Alice Wisler

After the death of her son, Daniel, in 1997, Alice J. Wisler claims writing saved her. Her newest book, Life at Daniel's Place: How The Cemetery Became a Sanctuary of Discovery and Gratitude, focuses on the value of writing, remembrance, and faith. Alice gives Writing the Heartache workshops across the country. Through her organization, Daniel's House Publications, she designs and sells comfort cards/remembrance cards, and at her Carved By Heart imprint, carves personalized remembrance plaques. When she isn't writing or speaking, she is promoting her novels---Rain Song, How Sweet It Is, Hatteras Girl, A Wedding Invitation, Still Life in Shadows, and Under the Silk Hibiscus. Her devotional, Getting Out of Bed in the Morning, offers comfort and purpose for those dealing with grief and loss. Her cookbooks of memory---Down the Cereal Aisle, Memories Around the Table, and Slices of Sunlight, contain stories of food and memories of children who have died. Alice lives in Durham, NC, with her husband, Carl, and sweet boxer. ~~^~^~~ To learn more about Alice, visit her website: https://alicewisler.com/ and Patchwork Quilt Blog: https://alicewisler.blogspot.com/

Articles:

Getting on With Life—What Does It Mean?

Of all the statements and spiritual platitudes quoted to me since my son, Daniel’s, death the phrase that I hear most frequent makes me squirm the most. “You have got to get on with your life.” Recently, I quit squirming long enough to ponder the meaning behind this phrase that is usually said to the bereaved in the form of a command. Exactly what does this phrase mean? What are people implying when they say it? I was pregnant when Daniel died and three months later, I gave birth to a baby girl. Wasn’t that getting on with my life? […]

Not a Flower

There was a day when the sun ceased to shine. You may have missed it; it didn’t make the headlines of any national paper. February 2, 1997, to most, was only Groundhog Day. For me, it was nothing as trite as whether the furry creature did or did not see his shadow. Forget the promise of spring, what did it matter now? My life as I dreamed it stopped when my four-year-old laid lifeless in my arms. How I remember those early months after his death. I wanted to be like my Victorian ancestors and wear black, even a veil. […]

Understanding the Griever: How Others Can Help

When I invited Martha to the gathering at my house, she accepted the invitation cheerfully. Martha was new to the area and so I thought this small potluck I was hosting would be a chance for her to get to know other women in our town. Martha stuck it out till the end, softly responding to each person’s questions about where she had moved from and the details involving her current job. It was not until the last guest left that night that she was able to utter her fears, “Oh, Alice, maybe I shouldn’t have come.” Then she fell […]

I Am Not Cheese

Recently I heard from one of my high school classmates. He now lives with his family in Nepal. Going to an international school in Japan–where I grew up—-many of my now forty-something-years-old schoolmates lead exotic lives. You can find them scattered over the world doing really interesting things. And then there I am, settled comfortably after a season of traveling, safe now in North Carolina. My friend commented (which was quite nice) on reading in the high school alumni newsletter that my son had died. He was so sorry and went on to say he had just returned from his […]

Celebrities Get Attention, But Were They Loved?

When I heard of Michael Jackson’s death, I felt a wave of confused sadness. Immediately, I was flooded with memories of hearing his music in Japan, where I was raised. The teenie-bopper magazines sent to us from the U.S. held photos and stories about his life as one of the Jackson Five. My friend Josephine and I absorbed these when we had sleepovers. Years later, I watched his “Thriller” video over and over, captivated by his talent. In the mid-80s, when I worked at a refugee camp in The Philippines, the Vietnamese kids would blast his music through a cassette […]

Bereaved Eyes

“…Eyes — the windows to our soul…” She seemed so small and frail in the graduation party atmosphere. And yet this was her granddaughter’s party–a gathering of family and friends amid the festive tiki lights and streamers of tiny lanterns. High school had commenced for her granddaughter and in the late summer the youth would be ready to head out to the exciting world of college. Friends bringing congratulatory gifts were decorated in smiles and small talk. A grandmother deserved to be proud and happy at a time like this. Perhaps few outside of the immediate family could see what […]

Educating Merna

A few excruciating days after my four-year-old son Daniel died, I got a phone call from Merna, an elderly woman in our church. “Just think,” she said, “God needed another flower in his garden and he chose Daniel.” I felt something sour in the pit of my stomach and my swollen eyes widened in disbelief. Too numb to say a word, I let her continue, telling me I’d be fine and to carry on with my life and family. By the time I got off the phone, anger had risen within me. “God needed another flower!” a fellow-bereaved mother spat […]

Let’s Stop Judging Others’ Pain

By Alice J. Wisler “Never criticize a man unless you have walked a mile in his shoes.” Many of us repeat this line, most likely when we have been criticized as opposed to when we are the ones with a differing opinion. Years after my four-year-old son died, I received an invitation that got under my skin. Missing my son, a little under the weather, and experiencing the realities of a damaged engine of our Lincoln Sable, I was not at my best. So I felt I had nothing left within me to cushion my feelings when a fellow bereaved […]

Opening Grief as a Gift

By Alice J. Wisler — Some view grief as a dirty word. It’s associated with pain, hardship, suffering, endless days of crying and never seeing the sun. It’s hard – tough on the body, spirit and mind. No one wants to have to go through grief. All hope to avoid it. The Oxford Dictionary defines “grief” as the media does – intense mourning. I know that’s true because when Daniel first died, the agonizing pain was intense. To walk into a store was painful. Seeing my surviving children and knowing that from now on Daniel would not be with us […]

Scared to Death of Dying and Denying Grief

Open to Hope is an online community offering inspirational stories of loss, hope and recovery. We believe hope is the bridge between loss and recovery.