by Sandy Fox

Sometimes in the mist of everyday living something special happens that you know you will keep in your heart forever. For me that something special happened about six months ago.

Out of nowhere I received a letter from my daughter Marcy’s first high school boyfriend from 25 years ago, a very personal letter in which he opened his heart about what Marcy meant to him. Almost 15 years is a long time to wait to write such a letter, but just the fact that it was sent at all was so very special to me.

He found me because of an article in a newspaper about my foundation in Marcy’s memory, which also names my book, hence finding my email address.

I remember this young gentleman as being very sweet, kind to Marcy, and full of life and laughter. He spent time at our home and reminded me of a couple of times when he was invited to dinner, how they hiked up the mountain near the house and the trips he took with us. I had completely forgotten those times, but he still remembered. How much those times must have meant to him. It gave me an insight into his heart and how it, too, must have been broken when they split up and then when he heard she had died ten years later.

Mostly, he offered his deepest sympathy and then spoke of what Marcy had meant to him and how very special she was, a confirmation of everything I feel also. Since this gentleman didn’t know any of Marcy’s more recent friends, it is amazing how closely the feelings and reactions from him are attuned to what most everyone said about her in other letters to me after her death. The phrases: amazing energy, had so much to give to the world, brought so much light unto others, we are all better for having known her…all so typical of how others saw her. And now another person added to the list. Most amazing was the fact that Marcy died on this gentleman’s birthday, March 2.

In a second note to me after I responded to his, he told me a little about his life thus far. He never married, but has had success in his career and now seems to be seeking more meaning to his life. It was a sad reminder of what might have been had he and Marcy been able to continue their relationship. It was not in the cards for them, but his letters brought a smile to my face as I remembered life so many years ago.

Thank you, young man, for the gift of remembrance…a gift that came from your heart and now has touched mine forever.

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Sandy Fox

Sandy Fox has won four finalist awards for her recent book "Creating a New Normal...After the Death of a Child" with over 80 coping articles and a huge resource section. One award is from USA Book News in the Health/Death and Dying Category for 2010. The second award is from ForeWord Reviews in the Health Category for 2010. The third is from Royal Dragonfly Book Awards. The most recent finalist award is for the self-help category of the 2011 Indie Book Awards. She is also the author of another grief book, "I Have No Intention of Saying Good-bye." “I Have No Intention of Saying Good-bye” tells the stories of 25 sets of parents and how they moved on with their lives after the death of their child, offering hope and survival techniques. Sandy has headed two national bereavement conferences for childless parents and spoken for many years at Compassionate Friends National conferences, POMC and across the U.S. to a variety of bereavement groups. She also writes articles for the Open to Hope site, EZ articles, and Journey through grief newsletter in addition to her own weekly blog: www.survivinggrief.blogspot.com. Sandy can be contacted at sfoxaz@hotmail.com to set up any speaking engagements or to ask any questions related to surviving the death of a child. Sandy was a guest on the radio show “Healing the Grieving Heart“ discussing: “I have no intention of Saying Good-Bye: Coping Techniques for the Now Childless.” To hear Sandy being interviewed on this show by Dr. Gloria & Dr. Heidi Horsley, click on the following link: www.voiceamericapd.com/health/010157/horsley010407.mp3

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