Grieving Fathers & Parents Create Baby Loss Memorials
Submitted by Diana Gardner-Williams on June 7, 2008 – 11:23 amDiana Gardner-Williams is the mother of 3 year old son, 2 early pregnancy losses and 1 stillbirth. Nearly 3 years after loosing her stillborn son Tanner, Diana set out to provide a creative outlet for... more
3 CommentsWe never truly know how our partner will react when a baby or pregnancy has come to an end. Most likely our husbands will grieve and display sorrow in a different manner.
After the stillbirth of our son Tanner, my husband felt the need to fix things by using his hands. He built beautiful stone benches, a pergola and hung a swing in Tanner’s memory gardens.
Since men and women grieve differently, it is important to allow husbands to express their pain in a way that is comfortable for them. Not only was my husband grieving when Tanner died, my father and father-in -law were also suffering deeply. My father lives 700 hundred miles away and wanted to help in any way that he could be using his hands. He also assisted in the construction of the pergola that serves as the entrance to one of Tanner’s memory gardens.
Men feel the need to make things right by using their hands. Participating in the construction of a memorial for their deceased child may help them walk the road of grief with more direction. Building?a keepsake?memorializing a deceased child may give men?a sense of accomplishment and purpose. I know that my husband also wanted to make me feel better and cushion the pain I was feeling. He built a beautiful shadowbox to hold all of Tanner’s memories for me.
There are so many memorial keepsakes men can make with their own 2 hands. My husband also created a name plaque for Tanner’s memory garden.
If you live in an apartment or do not have the space for a memory garden, talk to your husband about creating one at your church.
Please share the memorials your husbands have created honoring your precious children in heaven.
Peace Love and Hugs from Above? www.justacloudaway.com
Diana
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My heart goes out to you,I too lost a baby and at times the pain seems to last forever.
Your a true insperation to many.
God bless , Sandra x
Dear Sandra, In my search for the dad’s grief support sites I have come across your posting. I am so sorry for your loss . I am so greatful for your posting ,though. Could you give me premission to copy parts of it onto my blog with back links to this post ? Love Dana
Im sorry to hear of your loss.
My wife and I just lost our baby boy to a stillbirth just short of full term. I have since been looking all over the internet for help for greiving fathers and this site is the only one I have found. I like the ideas your husband has come up with. Unfortunately I need more than that. Has he found any information on the internet to help him along in his struggle? I cant find anything and I dont know how much of this pain I can take without finding something. I cant be superman like I should be much longer.