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This is Your Life, Your Pain, and Your Story

Posted on November 10, 2019 - by Catherine McNulty

Hope. When I ask those who are grieving what they need most, they say “hope”. They want confidence that they can get through the process, that they won’t be miserable forever, and they will be able to be happy again, although this can be hard to imagine early in grief. After I lost my son, I went to a support group looking for hope. Losing him had shattered my world, and I didn’t know where to start. I didn’t know how to live without him in my life. I needed hope more than anything else. I forced myself out of […]

Choosing a Retirement Community is about Living and Dying

Posted on November 8, 2019 - by Harriet Hodgson

My husband and I have faced many health challenges. In May, I was in acute heart failure and had open heart surgery. Now I have a pig valve in my heart and it seems to be working efficiently. This is a welcome change because I am my disabled husband’s caregiver. Almost a year ago, he fell to the floor and fractured his pelvis in three places. A paid caregiver was with him at the time. Though I don’t know how the accident happened, my husband says he thought he was transferring from his bed to a shower chair, only the […]

No Outsourcing the ‘Why’ in Grief

Posted on October 31, 2019 - by Greg Adams

We are possessed by words. We are wordy creatures. We talk, write, text, sing, shout, and whisper words…all the time. We ponder what we said, what they said, and what we should say next time, and we narrate our lives with our internal words. We have “inside” and “outside” words, and we hope we can keep them straight. When we think about it, we realize the lie in the childhood saying: “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” How silly and how wrong. Words can become background noise, but they retain power. We remember […]

Life is NOT About Rainbows and Unicorns

Posted on October 31, 2019 - by Danita Ogandaga

Do you remember your life as a child in elementary school? The times when you would run on the playground with a kite in your hand and just run, with your eyes closed, with the wind? Although a tremendous amount of social and emotional development has taken place during our early childhood, there is much to still be learned about understanding our emotions. The life of a ten-year-old child can find ways parallel to that of an adult at times. When my daughter, Talmer-Marie, set out to write her second book, WOW! Life is Not About Rainbows and Unicorns: A […]

Give Yourself a G.I.F.T. This Holiday Season

Posted on October 31, 2019 - by Kerry Phillips

The holidays are a time of togetherness and family traditions. It’s even been dubbed the “most wonderful time of the year.” But for many in the widowed community, it can be filled with grief, loneliness, and reminders of our loss. Once solid relationships with family and friends may have frayed throughout the year because our grief was too much for them to handle and our in-laws, one of the last few connections to our spouse, might as well be called “outlaws.” If you’re fortunate enough to have been invited – and accepted – to spend the holidays with loved ones, […]

Recovery in Pieces

Posted on October 31, 2019 - by Tambre Leighn

It’s been many years, many miles, and many tears since the early, raw days of being widowed. The life I am living now is one I would never have recognized as mine when I walked down the aisle to take the hand of my soon to be husband. And, yet, it is of my own making. Completely designed and created by me with an incredible amount of effort, courage, and support from people who love me. Pieces from the Past Bits and pieces of the past are peppered throughout the life I am living without Gary. His artwork, a painting […]

How Will I Make it Through the Holidays? Five Ways to Try

Posted on October 20, 2019 - by Mary Joye

When the stores stock Halloween items on the shelves, it is reminder that the holidays are on the way. If you’re grieving, these images may further embed haunting memories. It has been almost four years since the untimely passing of my only sibling. As it happened over the holidays, this time of year is inevitably going to remind me of things I couldn’t expect. I could withdraw or retreat. You could, too. However, I’m a therapist and know that taking time off to heal is vastly different from withdrawing for long periods of time. Connectivity is essential for well-being. In […]

Emotional Recovery Through ‘Adjustability’

Posted on October 17, 2019 - by Ann Schiebert

In the living of a life, there are so many challenges that usually come from changing circumstances and loss. Sometimes, those who are suffering from “hard news,” find it almost impossible to dig themselves out of despair, grief and suffering. Adjustability and resilience often determine how one gets through difficult times. Adjustability is the ability to adapt to new surroundings and to acclimate to different circumstances. For example, if one moves to a new neighborhood, makes friends, and becomes a part of the new community, they can be described as “adjustable.” Resilience is the ability to recover quickly from difficulties […]

‘Pre-Grieving’: An Early On-Ramp to One’s Grief Journey

Posted on October 16, 2019 - by Herb Knoll

Loss of a spouse or a life-partner can occur suddenly as in the case of a drug overdose, an auto accident, or someone falling down a flight of stairs. Some spouses are lost to their families following a prolonged illness such as cancer, dementia, or Multiple Sclerosis, leaving the door open for survivors to experience anticipatory grief. As the founder of the Widowers Support Network, I have witnessed members frequently debate which scenario is more comfortable with the survivors. The jury is still out. Sudden death may deprive loved ones of the opportunity to say good-bye, to reconcile a long-standing […]

Trying to Make Sense of a Tragedy

Posted on October 4, 2019 - by Bob Baugher

You’ve heard it many times: News flash—A man was assaulted today. According to authorities, he was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Just look at the word “wrong” used twice in the sentence, and you can definitely see that the poor fellow seemed to somehow be at fault. Why do we humans come up with reasons to blame the victim? A term from Psychology may give us some insight into this common human failing: The Just World Hypothesis (JWH). It goes like this: People believe that it is a just world—what goes around comes around—what ye’ sow ye’ […]