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Everyone Else is Carrying on with ‘Life as Usual’

Posted on September 13, 2020 - by Bob Baugher

This is an excerpt from the book: Coping with Grief: A Guide for the Bereaved Survivor by Bob Baugher. You can order it at: www.bobbaugher.com At this time in your life, the world looks different: Artificial Frightening Callous Indifferent Cold Insensitive Dreary Lonely Dull Uncaring You may find yourself surprised and hurt that, despite the fact that your life has totally changed, the rest of the world appears to operate just as it always has. Every day you see people going about their business as if nothing has changed. A common, but unexpressed feeling among bereaved people is […]

Embracing the Highs and Lows

Posted on September 9, 2020 - by Bunny Bennett

In facilitating small groups with sometimes noncommunicative teens, my wise colleague suggested beginning the session by asking each participant to share a high and a low. A high could include something going well, an accomplishment, an anticipated upcoming event, or anything positive, while a low could be something worrisome, circumstances that didn’t work out as planned, a disappointment, a traumatic event, etc. This activity works every single time like magic to get teens to open up! Sometimes, just discussing highs and lows could take a whole session and the participants always verbalized feeling better, supported, and connected, even when no […]

The Grieving Codependent

Posted on September 9, 2020 - by Mary Joye

Codependency is a term that gets tossed around a lot but few seem to know what it really means. Even those who suffer from it can be completely unaware it’s operating in their lives. Briefly defined, it is the loss of self, while caring for others. These are the selfless members of families and society who have a tendency to give until they give out and though they appear to be able to do anything, they can’t do everything. This is particularly true when experiencing grief. A codependent is often the one who is doing all the doing for the […]

Why Do I Feel So Guilty?

Posted on July 20, 2020 - by Catherine McNulty

In my humble opinion, western society drastically underestimates the magnitude of grief. Losing someone you love can be one of the most traumatic events many people will face. Death and grief are challenging in so many ways. If you are here because you are lost in grief, you know what I’m talking about. In my coaching practice, I set up weekly calls with those who are grieving. Feelings of intense guilt comes up for a lot of people. What I do is help them understand the emotion of guilt, where it comes from, and why it makes living with guilt […]

‘Put Your Feet on the Floor’: After a Child-Loss

Posted on July 14, 2020 - by Mary Jane Hurley Brant

From When Every Day Matters: A Mother’s Memoir on Love, Loss and Life (Simple Abundance Press) on Amazon December 2, 1999 Dear Katie, Your dad and I are beginning again. We are at the beach for a few days. It’s cold but lovely. I continue to write in my journal. I am reaching for the pen, instead of self-pity. It’s a good thing. Love, Mom When someone you dearly love dies, you let yourself think that they are sleeping. When you take a nap or go to bed, your loss is asleep. When you wake up, the pain is […]

Anticipatory Grief: As the End Nears

Posted on July 11, 2020 - by Harriet Hodgson

Anticipatory grief—a feeling of loss before a death or dreaded event—is a powerful mix of emotions. It is also a unique form of grief. Perhaps the most unusual aspect is sorrow mixed with hope. While you are grieving, you hope the doctor misdiagnosed your loved one’s illness or a miracle drug will suddenly appear. Hope is your lifeline, but for now, all you can do is wait. The waiting is hard and just keeps getting harder. Anticipatory grief follows you like a black storm cloud. If you feel this badly now, how will you feel after your loved one has […]

Fear at the Door, Rest Inside

Posted on July 8, 2020 - by Nathan Peterson

In the spring of 2012, I heard this word: “Rest.” I knew this word was important. I knew it held something of great value — something good for me. But I wasn’t even entirely sure what it was. Was it extra sleep? Was it not working on Sundays? Shortly after I heard this word, my life began to change. For one reason or another, one by one, the things with which I occupied myself were stripped away until I found myself with nothing left to hold. A year later, I was in a panic, wondering how we were going to […]

A Grieving Mother’s Bill of Rights

Posted on July 8, 2020 - by Harriet Hodgson

I have the right to lose track of conversations. I have the right to thank others for bad advice and ignore it. I have the right to put things in odd places, such as comb in the refrigerator. I have the right to lose things, even an egg. I have the right to read with poor or no comprehension. I have the right to get a driving buddy while overcome with grief. I have the right to burst into tears without warning. I have the right to dream about my child and awaken with tears on my face. I […]

The Gravity of Black Grief

Posted on July 8, 2020 - by Greg Adams

Let’s be clear right up front. For so many things in the grief and loss world, I just don’t get it. I have never been pregnant, felt the movement of arms and legs inside of me, and then felt the terrifying absence of movement. I have never had to tell my children that their mother is dead. Never have I had military personnel on my doorstep asking to come in to deliver bad news. I have never felt the horror and loss of sexual assault. I have not experienced the loss of family or friends when I “came out.” A […]

When Nothing Seems to Matter: Surviving the Death of Your Child

Posted on July 2, 2020 - by Basia Mosinski

This is an excerpt from LOST to FOUND: Surviving the Death of Your Child by Basia Mosinski, which is available at https://www.amazon.com/dp/1720222657 We cried and cried and cried. We were in shock. We were fearful. We were in disbelief. We asked questions. We became angry. We didn’t sleep and we were numb. We were jolted out of our ordinary lives of ‘normal’ expectation and predictability when our nightmare happened: our child…our loved one was taken from us by illness, or accident. They are gone through their own intention, by their hand or at the hand of someone else. The day our […]