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Death as Teacher

Posted on February 11, 2019 - by Greg Adams

Death is thought of in many ways. As an (or the) enemy or as a sad and tragic reality. Sometimes as an essential part of the natural cycle of life—“a time to be born and a time to die”—and sometimes as a thief. Grim Reaper, mystery, transition or rebirth. In the Harry Potter books, death is described as the next great adventure and as an old friend. In some situations, death is also thought of like an escape, a relief, or a rest. What about death as a teacher? “If death is the teacher, then it’s not a class […]

Surviving Widowhood: Check Your Track Record

Posted on February 10, 2019 - by Kerry Phillips

There is something about widowhood that brings you to your knees. I remember feeling trapped in an alternative universe trying to make sense of the chaos that surrounded me. The most troubling part was that the one person who was capable of steadying my boat – even as the sea of life raged around me – was the reason for my storm. In March 2012, I got the call no wife ever wants to hear. My husband was dead. We had been married for all of one year and six days. It didn’t seem fair that I’d spent so many […]

Healing Through the Decades After a Child Dies

Posted on February 10, 2019 - by Stacy Parker

I am a bereaved parent. For so long, that title has defined me and the person I am now. My first daughter was born in 1995 and had a rare condition called Alagille Syndrome. She was cognitively okay, but had serious issues with her heart, liver and kidneys. She lived for two years and two months; then she suddenly took a turn for the worse and died. She was my only child at the time. Even after all this time, not a day goes by that I don’t think about her. It’s been 22 years, and I have to say […]

Safety in the Silence

Posted on February 10, 2019 - by Nina Impala

Silence can be a very safe and sacred place when one is grieving. Recently, I spoke with a woman who had a very tragic sudden death in her life. She could barely speak as she tried to explain to me the things that people were saying to her. She was hurt and angry about the comments. These people are not trying to be mean; they just have no idea how you feel or what you are going through. When we see someone suffering, we want to fix it. We want that person happy again, back to their old self, living […]

The Wound Time Won’t Heal

Posted on February 10, 2019 - by Maria Kubitz

Time heals all wounds. We’ve all heard it. Sounds incredibly hopeful for someone who’s drowning in grief. Except when time doesn’t heal your wound. Not enough time. It’s been years since my 4-year-old daughter, Margareta, died. She died exactly 29 days after her fourth birthday. That means we had 1,489 glorious days to spend with her — the only daughter in a family full of boys. One of my grandmothers died at the age of 98. My other grandmother is well into her 90s. Based on those genes, I can probably expect to live until close to a century old. […]

A Daughter, a Mother and an Unexpected Passing: Darkness Followed by a Bright Moment

Posted on February 6, 2019 - by Emily Kil

My wife and I are owners of a company that provides what technically is known as biohazard remediation. We provide cleanup and sanitization services when people are dealing with the aftermath of challenging incidents at their homes. We work with people at some very difficult moments in their lives. Examples of how we help people at grim moments in their lives include: Aftermath of suicide Aftermath of a violent crime Discovery an unattended death A Sunday Morning Phone Call Because of the nature of our business, we are nearly always on call. On a Sunday morning, my family and I […]

Dropping into Memory

Posted on February 4, 2019 - by Mike Russell

Anniversaries come and go but some linger like the drops of rain hanging on the humming bird feeder outside. They don’t want to let go and so they hang on until the weather changes and dries them up or drop from their perch with the force of the wind. Anniversaries are important reminders of the past that are celebrated with the care that should be afforded them. But, they become less celebrated after someone leaves us and remind us what we miss and can not do anything about. When these days come up for me, I sometimes do not even […]

Sometimes Men Need Their Own Sandbox

Posted on February 4, 2019 - by Herb Knoll

Something was wrong. Men who followed the Facebook page, “Widowers Support Network,” just weren’t actively using it as a grief recovery tool. Then, in March of 2018, it hit me. Widowed men who sought out the services of my ministry, the Widowers Support Network wanted to express themselves and the grief they were confronted with following the death of their spouse or life partner, they just didn’t want to do it in front of (or online with) women. Dah! Makes sense to me. After all, few men enroll in grief groups and those who do rarely complete the entire […]

Jason Stout: Heroic Journey, Outward Bound

Posted on February 3, 2019 - by Heidi Horsley

The Executive Director of Open to Hope spoke with Jason Stout of Outward Bound during the 2015 Association of Death and Counseling Conference. When asked about how he got into this field, Stout responded, “I fell in love with the mission.” Personal growth via a challenge is something that everyone faces, including when losing a loved one. Horsley’s personal experience with Outward Bound was life changing, and she sees why Stout has been with the organization for 14 years. At 20, Horsley’s brother and cousin died in a car crash. Unsure of how she could move forward after such a […]

When a Sibling Dies by Suicide

Posted on January 31, 2019 - by Michelle L. Rusk

In the initial months and years after my sister Denise died by suicide (just two weeks before her 18th birthday), I sought out as much information on sibling loss as I could. Denise was my younger sister, the one I shared a room with for 10 years, the one who knew more about me and my goals and dreams than anyone else. When she walked in front of a train near our parents’ suburban Chicago home, I was 21 and working on a journalism degree at Ball State University in Indiana. My goal from first grade on was to be […]