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Retraining Our Brains Through Grief

Posted on September 18, 2023 - by Ellen Besso

Retraining Our Brains Through Grief “During periods of grief the human brain undergoes a process known as neuroplasticity, in which the brain rewires itself in response to emotional trauma.” ~ Widows Empowerment Trust Moving one block away from our home has been surprisingly disorienting for me. Although I can walk the same routes on the streets I’ve walked on for 30+ years, the neighbourhood seems different. Across the road from Marina Place is the beautiful forest trail of living breathing trees as well as the fallen nurse tree skeletons. I go there daily, it’s short but healing, bringing me out […]

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Dreams Can Help the Grieving Process

Posted on September 18, 2023 - by Ellen Besso

Dreams Can Help the Grieving Process I began preparing myself for my mother’s death a long time ago, even before she came to live in our community so that we could support her. Occasional dreams appeared in which I or we (my partner and daughter) had to save Mom; in those dreams, she was called “Little Mommy.” Often, water would be involved. Perhaps she would fall off a dock, and we would pull her out of the water. The dreams became even more prophetic before our last trip to India in the fall of 2009, when I dreamed that she […]

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What is a Good Death?

Posted on September 11, 2023 - by Julie Nierenberg

What is a Good Death? What constitutes a good death? Many among those who’ve approached death themselves, or assisted dying people, have contemplated this question and made suggestions on this subject. The following discussion of factors that support a good death is neither comprehensive nor thorough. There are so many divergent thoughts on the topic of a good death that an entire text could be devoted to that subject alone. But some fairly common themes emerge when one gathers such information. Dignity or a Sense of Control The word dignity appears again and again in the literature about a good […]

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When a Parent Starts Dating: The Role of Adult Children

Posted on September 11, 2023 - by Mike Bernhardt

Dating After a Spouse-Loss Our society has so many expectations for us after our spouse has died. We should grieve—depending on the expectations of our friends, religious traditions, or workplace expectations—for anywhere from a few weeks to many years. The reality of course is that we will grieve for however long we will grieve. The world might forget that we lost the love of our lives; but we don’t. Our friends, even family members, might encourage us to move on before we are ready because they need us to move on. Contrarily, if we feel ready to build a new […]

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Finding Authenticity Through Grief

Posted on September 11, 2023 - by Dr. Carol Leibovich Mankes

Finding Authenticity Through Grief Seven years ago, I embarked on a journey that would redefine the very essence of who I was. Becoming a solo mom after a lifetime spent with my late husband was a sudden and profound change. It left me standing at a crossroads, with a burning desire to discover my purpose, set meaningful goals, and define clear intentions for my life. Nonetheless, this journey was far from simple and frequently accompanied by profound solitude. I discovered that navigating the grieving process can be arduous and emotionally taxing. However, I also came to understand that it possesses […]

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Grief Has Many Emotions

Posted on August 28, 2023 - by Anne Peterson

Grief Has Many Emotions With my mother gone and my father gone, I often felt abandoned. I’d look around and notice other families. Families that seemed happy. But seeing them it felt like I was like rubbing salt in my open wound. I’m sure there were other families who had lost loved ones, but my pain kept me focused on me, not on them. Besides, feelings rarely care about what’s true. I can’t hear someone else’s pain while mine shouts. Anger coats my sadness. I have a hardness forming around my heart. Anger I’ll have to work through. And even […]

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Grief of Unsolved Homicides

Posted on August 28, 2023 - by Lori Grande

Grief of Unsolved Homicides Unsolved homicide leaves co-victims within the same body, but of a different mind; feeling defeated and bound to the criminal justice system which usurps the instinctual drive for justice.  The path toward resolution in the midst of these circumstances may be supported by reconstructing that which was taken at the time of the homicide – the meaning of our loved one’s life and our own, outside of the defining point of the murder. By embracing this meaning, we reclaim power and transform defeat into hope.  Turning the tables on defeat, and feelings of powerlessness, occurs by […]

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After Daughter Dies, Mother Heals Slowly

Posted on August 17, 2023 - by Nina Norstrom

After a Daughter Dies The experience of my daughter’s illness and death had seemingly sent me to hell and back. I became engulfed by rage, and my depression had finally whacked me out. It meant nothing to curl into a fetal position, with my back curved, head bowed, and all limbs bent and drawn in. I could have stayed that way endlessly. I’ll say this again: parents aren’t expected to live to bury their children. And when they do, the impact can be heartbreaking, devastating. Although the wounds mend, they are never fully healed—especially during holidays, birthdays, graduations, wedding ceremonies, […]

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Sitting With My Daughter’s Body

Posted on August 16, 2023 - by Nina Norstrom

Sitting With My Daughter’s Body When we walked toward China’s room, a cold wave passed through my body. On approaching the door, I noticed it was shut. “Why, why is the door closed?” I yelled out. No one answered. Obviously, they had their reason. I entered the room. China’s eyes were closed, and her face possessed a heavenly glow. Although China had been gone for some time, her body had been untouched. Embracing her, I felt that her body temperature had dropped—the touch of her skin was cold as ice. All of us in the room, including Craig, gathered around […]

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When Your Teen Daughter Clings to Life

Posted on August 15, 2023 - by Nina Norstrom

When Your Teen Daughter Clings to Life China was readmitted to South Suburban Hospital after having been released. The fear of losing her bonded our family. Many a night, the nurses came in the room to probe their needles deep into her flesh. No matter how hard they tried, the blood that flowed through her tiny veins no longer surfaced. There she lay in a hopeless, lifeless state. The blood that dried up in her veins now filtered through her urine. The catheter bag hanging from the tubes bore a deep flush of redness. Her struggle to end it all […]

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