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When the Loss is Not a Death: Interview with Dr Darcy Harris

Posted on January 2, 2019 - by Heidi Horsley

At the annual ADEC (Association of Death Education and Counseling), I spoke with Dr Darcy Harris about families and their struggles with infertility and the unacknowledged loss. Darcy originally got interested in this topic when she was doing research on couples going through infertility treatment. The language they were using was the language of grief and loss even though there wasn’t a death in the traditional sense. They were mourning the loss of baby they were hoping for but never appeared. That experience got Darcy thinking more about non-death related loss. There is still a lot of misunderstanding when it […]

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Trauma Treatments During Grief

Posted on December 30, 2018 - by Dr. Gloria and Dr. Heidi Horsley

Dr. Gloria Horsley and her daughter, Dr. Heidi Horsley, discuss trauma treatments in their 49th Open to Hope Foundation episode. Dr. Bessel van der Kolk of the Trauma Center at Justice Resource Institute and a professor at Boston University, and Dr. David Fajgenbaum of The Bone and Joint Surgery Clinic join Drs. Horsley to discuss how treating traumas is unique.  “Trauma overwhelms the human organism,” says Dr. van der Kolk. Trauma therapy is a means of treating the whole body, with the understanding that a person has been through something that is wholly overwhelming. When Dr. Gloria Horsley shared a […]

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Sisters: The Last of Three

Posted on December 27, 2018 - by Judy Lipson

  There is no one like a sister. Sisters are constant, champions, and competitors. Margie, Judy, Jane. I am a sister. I had those relationships. I had them for the years I had them. They are always with me. Three sisters. A trio, a triangle, a tripod, and a trilogy. Identified to be proud, secure, pointed in our corners of alterations and dissimilarities, our stories not what we dreamed but the sum of us, our genealogy, the Lipson girls. To discover after so 20 years the cards and letters from my cherished sisters in my basement felt like a most […]

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Sibling Loss: Interview with Stephen Stott

Posted on December 22, 2018 - by Heidi Horsley

At the annual ADEC (Association of Death Education and Counseling), I spoke with Stephen Stott about the loss of his sister and how eventually he found peace and hope with new friends and The Compassionate Friends organization. Stephen lost his sister in a car accident in 2002. His mother started going to The Compassionate Friends shortly after, but it wasn’t until a few years had passed before Stephen felt comfortable enough to go. The experience ended up being great, but it’s nervous going somewhere for the first time with no idea of what to expect. In the video below, Stephen […]

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Taking Care of Yourself Through the Grief Process: Interview with Dr. Howard R. Winokuer

Posted on December 18, 2018 - by Howard Winokuer

At the annual ADEC (Association of Death Education and Counseling), I spoke with Dr. Howard R. Winokuer about burnout after the death of a loved one and how we can take care of ourselves. In the video below, Howard shares advice on how to deal with burnout following the death of a loved one. Here are some key takeaways from the video: The first thing that comes to Howard’s mind, which is from his own experience dealing with the death of his parents, is that no matter how much you know about grief it doesn’t make the process any easier. […]

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Tips For Handling Grief During the Holidays

Posted on December 11, 2018 - by Gloria Horsley

Grief hits at the most unexpected times. However, the holidays are a known time when grief comes back like a weight, pushing down on those who have lost children, siblings, parents, and other loved ones. It can become even more difficult when that lost loved one really loved Christmas. However, there are some tips that can help you handle the holidays and find the joy in these celebrations for yourself, your family, and even for your lost loved one. Recently, in the above video, my daughter, Heidi, and Debbie Rambis, Executive Director of The Compassionate Friends, shared our own experiences […]

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The Vocabulary of Grief

Posted on December 11, 2018 - by Gloria Horsley

When you’ve lost a child, it can sometimes feel like you’re speaking a different language than everyone else. People ask vague questions like “How are you doing?” or “Is there anything I can do to help?” They mean well, but people often work hard to avoid acknowledging the elephant in the room. Terms like loss and death are hard for most of us to say, and they create an awkward catch-22. Not acknowledging a deep loss a person is despairing over can appear insensitive, but mentioning it — making it real again — can introduce a melancholy tone to a […]

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Lessons From One Who Has Helped Many Pass Away

Posted on December 8, 2018 - by Nina Impala

Let’s talk about the mysteries of death, because in death there always seems to be so many unanswered questions.  I know with my own mom, who has been gone eight years now, the one question still remains: Why did she have to die? Breast cancer took her life. She was too young, a vibrant, good-hearted woman. It still is a mystery to me. People often ask me questions about whether their loved one is OK, whether they can see us, feel us, suffer or be scared. They want to know: How long does it take to reach heaven? Was someone there […]

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Holiday Season: A Contrast of Bright Lights and Inner Darkness

Posted on December 7, 2018 - by Annah Elizabeth

  ‘Tis the season, and let’s face it, Neighbor, most major events are a mixed bag of suffering and celebration. Think about the anxiety, the exhaustion, as well as the emotional and time investments you make in everything from prom or wedding dress shopping to all occasions related to gift-giving. If I’m to be totally honest, as much as I LOVE celebrating and gift giving, I do on occasion dread trying to juggle the added errands and details in with my day-to-day demands. I don’t know about you, but the way I minimize stress on my schedule, my sanity, and […]

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Revelations Along the Grief Ride

Posted on December 5, 2018 - by Judy Lipson

The amusement park rides illustrate the trajectory of revelation and power of change. Every ride makes us feel different sensations, from the slow to the chilling speed of the roller coaster to the flowing music as the vibrant horses of the merry-go- round move up and down. The smiles, excitement, and thrill, to the disappointment, anguish and torment at not winning a game or at the completion of the ride and wanting to go again and again. My revelations since my discovery and efforts on grief after years of abandonment feel like I am at the amusement park again with […]

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