Carol O'Dell

Carol D. O'Dell's gripping memoir MOTHERING MOTHER, (April 1, 2007 by Kunati Publishing) is for the "sandwich" generation and overflows with humor, grace and much needed honesty. Written with wit and sensitivity, Mothering Mother offers insight on how to not only survive but thrive the challenges of caring for others while keeping your life, heart, and dreams intact. Carol is an inspirational speaker and instructor focusing on caregiving, spirituality and adoption issues. She has been featured on numerous television, radio and magazine and podcast programs including WEDU/PBS, Artist First Radio, "Coping with Caregiving" national radio, Women's Digest and Mature Matters Publications. Her fiction and nonfiction work has appeared in numerous publications including Atlanta Magazine, Southern Revival, MARGIN, and AIM, America's Intercultural Magazine Carol appeared on the radio show "Healing the Grieving Heart" with Dr. Gloria & Dr. Heidi Horsley to discuss "Mothering Mother: A Daughter's Humorous and Heartbreaking Memoir." To hear Carol being interviewed on this show, click on the following link: www.voiceamericapd.com/health/010157/horsley031308.mp3

Articles:

Are You Dreading the Death Date of a Loved One?

No matter how much you try not to think about it, you dread the day your loved one died. It’s especially hard, those first couple of anniversaries. Perhaps you spent years caregiving and you’re dealing with the void in your life. Perhaps it was sudden and you feel as if the bottom fell out of your life. It feels as if you’re going to get physically ill, dreading this day. Even years later, a dear friend of mine wonders what’s wrong with her come late May, early June. I remind her that’s when her father died. He commited suicide and […]

Does Caregiving Stress Your Marriage? Grow Closer in Your Caregiving Years

Is caregiving hard on a marriage? It can be. But it can also be a wake-up call. Sometimes our marriage can be defined by what we’ve survived. Yes, caregiving was stressul on marriage–at times. I wrote in my book, Mothering Mother that I felt like I was a giant ice cream milkshake and each of my family member had a straw–and they were all sucking on that straw trying to get more of me. At times, one would pick up the glass and tap the side, or another would dig deep with the spoon trying to get the last drop. […]

When Death Comes as a Shock…

Actress Natasha Richardson died yesterday–from a head injury. She fell on the bunny slopes while skiing with her son in Canada. She was 45. Her death comes as a shock to her family. As hard as it is to be a caregiver and watch someone you love die slowly, it’s even more heartbreaking to have your time cut short. Her husband, Liam Neeson, their children, and all her family members are facing hard times. Consoling one another when you don’t understand yourself. The world just doesn’t make sense. You aren’t supposed to die at 45. You aren’t supposed to die from just falling down. […]

How to Talk To Your Doctor: Getting What You Want and Need, for Caregivers and Families

Most of us pine for the days when we had home town doc who delivered us, knows everything about us–and cared that we stay alive. Not that most ever had that–but it sure sounds good, doesn’t it? As a caregiver to my mom who had Parkinson’s, heart disease, and Alzheimer’s, trust me, I’ve spent a whole lot of time in the doctor’s offices. I’ve gone round and round trying to get them to understand not only what my mom needed, but what I could handle. I did a little research on-line to find out various ways to find a good doctor, and […]

Creating Memorial Services with Heart

By Carol O’Dell Creating a meaningful memorial service for your loved one is cathartic, and you don’t have to wait until your loved one passes to begin to think about what they — and you — want and need. It’s a part of caregiving you’d rather not think about, but it’s the last thing you can do to honor their wishes and gather everyone around to reminisce, consol each other, and share precious memories. Planning funerals and/or memorial services takes time, and you’d rather spend those last few weeks and days your loved one has on earth at their side. […]

Caregiver’s Support Group

I have to admit that I didn’t attend a caregiver support group while I was caring for my mom. Not everyone is the “group” type. I started full time caregiving back in 1998 and honestly, I didn’t even know caregiving support groups existed. I had decided that I wasn’t going to go and talk about my mother! Yeah, I’m stubborn. By the time I figured out my way in “caregiving land,” my mom was pretty far along. It’s not that I didn’t need a support group. I’m sure my friends were sick of my griping and whining. But honestly, what little energy […]

Creating Memorial Services with Heart, Part of the Caregiving Journey

Creating a meaningful memorial service for your loved one is cathartic, and you don’t have to wait until your loved one passes to begin to think about what they–and you–want and need. It’s a part of caregiving you’d rather not thnk about, but it’s the last thing you can do to honor their wishes and gather everyone around to reminisce, consol each other, and share precious memories. Planning funerals and/or memorial services takes time, and you’d rather spend those last few weeks and days your loved one has on earth at their side. You may find that planning your loved one’s memorial […]

Alzheimer’s and Violence, “I Don’t Want Anyone to Know How Bad It Is”

Have you stopped having people come into your home because you don’t want them to see your dad/husband or wife “that way?” Are you hiding how awful it really is? Alzheimer’s, Lewy Body, dementia and other neurological based diseases affect the brain in different ways. Some individuals become docile, too docile. They stop talking, and pretty much stop moving. For others, Alzheimer’s turns them into a fidget machine. They pace incessantly, talk, babble, rant, need next to no sleep, and when forced to sit, their knee jiggles non-stop. Others are paranoid and will lash out at anyone who tries to touch them–it’s as […]

Move Over Michelle, Mama’s in the House: The Obamas Are a Multigenerational Family

Move over, Michelle Obama, cause Mama’s in the house. That’s right, Michelle Obama’s mother is moving into the White House. Multigenerational families aren’t new, and now that the Obama family joins the rank, perhaps it will be considered a viable living option, and one that’s particularly appealing in these economically challenged times. People used to live together under one roof out of necessity–to run the farm, to continue the family business. In fact, it’s on the rise. More than 3.6 million parents lived with adult children in 2007, according to census data. That number is up 67 percent from 2000. […]

Am I Holding Onto the Past? Why We Keep the Clothes of Those We Love

I’ve had my Daddy’s suede jacket hanging in my closet since 1982, the year he died. I didn’t know I’d be a keeper, but I guess I am. It’s brick-red suede, and has completely worn through at the edge of the sleeves. It no longer smells of him, but I keep it. I remember when I was a child, riding with him to Sears on Saturday morning just to buy salted peanuts and look at the tools in the tool department. He wore that jacket. I was adopted and maybe that makes me more sentimental, I don’t know, but keeping my […]

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