Carla Vagnini

I live outside Washington, DC with my husband Paul and two cats. I have been in public service for almost half of my life. I treasure spending time with my husband, family (both near and far) and two cats. I truly believe that everything happens for a reason and share this belief with my loved ones...that every day is a gift, never go to bed angry with the ones you love and life is just too short. After helping family members through the devastating loss of their loved ones, I took the time write this short book. While dealing with the shock and devastation of death after an unexpected passing or a lingering cruel illness, my husband and I learned valuable information and insights with each experience that I wanted to sharing with others. I found that the help and support provided after the funeral, when all of the family and friends had returned to their homes, was equally as critical as the support provided both during the illnesses and at the funeral. I learned that no matter how much time you might have to “prepare”, there are just too many issues to address and calls to make. All of which are far too many for the grieving loved one to manage on their own. I hopes that when you are faced with providing support to a loved one who has sadly experienced their own devastating loss that the information in my book serves as a guide to help you weather the storm with a little more ease and comfort.

Articles:

When the Caregiver Becomes the Patient

I wanted to share my recent experience transforming from caregiver to patient. Until Jan. 11, 2018, I’ve been my father’s primary caregiver since his wife passed away in Nov. 2014. My husband has been helping with my father, and coming to doctor’s appointments developed a wonderful relationship with my dad. I’ve tried to manage everything, including shopping, doing the laundry he’d prefer I do and handling all matters associated with his care at his assisted living facility. I had put off the elective surgery on my foot and decided to finally get it over with. Being off my feet is […]

‘How Can I Help if I Don’t Know You’re Hurting?’

As a caregiver of a parent with Alzheimer’s dementia, I struggle with myself when I find out my father has been hurting and won’t tell me about it. My husband and I are caregivers for my father who will be turning 80 next year. Whenever we’re with him, we focus on the positive and talk about the memories he recounts, even those that were from before I was born. Most recently after seeing a significant weight loss in my father, I noticed he was chewing his food differently. I didn’t say anything but knew he didn’t want to go back […]

Suffering a Loss Yet to Come

My father’s wife of 30 years passed away in November 2014. Prior to her passing, he was her caretaker in all senses of the word, even to the extent that he was neglecting himself. We knew while he was taking care of her that something was happening with his cognition, but he was a wonderful, loving caretaker and soldiered on, only focusing on her. After she passed away and his mission was over, he seemed so lost in loneliness and alone in his thoughts. Thankfully, he wanted to move 700 miles from Alabama to Virginia near me and my husband. […]

Life-Work Balance and a Parent with Dementia

I reflect at 3am not being able to sleep, remembering it was just over one year ago since my husband Paul and I moved my father and his two cats 700 miles north to live near us. We were traveling and preparing for his move during the week of our 20th anniversary. Not what we’d planned in 2015 for such a wonderful occasion but very much needed. Our anniversary is tomorrow and we have plans to spend the day together and celebrate our love, friendship and growing stronger together through all of the adversity we’ve faced of the past few […]

Mother’s Day Memories

Let me just start by saying it was a wonderful Mother’s Day surprise to see that the Open to Hope Foundation wanted me to write articles for them! It made getting up at 4am today to catch my 5am bus all worth it. My Mother’s Day was not one of the best, and therefore I told my husband I officially claim a “do-over”. You see, my husband and I were serving wine at a winery in Northern Virginia. It was a beautiful day, after what seemed like weeks of rain, and the winery had a great Mother’s Day event planned. […]

Open to Hope is an online community offering inspirational stories of loss, hope and recovery. We believe hope is the bridge between loss and recovery.