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Comforting Words to a Griever

Posted on January 3, 2020 - by Jane P. Williams

Sometimes, words spoken to individuals in grief do not make a difference; so many words have been said that they don’t pierce the thin protective layer that we develop while grieving. We may have heard so many words that they don’t even distract us from our grief. Additionally, words can miss the mark. Words such as “I know how you feel” or “it’s time to move on” not only miss the mark but may bring further injury or distress. Sometimes, the effects of words are related to the particular person or situation. For example, when my mother died two years […]

After Many Years, So Grateful

Posted on January 3, 2020 - by Judy Lipson

I stepped onto the ice after a hiatus of ten days, a substantial break for an adult figure skater to lack practice. Ice skating is my passion, a major focal point in my life, and a sport shared with my beloved sisters Margie and Jane. My legs were shaky as I tried to warm up on the ice and tears streamed down my face. Puzzled by the reaction upon my return to ice skating. I stroked around and got my legs back under me. Somehow, I muddled through my skating lesson and the remainder of the skating session. The interruption […]

Unanswered Emails

Posted on December 8, 2019 - by Carol Henderson

In the poem, “Note,” Ellie Schoenfeld writes that she is still sometimes surprised and angry that she receives no calls or emails from the dead. Death should be a place you go for a while and then you come back. Death is supposed to be like going to England. Eventually, you come home. “The trouble with the dead/ Is that they stay dead.” I used “Note” as a prompt in a writing workshop I co-lead every week in a medical center. Like everyone in the group, I never know where the prompt will take me on the page, what I’ll […]

Is Suffering Necessary?

Posted on November 26, 2019 - by Nina Impala

I have been thinking a lot about suffering, how much we suffer in a lifetime. There seems to be no way of escaping it. The short version for this? We are human. Looking back on my life and observing others’ lives, we suffer from the time we are born. The mother suffering during childbirth, the baby suffers as well, (although quickly forgotten for both). Birth has a happy ending and the suffering is quickly replaced by plenty of love. Being human is not an easy thing, I have learned from my work that although I am not ready to die, […]

How to Handle Grief When You Return to Work

Posted on November 26, 2019 - by Ralph Macey

“So it’s true, when all is said and done, grief is the price we pay for love.” – E.A. Bucchianeri, Brushstrokes of a Gadfly, One of the most difficult experiences in life, that almost everybody has gone through, is the death of a close person. Death is always too painful for the people who love and that’s why the grief becomes unbearable. The grief can hit a massive blow on one’s mental, emotional and physical health. The impact is so hard that a person can become sick, they can become addicted to drugs, and they may experience a severe […]

What Is Broken Heart Syndrome?

Posted on November 15, 2019 - by Peggy Bell

Research tells us that grief is one of the most stressful events we will ever experience in our lifetime. If you have ever lost a spouse, you understand the pain and probably didn’t need research to tell you this. The heartbreak that accompanies grief can bring on a variety of emotional symptoms. You may experience such things as sleep disturbances, brain fog, depression, and anxiety. You may have even heard it said that someone, “died of a broken heart.” When we are in the early, raw, and very painful stages of grief, it seems as though we could just die […]

Rejoice Even in Times of Sorrow

Posted on November 15, 2019 - by Jill Smoot

Some years ago I was given a candle for Christmas called, “ Fallen Snow.” When I lit it, the scent was nothing like the clean, crisp smell of real snow, but something better. The fragrance triggered something intangible within me. Somehow it reached into the memory of the happy years before our son’s death. The aroma was comforting, even joyful. I decided to try to find more of these candles. The search proved futile, and after many inquiries, I gave up. So I lit the candle sparingly, to make it last longer in my early morning quiet time. The lovely […]

Advent: A Visit in the Darkest Hours

Posted on November 12, 2019 - by Elizabeth Brady

During the season of Advent 2003, I was eight months pregnant with Mack. Iz had just turned six and was dressed as an angel having participated in the Christmas Eve children’s pageant at our church. She leaned against me drawing on a notepad, the gold tinsel from her halo tickled my nose, and we smiled at each other when Mack moved and she could feel him through my dress. “That is so weird, Mamma!” she giggled. Advent is the four weeks ahead of Christmas, which will be familiar to those from a liturgical church background. In the Episcopal church, the […]

‘Because of You’: Letter to a Daughter Who Has Died

Posted on November 10, 2019 - by Lisa Boehm

Dear Katie, Losing you was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to deal with. It broke me into a million pieces, but I knew you didn’t want me to stay in that dark and painful place. I decided that I wanted to live like you did. I want to live with passion and purpose and be the kind-hearted person that you were. You are my guide and my teacher and you have made me a better person. While not a day that goes by without some pain and sadness, you have have taught me more than I ever thought possible. […]

There’s a Kind of Crying You Do…

Posted on November 10, 2019 - by Susan Troccolo

There’s a kind of crying you do just once in awhile. It leaves your ribs aching, your eyes burning, and your heart so bruised that you realize you can’t live in that place of loss very long or you might break. The last time I cried like that was eleven years ago when I lost the battle between my oncologist, my husband and me: two against one. I was going to have to do chemo this second time around and I couldn’t get out of it. I came home and cried that same cry laying on the floor of our […]