Cathy Seehuetter

Cathy Seehuetter began her journey with grief when her 15-year-old daughter, Nina, was killed in a drunk-driver accident in 1995. Since Nina’s death, she has been active with The Compassionate Friends and is presently serving her second term on the National Board of Directors. She has been published in Chicken Soup for the Christian Family Soul, as well as grief magazines, We Need Not Walk Alone and Living with Loss. She is also a contributor to the popular forum, “The Bulletin Board” in the St. Paul Pioneer Press. She has given workshops at The Compassionate Friends national conferences on “Journaling and Writing as a Healing Tool.” Cathy lives in Minnesota with her husband and has three surviving children and four grandchildren. Cathy was a guest on the radio show Healing the Grieving Heart, discussing Sudden Death/Vehicular with Dr. Gloria and Dr. Heidi Horsley. To hear this show, go to the following link: https://www.voiceamerica.com/episode/44315/sudden-death-vehicular

Articles:

Getting Through Halloween after Child’s Death

Getting Through Halloween after Child’s Death On the evening I type this, the nip in the October air is a reminder that the major holidays are just around the corner. Halloween decorations have been in the stores since July and Christmas décor even as early as August. For those of us who are bereaved parents, siblings and/or grandparents this means the sooner they are “in our face” the longer we have the constant reminders that we will be facing the holidays without our child. Whether it is your first Halloween following your child’s death or years down the road, such […]

Valentine’s Day Message: It Does Get Better

Valentine’s Day 1995: I had just sat down at my desk in my home office for a busy day work-wise when the phone rang. It was Nina calling me from Park High School. “Mom, you have to help me. I need to have something for Chris (her new boyfriend) for Valentine’s Day. I am pretty sure that he got me something and I really want to get him something too.” Furthermore, she knew exactly what she wanted: glow in the dark stars, like the ones she had on her bedroom ceiling. The place to find them was at Spencer’s Gifts […]

Poem: Hands

I wrote this poem for Alice Wisler’s online writing workshop, “Writing the Heartache”. We were to take something that was our child’s and write a poem about it. I chose a hand print of my precious daughter, Nina’. She was two years old. Nina died at the hands of a drunk driver when she was 15 1/2 years old. Hands Little handprints in a frame, Flashback of memories days long gone, yet still so fresh in my mind as if only yesterday. Tiny hand of my baby girl, Fingers curled around my own, Only a reflex to some, But not in […]

The Storms of Grief

I sometimes feel like my mood is reflected in the weather, albeit differently now. Before Nina died, I used to dread those dreary cloudy days and felt my best when it was warm and the sun shone brightly. Physically and mentally, I could feel the difference. However, in the early years after Nina died, my outlook flip-flopped. I was better able to tolerate those days where the sky turned a lackluster shade of gray. I felt in tune to the drabness of the skies, as it went along with the darkness in my heart and soul. I welcomed it. Luminously […]

Valentine’s Day Reminder

Beginning of School Reminds Mom of Daughter who Died

September, the advent of fall, seems almost like a reprieve from the difficult summer months that bring with it concentration on family activities. Maybe you had in previous years rented a cabin on the lake or camped, held 4th of July picnics, days at the beach, and trips to the fair. But with the death of your child, summer can be an excruciating time of year. Therefore, with August’s demise, September is almost a breath of fresh air. There are no major holidays to contend with. Granted, the “Big 4” is on the horizon, but still far enough away not […]

Yes, You Will Laugh Again

At the opening ceremony of TCF’s National Conference held in 2003, Maria Housden, author of the marvelous book, Hannah’s Gift, was the featured speaker. She began by telling how that morning she had conversed with a man she met on the elevator. When he asked her why she was staying in Atlanta she told him that she was there as a speaker for The Compassionate Friends, a organization offering support and hope for parents, siblings and grandparents who had suffered the death of a child. As oftentimes happens when hearing what TCF is, the man suddenly was at a loss […]

Bent But Not Broken After the Loss of a Child

The beautiful flowering tree planted in Nina’s memory on Memorial Day a year short of a decade ago (by her favorite cousins) looked so regal and smelled so delicious yesterday. I like to think it flowers this time of year as a special birthday message from my “baby girl”. However, with the vicious storm we had last evening, I watched the soft white petals drift and swirl to the ground, as if a deluge of tears from a breaking heart. Today, it sits almost bare – a few petals still hanging on for dear life, unable to let go, desperate […]

We Can Survive the Grief of Child-Loss

I vividly remember April 19, 1995. My daughter Nina had heard on the news that something horrible had just occurred in Oklahoma City. She told me that a federal office building had been bombed, killing many people, many of them very young children. As the scene replayed itself on every station, Nina and I knelt in front of the television. We held hands and were motionless and hushed except for the sound of our occasional choking sobs. As we watched the horrific scene and the victim’s loved ones in their shock and grief, I distinctly remember my reaction. After saying a […]

Mother’s Day, Before and After

While sorting through boxes and bags, it is not unusual for me to find something unexpected. It happened just the other day. Shifting through a box, I came across a wrinkled, somewhat yellowed piece of lined school paper. I carefully unfolded it only to find a drawing of a stick-mom and stick-daughter standing along side a mammoth daisy. The mom and little girl were holding hands with huge lopsided grins on their faces. In her little girl just-learning-to-print handwriting were the words, “Happy Mother’s Day, Mommy. I love you, Kristina.” Even six years after Kristina’s death, little gifts such as […]

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