When I lost my husband so suddenly, I just kept going. That was what I thought I was supposed to do, so just like the bunny in that battery ad, I shifted into high gear and I didn’t stop.
Of course, doing that didn’t give me the time I needed to process what had happened. Neither did it allow me to take care of my body properly, and my body was really asking for help. All the unresolved stress I was feeling was impacting my body in serious ways.
Then one day, when I was about at the point of collapse, I had to choose between going home and going to bed or staying for a program I really wanted to hear. The fellow who was giving the program happened to be a doctor. I’ll never forget what Ted said when I told him of my dilemma: “For heaven’s sake, listen to your body! The body never lies!”
What a gift that was! I felt as though I’d just been given permission to take care of myself. What Ted told me not only has stayed with me through the years, my body’s signals have become a sort of inner wisdom that I try my best to honor.
As I see it, the body’s signals are a lot like the rudder on a ship. The body always knows what it needs, and it will tell us if we will just pay attention. I’ll be the first to admit it isn’t always easy to not do something you’d like to do “just” because the body is saying “no,” but why undermine your health when it can be so easy to support it by simply honoring what your body is saying?
Oh yes, I’ve missed out on some things I really would have liked to have done, but I have never been sorry that I listened.
When people lose someone they love dearly they become so overwhelmed with sadness that they forget to pay attention to what their body is telling them it needs. This can happen for a variety of reasons. Sometimes the bereaved believe if they take the time to care for themselves, to be selfish, that it is not honoring their loved one. OR it can go in the completely opposite direction and people keep so busy to keep from remembering or feeling sad. Then they run into becoming too tired and to the point of their body shutting down on them. Either way it is bad for you.
Losing someone you love dearly is awful, but no matter how much the sadness takes over our lives we have to remember to care for ourselves first. Our loved ones would not want us to mistreat our bodies so we can be of no help to others that might need us. We have to listen to what our body is telling us it needs, no matter how deep in our sorrow we are. Thanks for sharing your story! It was inspirational.
I lost my daughter Sarah(27) and my grandughter Ariana (19Mnths) 1-23-2017 Thanksgiving evening. She hit a 350lb bar going home. My 4 yr old granson Julian survived. I am over ran with grief. I cannot quit crying. I have meltdowns, from small ones to huge balling fits on the floor. I still cannot believe it. I have seen the car, read the autopsy, 1st responders report and chp report an heard from the person in the car behind her, She sdid not ie alone I was told. That opened the door to my search . Well how long was she alive then hearing her babies cries, paralized.? The bears 1st contact was my daughters neck and broke it but did not kill her instantly as stated. She died of a heart atttack, 1000mm blood loss, her head, neck skull was all broke. I saw her before cremation. I could not hold her. or baby Ari. I hardly sleep, I have addison’s disese and went into crisis that night and was ambulanced in too,and have almost went in to two other crisis’s. I am not getting better. Someone flew me to Hawaii, I was convinced swimming with dolphins would help me, I did airbnb and go an abusive lady who emotionally and verbally abused me and I had no transportation.I was lucky I made it back. I need help. I am finally in a grieving class group but I was told I need trauma counseling and I have ptsd and my grandson does too. His father is not getting him help, I am his sounding board. I just had him today. He cried horribly when he leaves me. I lett him sleep with her shirt and give him the love he needs,but he tires me out.I can only do one to two days, he is stress eating too. I feel if there is hell this is it.Please help me.. Our story is on KCRA (3) they interiewed me. It is on the internet too. I’m trying to get better for Julian my grandson, he needs me I need him. p.s. I was born in Sacramento Live in the foothills and mtns. Do you know of any retreat or someplace to help me. I am fighting off a crisis this whole ls week.
Correction I lost them 11-23-2017
Tracie, losses such as yours can be so overwhelming that we simply cannot process what has happened. We don’t know what to do or where to turn for help. Time does help, but there is much you can do to help yourself, too. I would suggest signing on to the course, MOVING THROUGH GRIEF, A GUIDE TO INNER WHOLENESS. It walks you through all the stages, everything you have to deal with and gives you pointers on how to lift yourself out of this step by step. It was written as a 4-week course, but the intention is that participants go at their own pace. Also, if you see a section that really speaks to you, start there. You can access this program by going to http://www.contemplativejournal.com. You will see some of my articles at the top of the page which you might also benefit from. To access the course, just scroll down toward the bottom where there is a link to the program. Click on that and follow the directions to sign on.
As you work through this program, Tracie, please feel free to email me with whatever questions you have.
In the meantime, please know I’ll be lifting you up in prayer and holding you close in my heart.
With blessings and love,
Donna Miesbach, CMI, RYT
Chopra Center Certified Meditation & Yoga Instructor
Author of the Award-Winning Book, “From Grief to Joy, A Journey Back to Life & Living”
Contemplative Journal Author & Instructor, “Moving Through Grief, A Guide to Inner Wholeness”
dmiesbach@cox.net
http://www.donnamiesbach.com
To teach ~ To heal ~ To love ~ To bless