Open to Hope Articles

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Mom’s First Birthday Without Daughter

Posted on January 2, 2022 - by Patsy Freeman

I was dreading my first birthday without my daughter, and I knew that if I didn’t mark it differently it would be unbearable. The days leading up to it are grim. My body begins aching all over, so much so that I worry I am going back to how I was at the start. Then I remember that the body has its own cellular memory. It forgets nothing. My body knows full well that my birthday is approaching. On the day itself, I am relieved to wake up feeling better. I leave the house before the postman comes, knowing there […]

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First Days After My Child’s Death

Posted on January 2, 2022 - by Patsy Freeman

It’s the first days after my child’s death. I write her a letter. Dear Jasmine, I’m in agony and spend ages just sitting on the sofa. It’s hard to describe how I feel. I’ve not energy for anything. Muppet needs a walk each day but that’s about it. I can’t get warm, even with a hot water bottle on my back. Anna has been over. You met her on a few occasions. She hands me a card and a small gift. I make tea for us. I want to talk about you, so tell her a little about your funeral. […]

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Forever Loved: Parents Love Their Deceased Children

Posted on December 18, 2021 - by Lydia Hill

Tim and Donna Culliver had nothing to worry about. That’s what the doctor told the Brenham, Texas, couple when Donna brought in their 4-year-old son, Adam, after he developed a fever and began complaining of nausea. Reassured that he had just caught a typical stomach bug, they returned home, where Adam continued running around with his usual infectious, energetic smile on his face. Two days later, Adam woke up from an afternoon nap screaming that his eyes hurt. “It was a different cry,” Donna recalled in a recent phone interview. “Like an excruciating cry, like, ‘Help me.’” She noticed his […]

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Through the Holidays, Grief Just Is

Posted on December 12, 2021 - by Sara Striefel

I sat down today to write about grief during the holidays. I started and stopped. Wrote a paragraph and then deleted it. I left the page to read someone else’s wise words, picking through the web of loss that spans the globe, searching for insight from others that have traveled this path before me and found grace in the process. I took a long walk. I asked my mother (gone from this earthy plane for over two years now) for guidance. Grief Is After some time, I came back to the page and saw that two words remained at the top […]

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Grief Tools to Support You

Posted on December 12, 2021 - by Catherine McNulty

Grief Tools for Support As I walked down the concrete path away from the hospital that had become my reality, grief came over me like a tidal wave. I wasn’t sure I’d survive. I walked across the street to where I had stayed for 42 days and 42 nights, as tears began streaming down my face. There was no longer a reason to be in the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU), and I was devastated. I needed some grief tools to make it through. That morning, as I left the hospital without my six-week-old son, my whole world came crashing […]

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Quiet Times Help Grievers During the Holidays

Posted on December 12, 2021 - by Dr. Gloria and Dr. Heidi Horsley

The holidays are exciting, a time of sparkling lights, special music, family traditions, and giving gifts. But holidays are also challenging for the bereaved. Without your loved one, holidays aren’t the same and never will be. The good news is that quiet times help grievers during the holidays. You may not want to be quiet. You may instead choose distraction, and rush from one activity to the next. Consciously or subconsciously, you know staying busy helps you avoid painful feelings. No matter how much you rush, however, grief is your shadow, and follows you everywhere. While you can’t avoid grief, […]

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Setting Grief Healing Goals

Posted on December 12, 2021 - by Dr. Gloria and Dr. Heidi Horsley

  For many, the arrival of a New Year means making resolutions. Resolutions and goals are similar, yet they are different. A resolution is supposed to be a firm decision, whereas a goal is something you aim for and work toward. If you are grieving this year, how about setting grief healing goals? Goals are a bright idea at this dark time of life. Your goals don’t have to be huge; they just need to exist. Maybe your goal is to make it to the next minute. After you’ve done that, your goal is to make it to the next […]

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Self-Care During the Holidays

Posted on December 12, 2021 - by Brandi Reyna

Self-Care During the Holidays The holidays are hard for people for any number of reasons. Losing someone who means a lot to you can be especially difficult during the holidays. That’s why it’s so important to practice self-care during the holidays. In current culture, self-care is often deemed as selfish; however, when taken into perspective, the more you take care of yourself, the more able you are to tend to your other responsibilities. “Self-care” is defined as: “the process of taking care of oneself with behaviors that promote health and active management of illness when it occurs.” There are several […]

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Second Holiday Without Your Spouse Harder Than First

Posted on December 12, 2021 - by Peggy Bell

It’s the holiday season again. People told you last year the first without your spouse would be the most difficult. But here it is, another year past, and the second holiday without your spouse is harder than the first. Is something wrong with you? If you are wondering that you are not alone. For many, the second year is actually more difficult than the first.  There are reasons for this and one or more may be the case for you. Your spouse died closer to the end of the year. Sometimes if the loss was still very new, you could […]

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What is the Recipe for Grief?

Posted on December 12, 2021 - by Judy Lipson

What is the recipe for grief? There is no recipe for grief. Years after the deaths of my sisters, my complicated grief program required that I incorporate self-compassion into my practice of forgiveness. I learned to repeat this thought: I did the best I could at the time. I am amazing now. These words were crucial. As a figure skater, I thought of this like learning a new element on the ice. I’d break down the element into segments, put the pieces back together, and practice the skill over and over hundreds of times until it was mastered. Thirty Years […]

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