Alice Wisler

After the death of her son, Daniel, in 1997, Alice J. Wisler claims writing saved her. Her newest book, Life at Daniel's Place: How The Cemetery Became a Sanctuary of Discovery and Gratitude, focuses on the value of writing, remembrance, and faith. Alice gives Writing the Heartache workshops across the country. Through her organization, Daniel's House Publications, she designs and sells comfort cards/remembrance cards, and at her Carved By Heart imprint, carves personalized remembrance plaques. When she isn't writing or speaking, she is promoting her novels---Rain Song, How Sweet It Is, Hatteras Girl, A Wedding Invitation, Still Life in Shadows, and Under the Silk Hibiscus. Her devotional, Getting Out of Bed in the Morning, offers comfort and purpose for those dealing with grief and loss. Her cookbooks of memory---Down the Cereal Aisle, Memories Around the Table, and Slices of Sunlight, contain stories of food and memories of children who have died. Alice lives in Durham, NC, with her husband, Carl, and sweet boxer. ~~^~^~~ To learn more about Alice, visit her website: https://alicewisler.com/ and Patchwork Quilt Blog: https://alicewisler.blogspot.com/

Articles:

Surviving the Holidays After the Death of a Child

Surviving the Holidays After the Death of a Child That holiday-pang hit my stomach the first October after Daniel died. Greeting me at an arts and craft shop were gold and silver stockings, a Christmas tree draped with turquoise balls and a wreath of pinecones and red berries. What was this? And was “Santa Claus Is Coming To Town” playing as well? It was only October. I had anticipated that Christmas and the holidays would be tough. In fact, I’d wake on those cold mornings after Daniel died in February and be grateful that it was still months until his […]

Happy New Year is Tough on Bereaved Parents

When the ball at Times Square drops, champagne corks pop. Ample hugs and kisses are dispensed all around. A new year, new hope, new ventures, new possibilities. Wow, it’s all so exciting! However, for the parent who has lost a child in the previous year, the dawning of a new calendar year can be rough. In fact, most of the time, it is. The bereaved parent can feel isolated, lonely, and sorrowful while everyone else is celebrating. Daniel died at age four in February 1997 and entering 1998 was hard. My mind was filled with questions like: What am […]

Lessons from Wild Boy

Lessons from Wild Boy He was a toddler who played with plastic dinosaurs, Tonka trucks, and dirt. His older sister made me feel like an accomplished mama because whenever I reminded her not to touch the house plant, she would obey. “No, no,” she’d say, standing yards from the cascading ivy. Wild Boy didn’t care. Not only did he knock the plant stand down, but he watched the wet soil seep into the carpet. Then he jumped on all four into the mess, even gnawing a leaf to see how it tasted. If there was a puddle on an afternoon […]

This Could Save Your Life: Writing Through Tragedy

“It is, in the end, the saving of lives we writers are about. We do it because we care. We care because we know this: the life we save is our own.” ~ Alice Walker Days before my four-year-old son’s anticipated death, a nurse gave me a blue-flowered journal. After the memorial service, the crisp white pages became stained with my pain. I filled each lined surface. When I got to the last page, my pain was still strong, so I bought a notebook. And another. In the evenings, I unleashed the bottled feelings I’d accumulated throughout each day. My […]

Writing the Gratitude!

When Daniel died, I wanted more. More smiles, more birthdays, more words, more experiences. Like any mom, I wanted my child to have a full and healthy life. When Daniel breathed his last, all I had was four years and five months and eight days. He hadn’t made it to five; he hadn’t even made it to four-and-a-half. We had more sunsets to watch, more waves to play in, more watermelon to drip down our faces. I felt cheated. My journal reflected my anguish and sorrow. I wrote day after day about how unfair this all was—for me, for my […]

A Mama Finds Memories in a Duplo Box

In my closet sits one duplo box filled with handwritten cards. The cards were for my little boy Daniel. The boy is now gone, but the cards written to him still remain. When we moved from the house where Daniel lived, Daniel didn’t get to go with us. But the yellow duplo box with cards did. A few of the cards he’d received were after hs first surgery before we knew the lump in his neck was cancer. Most were sent to him during the months he was treated at UNC-Hospitals. The duplo box had been where he’d stored all […]

How the Graveyard Became a Place of Peace

There’s the joke about the cemetery. “How many dead people are in there?” The answer: “All of them.” Or, “People are dying to get in there.” It brought a smile to my lips the first time a ten-year-old told me. But after my son died, I was wondering why there are so many jokes about death and being dead. “We joke about what we fear,” Daniel’s pediatric oncologist at UNC-Chapel Hill’s Hospital told me. Well, I don’t fear the cemetery anymore. The movies and TV shows, especially around Halloween, like to depict the graveyard as a scary place with ghosts […]

A Grateful Heart Dances: Viewing a Daughter’s Loss

When my four-year-old son Daniel died, I grieved my own loss, and for my other children. My daughter Rachel was only six at the time. With her brother’s death, she lost her best friend. As I was thrown into the pit of grief, I looked at this small girl and my spirit was crushed. Her life is over. She’ll never have a chance to success or happiness, I thought. The years went by, Rachel grew older, and the harsh raw emotions of losing Daniel subsided. Rachel was in high school and looking forward to college. The day she wanted a […]

The Party I Never Wanted to Attend

Have you ever not been invited to a party? Everyone you know gets an invitation. You wait for yours. It never arrives. The day of the party comes and goes. No one even called at the last minute to say, “Oh, so sorry. I’m not sure what happened to your invitation, but please come.” You think of all at the party, having fun without you. You don’t feel as lovely or as important or loved. You second-guess your friendships. You wonder if it is your fault for not being the friend you thought you were. On the other hand, have […]

Carrying Old Memories into a New Year

Christmas has ended, and the living room still has that unwrapped look. With the festivities now part of future memories, I anticipate the next hurdle: the start of a new year. The TV commercials romanticize champagne toasts illuminated by glowing candles. People make resolutions, hopeful that this brand-new unblemished year will be the one that fuels their successes. For the parent who has lost a child to death, a new year can be daunting. The first New Year’s Day after my son Daniel’s death was scary. I wanted to hold onto 1997. Although it was the year he’d lost his battle […]

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