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Grief Has Many Emotions

Posted on August 28, 2023 - by Anne Peterson

Grief Has Many Emotions With my mother gone and my father gone, I often felt abandoned. I’d look around and notice other families. Families that seemed happy. But seeing them it felt like I was like rubbing salt in my open wound. I’m sure there were other families who had lost loved ones, but my pain kept me focused on me, not on them. Besides, feelings rarely care about what’s true. I can’t hear someone else’s pain while mine shouts. Anger coats my sadness. I have a hardness forming around my heart. Anger I’ll have to work through. And even […]

Grief of Unsolved Homicides

Posted on August 28, 2023 - by Lori Grande

Grief of Unsolved Homicides Unsolved homicide leaves co-victims within the same body, but of a different mind; feeling defeated and bound to the criminal justice system which usurps the instinctual drive for justice. The path toward resolution in the midst of these circumstances may be supported by reconstructing that which was taken at the time of the homicide – the meaning of our loved one’s life and our own, outside of the defining point of the murder. By embracing this meaning, we reclaim power and transform defeat into hope. Turning the tables on defeat, and feelings of powerlessness, occurs by […]

After Daughter Dies, Mother Heals Slowly

Posted on August 17, 2023 - by Nina Norstrom

After a Daughter Dies The experience of my daughter’s illness and death had seemingly sent me to hell and back. I became engulfed by rage, and my depression had finally whacked me out. It meant nothing to curl into a fetal position, with my back curved, head bowed, and all limbs bent and drawn in. I could have stayed that way endlessly. I’ll say this again: parents aren’t expected to live to bury their children. And when they do, the impact can be heartbreaking, devastating. Although the wounds mend, they are never fully healed—especially during holidays, birthdays, graduations, wedding ceremonies, […]

Sitting With My Daughter’s Body

Posted on August 16, 2023 - by Nina Norstrom

Sitting With My Daughter’s Body When we walked toward China’s room, a cold wave passed through my body. On approaching the door, I noticed it was shut. “Why, why is the door closed?” I yelled out. No one answered. Obviously, they had their reason. I entered the room. China’s eyes were closed, and her face possessed a heavenly glow. Although China had been gone for some time, her body had been untouched. Embracing her, I felt that her body temperature had dropped—the touch of her skin was cold as ice. All of us in the room, including Craig, gathered around […]

When Your Teen Daughter Clings to Life

Posted on August 15, 2023 - by Nina Norstrom

When Your Teen Daughter Clings to Life China was readmitted to South Suburban Hospital after having been released. The fear of losing her bonded our family. Many a night, the nurses came in the room to probe their needles deep into her flesh. No matter how hard they tried, the blood that flowed through her tiny veins no longer surfaced. There she lay in a hopeless, lifeless state. The blood that dried up in her veins now filtered through her urine. The catheter bag hanging from the tubes bore a deep flush of redness. Her struggle to end it all […]

When Your Teen Daughter Becomes Ill

Posted on August 14, 2023 - by Nina Norstrom

When Your Teen Daughter Becomes Ill China’s eagerness to attend school was overwhelming; she was excited about becoming a senior. Despite her illness, my daughter met her class assignments. The pain pierced deeper when her hair started shedding. As each strand thinned and faded away, I convinced China to wear a wig. Each morning as I combed her wig, it took a lot of strength to hold my tears back. Watching the tears running down her cheeks broke my heart. The first two weeks of school went well. China would come home happy from being with her classmates. But it […]

Feeling the Loss of her Brothers

Posted on August 11, 2023 - by Anne Peterson

Feeling the Loss of her Brothers On February 18, my brother George was having a procedure done. A stent was being put in his heart. I could feel my anxiety stirring. Just two years earlier, we said goodbye to our brother Gus. Pancreatic cancer came and robbed him of his health. It was painful. I remember when he leaned forward one day and told us, “I’m so glad I won’t have to go through this with one of you guys.” With George in the hospital, I became nervous. I didn’t think I could go through something like that again. I […]

Living Children Come First After Loss

Posted on August 8, 2023 - by Ken Lefkowitz

My wife and I have lost two children, and we have three living children. One day, my wife spoke to me about her ambivalence about visiting the graves of our deceased children. Urge to Visit Cemetery “You know Ken,” she said. “Sometimes I have thoughts about visiting the unmarked graves where Carolyn and Matthew are buried in New York.” “It used to be a vague distant, almost undefined feeling rather than a crystal-clear thought. Then, like a puff of mystical smoke, it dissipated. It used to be that way, so I guess that’s why I never talked about it. Recently […]

Widower Keeps Both Wives’ Memories Alive

Posted on August 5, 2023 - by Peter Lichtenberg

Widower Keeps Wives’ Memories Alive In 2022, Dr. Sara Hackett published a paper describing how widows and widowers continue to depend on their romantic partners after those partners have died. Even many years after the death, Dr. Hacket reported, the deceased spouse continues to play a major role in life of the surviving partner. Those findings hit so close to home for me. I was widowed for the first time 38 years ago at age 25, and for the second time 9 years ago at age 55. My late partners, Becky and Susan, remain so much a part of my […]

Wishing Doesn’t Change Things

Posted on August 3, 2023 - by Anne Peterson

I’m sixteen, tired from my shift at the snack shop with Dad. All I want to do is go to bed. I’m not even going to church tomorrow, I decide. Is it 8:00 yet? Is that clock broken? Finally, I bag the freshly made hamburgers for hungry mouths at home. I walk the few blocks home in the cool November night. Walking in, the food is grabbed from my hands. “Is your father okay?” my mom calls from their bedroom. “Yeah, but he was crabby.” I lay on the couch, uniform and all. Just wanting sleep. But sometimes, we don’t […]