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Wishing the Holidays Would Go Away: Tips for Coping

Posted on December 21, 2023 - by Mary Joye

Holiday Pain Many people love the first crisp, nip of fall in the air. To those who are grieving, it can coldly cut deep into the spirit and re-open the wound. While children are making wishes to Santa, those that are living with the pain of loss are wishing the holidays would go away. If only wishing made it so. The moment the holiday lights come out, you may feel like you want to sit in the dark. You may not want to put out your decorations. You may not feel like lighting the candles of your faith. You may […]

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A Widower’s Christmas Wish List

Posted on December 19, 2023 - by Herb Knoll

From as far away as Australia to the British Isles, from Canada to Nigeria, the Widowers Support Network hears the cries of men who mourn the loss of their wife, their soul mates, their partners in life. They don’t ask for much, never have, never will.  After all, men who mourn are expected to “get over it,” right?  You know, be a man. Macho, if you will. Unfortunately, that’s not the way it was meant to be. It is said that to grieve, you first must have loved.  For without love, grief does not exist.  To have loved is among […]

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Guilty Thoughts and Grief

Posted on December 18, 2023 - by Greg Adams

Guilty Thoughts and Grief Guilt can be a sticky burden and a useful teacher. We need people to feel guilty when they do something wrong. People who don’t feel guilty are generally not safe, and they miss out on important lessons on what it means to be kind, faithful, and compassionate. Guilt can be a good teacher of just these things. The problem for most of us, however, is not that we feel too little guilt, it’s that we feel too much and for too long. Guilt can be a big part of grief, too. A very common and stubbornly […]

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Joining a Grief Support Group 

Posted on December 11, 2023 - by Harriet Hodgson

Joining a Grief Support Group Joining a support group can help those who are grieving. Many support groups were available in my area, and they differed widely. Before I joined a group, I did my homework and considered the following factors. Factors in Joining a Support Group Type of group: Support groups are supposed to meet needs. They include faith-based groups, disease-specific groups, end-of-life groups, after-death groups, and more. I wanted to find a group that fit my needs. The meeting place: Support groups meet in churches, hospitals, and places that have a minimal charge or are free. I looked […]

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When Someone Asks: ‘How Are You?’

Posted on December 11, 2023 - by Harriet Hodgson

After I’d lost several family members in a short time, the question “How are you?” always threw me off-balance. How did the person think I was after so much tragedy? Usually when someone asks this question, they expect one reply: “Fine.” I used this answer at first to end painful conversations. But I wasn’t fine, knew it, and came up with different answers to this common question. Months passed, and my next answer to the question was, “Okay.” I liked the answer because it was common language and fit many situations. “Getting along” was my third answer, the one I […]

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Jews Grieve Terrorism Against Israel

Posted on December 11, 2023 - by Dr. Carol Leibovich Mankes

Grief is a journey I know too well. I lost my husband and my mom to cancer within a few weeks of each other. But right now, I find myself experiencing grief on a whole new level, and this time in the company of a whole nation. The recent heartbreaking, terror-based, horrifying incident in Israel on October 7, where many innocent lives were lost and are still being lost, has unfortunately plunged the Jewish people into a realm of complicated grief. In facing this collective sorrow, I find myself resorting to familiar tools that once helped me cope with personal […]

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Evolving My Perspective on Grief

Posted on December 11, 2023 - by S. Dione Mitchell

Making Sense of Grief At first, I thought grief was an amorphous vapor that made your breathing labored and that obscured your view…temporarily. But I was wrong. Losing My Grandmother In 2016, I lost by grandma, Theresa Potts, the foundation of my human constitution. As a co-parent with my mother, she reared, disciplined, corrected, directed, encouraged and guided me. But more than anything, she loved me with a depth and breadth that I have not known before or since. And on June 3, 2016, my mother’s birthday, life on this side slipped quietly from my grandma’s hands, drained from her […]

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The Many Forms of Grief

Posted on December 11, 2023 - by S. Dione Mitchell

Contextualizing Grief In my experiences, grief has been most commonly recognized with a major event: the loss of another human being. There seemed to be a framework for understanding the sorrow and longing that a person feels who lost their mother or husband or child or friend, and in some instances a pet. Though not for long enough, there seemed to be recognition that this could affect one’s mood, health and therefore their presence at work or participation in social activities. Expanding the Definition of Grief However, there seemed to be no real framework for understanding other, more common forms […]

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Compassion is the Most Precious Gift

Posted on December 11, 2023 - by Bradie Hansen

Compassion is the Most Precious Gift The holiday season is upon us and with that comes a blur of sights, smells, memories and hopes. Some are pleasant and even joy filled. Others are tender, painful, and heartbreaking. The dissonance that so many of us feel as we navigate “the most wonderful time of the year” can be very disconcerting. Loneliness, resentment, and jealousy can dig in as the disparity between the haves and have-nots becomes clearer. People living with grief know about this. I’ve heard many refrains like, “I just want to get through the holidays so I don’t have […]

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Avoiding Burnout and Compassion Fatigue

Posted on December 7, 2023 - by Harriet Hodgson

Burnout and Compassion Fatigue My husband John’s illness progressed, and self-care became harder. I felt like I was playing a bad game of catch-up. No matter how hard I tried, I never caught up with caregiving tasks, and there were always unchecked items on my to-do list. I wondered if I’d make it through the day. When I was alone and honest with myself, I worried about burnout. Burnout can take years to develop. The caregiver’s feelings progress from enthusiasm (when they are first hired), to stagnation (too much work, too little time), to frustration (not being able to do […]

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