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Anger after a Sibling Loss

Posted on March 29, 2023 - by Sue Trace Lawrence

Anger after a Sibling Loss When a child loses a sibling, the surviving child may be overwhelmed by anger. As with guilt, anger can be conscious or unconscious and is evident in thoughts like the following: I am mad at my sibling for messing up my life. My parents should have protected my brother. My mom and dad should be there for me. God shouldn’t have let this happen to my family. The doctors and nurses weren’t good enough to fix my sister. My friends don’t understand and aren’t there for me. My family should have included me more in […]

Spring Holidays May Trigger Grief

Posted on March 27, 2023 - by Janice Bell Meisenhelder

Spring Holidays May Trigger Grief Our springtime spiritual holidays and rituals hold memories and significance which enriches our lives. But they may also be difficult waters to navigate following the loss of a loved one. Just as Thanksgiving or other holidays harken traditions of gathering with family and friends, these spring holidays often hold the same expectations of togetherness. People in grief react differently to these holiday triggers, just as any other trigger. Some people find great comfort in gathering with others and reminiscing. One woman found the Stages of the Cross of Good Friday to offer her the opportunity […]

We Don’t Grieve Alone

Posted on March 21, 2023 - by Sara Striefel

It’s been three years since my mother joined the light, and my grief continues to evolve. Most days I am whole, planting my feet on the ground, paying my bills, feeding my children. It happens still though. Sometimes in the quiet of solitude. Sometimes in the piercing morning light, when the beauty of a snow-covered mountainside is so startling that it brings me to tears. I remember her love of everything. Everything. And for a moment I cannot breathe. It never goes away, but I have learned to live with my grief, to welcome it even. It no longer bowls […]

Role of Guilt in Sibling Loss

Posted on March 17, 2023 - by Sue Trace Lawrence

How Guilt Shows Itself More than any other emotion, guilt arguably dominates the mental life of a sibling who losing a sibling. This guilt can take many forms, depending on the relationship between the siblings and the manner of death. Siblings can feel responsible and place blame on themselves, sometimes irrationally. Common thoughts reflecting this self-blame include: I am older, so I should have been the protector. Why didn’t I go first? I was sick, too, so why didn’t I die? I shouldn’t have thought those mean things about my sister. I should have been nicer and not fought the […]

Sibling Loss in Childhood is Trauma

Posted on March 16, 2023 - by Sue Trace Lawrence

Is Sibling Loss a Trauma? One phenomenon inherent in the popularizing of psychology over the last few decades has been the incorporation of “buzzwords” into our lexicon. An example is the use of the term “trauma.” This term is used frequently by both the media and lay people in everyday conversation to describe a variety of experiences. We state that someone has been “traumatized” by various situations. But what specifically does that mean? What differentiates a truly traumatizing experience from a merely unpleasant one? Most present-day psychologists would admit that there is no definitive answer to this dilemma, and that […]

When Siblings Die Young

Posted on March 13, 2023 - by Sue Trace Lawrence

When Siblings Die Young Many decades ago, there was a little girl who had a wonderful life. She lived comfortably, with two parents who adored her, a younger brother she could boss around, two equally doting sets of grandparents, a great-grandmother who thought she could do no wrong, and a great aunt who was captivated by her. Too young to realize her family was not rich, she lived in a cozy house with her own room. The girl loved animals and music, and her favorite toys were the plastic and stuffed animals she collected. Never having been away from home […]

What We Say to The Dying

Posted on March 13, 2023 - by Sherry Walling

“I thought: maybe death isn’t darkness, after all, but so much light wrapping itself around us— as soft as feathers— that we are instantly weary of looking, and looking, and shut our eyes, not without amazement, and let ourselves be carried, as through the translucence of mica, to the river that is without the least dapple or shadow— that is nothing but light—scalding, aortal light— in which we are washed and washed out of our bones. — from “White Owl Flies Into and Out of the Field ”, by Mary Oliver Can Death be About Light? In her poem “White […]

How Massage Heals Grief

Posted on March 13, 2023 - by Nina Impala

How Massage Heals Grief When you’re sad and someone hugs you — a heartfelt-lingering-hug that says, I care about you, I know your’re hurting — it feels comforting. Like a cup of the best hot chocolate on a cold rainy day, it makes life a little more tolerable. I was a massage therapist and Reiki practitioner for 17 years, then went back to school and coupled my massage practice with grief counseling. It was magic. In this technological world, we are losing the power of touch and the healing effects it has on the human spirit especially with grief. That […]

Exploring Contact Through a Medium

Posted on March 7, 2023 - by Kim Pierce

Death of my Partner I expected my fiancé to meet me at the airport that day in 1998. Instead, a friend was there, and he delivered the fateful words: “Kim, he died.” Phillip’s death from a sudden heart attack shattered my world. We’d met later in life, in our 40s, and knew instantly we were soulmates. We looked forward to a future together. A future that was not to be. Anyone who has lost a loved one knows the shock and pain that come next. I likened the loss to physical pain – except there seemed to be no limit […]

When to Seek Grief Counseling

Posted on March 5, 2023 - by Brian Smith

When to Seek Grief Counseling Grief is an inevitable part of life. Some think there is a cure for grief and they treat grief like a disease. Grief counseling may or may not be beneficial to you. Most people are able to deal with most grief with their social network of family and friends. If you’re functioning normally, able to get out of bed, sleep, work, etc., you might not need grief counseling. However, if you’re having suicidal thoughts, can’t sleep, can’t eat, you require medical intervention. If there is any doubt, get to your doctor. Some red flags are: […]