Heidi and me and our guest on the show by calling our toll free number 1-866-472-5792 with questions or comments regarding the losses in your life. These shows are archived on our blog, www.thegriefblog.com, as well as www.thecompassionatefriends.org websites. All shows can be downloaded through Itunes and transcripts can be accessed on www.thegriefblog.com. Well, Heidi, good morning. Read more
MARCH 29, 2007 - BUILDING MEMORIAL GARDENS TO HONOR OUR CHILDREN: JO ANN GLIM
March 29, 2007 by The Grief Blog
Filed under Q&A, Selected Guest Quotations
Jo Ann Glim, a true survivor who lost her father at age five and her mother at age fourteen. However, she tells us, that it wasn’t until she retired, endured the death of a grandchild, and experienced a debilitating stroke that her true vocation became clear. Jo Ann founded and serves as President of the Children’s Memorial and Gardens, a non-profit organization whose vision is to connect gardens dedicated to the memory of our children through a national registry; and to raise awareness as to the Effects and complexities of child-loss grief. http://www.childrensmemorialandgarden.org/ <http://www.childrensmemorialandgarden.org/> Read more
A New Webiste You Might Like to Check Out
March 29, 2007 by The Grief Blog
Filed under Blog, Q&A
Are You Afraid to Cry? The Hidden Power of Tears
March 28, 2007 by The Grief Blog
Filed under Blog, Dealing with Grief, Q&A, Stages of Grief
Do you have the courage to cry? In my experience, a vast majority of people I encounter seem to suppress their tears because our culture deems crying in public as unacceptable. I wonder how it is that if you and I are to fully encourage success in life that we can also discourage our emotional response to that life. It seems to me that inhibiting tears somehow means that you’re strong and capable; unaffected by and disconnected from the influence of others. What I’m suggesting is that to detach from others is to be invulnerable to one’s self; to be invulnerable to your whole being, your whole life, and your whole good. Read more
Grieving Infant Loss
March 27, 2007 by The Grief Blog
Filed under Blog, Dealing with Grief, Death of a Child, Q&A
Dear Ruthanne,
I am so very sorry about the loss of your son Cayden. Gloria Horsley asked if I could recommend anything that might help you in finding some support. After the loss of our son Nicholas 10 years ago I relied heavily on reading everything I could regarding infant loss and grief in general and well as talking to others with infant losses as well. There are several web sites that have numerous poems, articles, links, etc. Most of them have chat room capabilities for people who have lost a baby. The compassionate Friends has an infant loss chat session on Tuesday nights that can be accessed through the website www.compassionatefriends.org . Another excellent site is www.shareatlanta.org. This site has many features including a chat schedule. There are also Share groups that con be attended. The National Share site is www.nationalshareoffice.com. They will also send you a packet of information and a free newsletter subscription for a year if you request it. The site www.hygeia.org is probably the best site I have used for pregnancy and infant loss. This was started by an OB/GYN and professor of Obstetrics at Yale University, Richard Berman. He also wrote an excellent book that I highly recommend called “Parenthood Lost > Healing the Pain after Miscarriage, Stillbirth, and Infant Death”. I found this really helpful. This site allows you to sign in and answer a questionnaire that then places you on a parent list that can be accessed by others if you agree. This feature allows you to search out other people who have joined who have had similar losses. I do know of two people who have attended our pregnancy and Infant loss group of our Compassionate Friends chapter who have lost babies to what was initially thought of as SIDS but were eventually told that their baby had aspirated or had been asphyxiated and therefore SIDS was ruled out. I have recently attended a conference on SIDS and was surprised at the US government programs that are available for this kind of loss which exclude other kinds of infant loss. I think, after years of doing the why me and just why, questions, I have come to the conclusion for my self that in the end, when our babies are gone, the way we lost them becomes secondary to the fact that they and the future we planned to have with them are gone. It is a very lonely road but it certainly helped me to find people to talk to who had also lost a baby even though none of their losses were similar to mine. You are welcome to email me also any time. Let me know if you find any of these sites helpful.
www.compassionatefriends.org
www.hygeia.org
www.shareatlanta.org
www.wintergreenpress.com
www.misschildren.org
Warmest regards,
Susan Hawkes,
The Compassionate Friends (TCF) Regional Coordinator for Southern California
Co-Chapter Leader for TCF Verdugo Hills, Glendale, California
Real Men Do Cry - words from Eric Hipple
March 25, 2007 by The Grief Blog
Filed under Blog, Child Suicide, Death and Dying, Death of a Child, Q&A, Suicide
For those who didn’t get a chance to listen to the archives of the Eric Hipple. Heidi and I wanted to give you some of the special things he said on the show. Please listen to the March 15th archives and let us know what you thought. Gloria (see quotes below. For the entire transcript choos “Past Show Transcripts from the sidbar on the left)
…our topic today is Real Men Do Cry and our guest is Eric Hipple. Eric Hipple was quarterback for the Detroit Lions from 1980-1989 and he lost his 15-year-old son, Jeff, to a self-inflicted gunshot wound in 2000. On this show, Eric shares with us how his professional life and his training as a supreme athlete have both helped him and hindered him in dealing with the death of his son. Eric has gone on to help others recognize the risk for suicide and to deal with the aftermath of the event. Eric serves on the National Advisory Board of the University of Michigan’s Depression Center and has become a presenter on depression and suicide prevention at middle schools, high schools, and colleges throughout Michigan. Eric has always been an inspiration to others both on and off the playing field. Welcome to the show, Eric.
E: Well, thank you for having me. I really appreciate the opportunity. Thank you, Heidi. Thank you, Gloria.
G: Thanks. It’s great to have you on. Before we get started, could you tell us a little about Jeff and about your journey.
E: Yeah. You know, as I look back, of course, now most of the thoughts I have are all good thoughts and very positive thoughts. In fact, I was going through for another project some 4-1/2 hours worth of tape of old home movies over the weekend. Yeah, and just watching the kids grow up and stuff and seeing there’s still a little tug of the heart strings and going back and watching the fun of him and enjoying him when he was younger and then, of course, the flash to when he was older and started having the difficulty, and then that’s where it’s kind of still a little bit painful and I think it always will be but the good certainly outweighs that tinge of the heart a little bit when you think that his life will no longer go forward. Read more
Re: Sharing Infant Death Stories
March 25, 2007 by The Grief Blog
Filed under Blog, Q&A
Dear Ruthanne,
Heidi and I were so very sorry to hear about the death of Cayden. We have put out the word to others who have suffered the loss of young babies. We have also sent an e-mail to Pat Loder the Executive Director of The Compassionate Friends. We will mention your loss on our show on Thursday and hope to find you some contacts and hopefully a Chat Room. Thanks for your e-mail and again we are so sorry to hear of the loss of Cayden. Hang in there and take care of yourself. Gloria
Kudos From Kathy
March 25, 2007 by The Grief Blog
Filed under Q&A
I have been catching up on some of your past shows, and what you and Heidi are doing is just so fantastic - you have done a wonderful, wonderful thing for all us grievers…I just love you to pieces, Gloria! Thank you!
Cathy Seehuetter a past guest on Healing the Grieving Heart
Sharing Infant Death Survivor Stories
March 23, 2007 by The Grief Blog
Filed under Blog, Q&A, Your Stories
My son, Cayden passed away on Feb. 3rd in his seventh month. My husband and I are dealing with it o.k, however we have not been able to talk to anyone about it or anything. We have alot of people to talk too but none that have experianced what we have. We live in Hamilton, Ont. There is help for people that have lost young children, or babies to s.i.d.s, but our son was not a s.i.d.s. case. He died from choking on his own spit in his sleep. What I need help with is finding a web site that deals with this sort of stuff. I have searched but the sites are of no help. I would like to find a site that shares other infant death survior’s stories and has a chat room or somewhere that you can get in touch with them to talk and share your stories. Thank you for your help.
