Open to Hope Articles

Articles Home

The Spiritual Woman Arises From Daughter’s Death

Posted on October 30, 2020 - by Harriet Hodgson

The Spiritual Woman grew from life experience. On a snowy Friday night in February of 2007, my daughter died from the injuries she received in a car crash. Surgeons operated on her for 20 hours, but they were unable to save her life. On Sunday my father-in-law succumbed to pneumonia. His death was expected and, painful as it was, I could accept it. My daughter’s death brought me to my knees. Children are not supposed to die before their parents; it is against the laws of nature. Life is so unfair, I thought, and wondered if I would survive such tragedy. […]

Grieving Dads: Therapists and Other Resources

Posted on October 28, 2020 - by Kelly Farley

This is an excerpt from Grieving Dads: To the Brink and Back, which is available at Amazon. A grieving dad must face many hard truths after the death of a child, but for me, perhaps the most sobering one is the fact that I received more help from strangers than I did from people I knew. Maybe that’s why psychiatrists make so much money. After all, many of us are more comfortable talking about our problems to strangers than we are talking to friends or relatives. Alcoholics and gamblers, when you think about it, often find more real help in […]

Grieving Dads: Signs of Concern

Posted on October 26, 2020 - by Kelly Farley

This is an excerpt from Grieving Dads: To the Brink and Back, which is available at Amazon. At one point in the middle of the fog that encased me after Noah died, it occurred to me that I was dying right along with him and his big sister, Katie. And you know what? I welcomed the possibility. Although I wasn’t suicidal, by late 2006, I had truly reached rock bottom, and I simply didn’t care whether I lived or died. At this newest, lowest point in my journey through the passing of my children, my body was falling apart and […]

Grieving Dads: When a Child Dies Suddenly

Posted on October 24, 2020 - by Kelly Farley

This is an excerpt from Grieving Dads: To the Brink and Back, which is available at Amazon. If it were up to me, I probably would change the “five stages of grief” thing so it included a brand new category. I’d call it “Shock and Trauma,” because those are really the things that hit you first after the death of a child. “Shock,” minus the awe. And “trauma,” minus the blood. Leastwise, trauma minus your own blood. The experts call the first stage of grieving “denial,” and I can promise you that you will indeed experience denial when you go […]

Grieving Dads: The First Blow

Posted on October 22, 2020 - by Kelly Farley

This is an excerpt from Grieving Dads: To the Brink and Back, which is available at Amazon. Fathers aren’t supposed to grieve the same way that mothers do. Society has placed certain demands on men that preclude them from dealing with loss or disappointment by wearing emotion on their sleeves or even talking about it openly. For sure, men aren’t supposed to lose control. They are expected to toughen up, get back to work, take it like a man, and support their wives. And if they must cry, by all means they should do so in private. My own journey […]

Understanding the Reaction of Others

Posted on October 20, 2020 - by Bob Baugher

This is an excerpt from the book: Coping with Grief: A Guide for the Bereaved Survivor by Bob Baugher. You can order it at: www.bobbaugher.com Understanding the Reaction of Others A Feeling That Everyone Else is Carrying on with “Life as Usual” At this time in your life the world looks different: Artificial Frightening Callous Indifferent Cold Insensitive Dreary Lonely Dull Uncaring You may find yourself surprised and hurt that, despite the fact that your life has totally changed, the rest of the world appears to operate just as it always has. Every day you see people going about […]

Targets of Anger during Bereavement

Posted on October 16, 2020 - by Bob Baugher

This is an excerpt from the book: Understanding Anger during Bereavement by Bob Baugher, Carol Hankins & Gary Hankins. You can order it at: www.bobbaugher.com Targets of Anger during Bereavement Oneself When bereaved, one of the easiest targets for anger is oneself. See if any of the following types of self-directed anger relate to you: Not living up to expectations Part of being human is having expectations of yourself. Translated into self-talk, it often includes the words “should,” “must,” “have to,” and “need to.” During bereavement, it can sound like this: “I must be strong, I must do this right, I […]

Understanding Anger During Bereavement

Posted on October 13, 2020 - by Bob Baugher

This is an excerpt from the book: Understanding Anger during Bereavement by Bob Baugher, Carol Hankins & Gary Hankins. You can order it at: www.bobbaugher.com Components of Anger Expression One way to think of anger is in terms of the way it affects our body, mind, social life, and emotional state. Let’s look at each. The Physical Component 1. Verbal expressions • Swear words • Substituted swear words (“shoot, dang, darn, heck, son of a gun, cripes”) • Labeling words (“idiot, stupid, heartless, psycho, chicken, geek, nerd”) • Questions (“who . . . , what . . . , […]

Impact of Both Parents’ Deaths

Posted on October 12, 2020 - by Susan Berger

This is an excerpt from The Five Ways We Grieve, by Susan Berger, available at Barnes & Noble and Amazon: Although I have been an orphan for more than half of my life, only in the past five years have I reached another level of understanding about how the deaths of my parents affected me. This revelation has given me some sense of peace. And, while most people would assume I have “gotten over” my losses, I know that if being bereaved is being deprived of our loved ones, I remain in a state of bereavement. I still remember the […]

Creating a New Identity

Posted on October 10, 2020 - by Susan Berger

This is an excerpt from The Five Ways We Grieve, by Susan Berger, available at Barnes & Noble and Amazon: Confronting the reality of having to live a changed life requires that you accept that your view of the world will change. Your loved one is gone physically. Psychologically, your sense of identity, security and safety are gone. Socially, relationships with friends and family may change. Spiritually, you may feel abandoned by God and isolated from others. Not knowing who you are or where to go next, you are now faced with the most challenging task of all—creating a new identity […]