David Roberts

David J. Roberts, LMSW, became a parent who experienced the death of a child, when his daughter Jeannine died of cancer on 3/1/03 at the age of 18. He is a retired addiction professional and an adjunct professor in the psychology and psychology child-life departments at Utica University in Utica, New York. Dave is a featured speaker, workshop facilitator and coach for Aspire Place, LLC. Dave has also been a past national workshop facilitator for The Compassionate Friends and a past national workshop facilitator and keynote speaker for The Bereaved Parents of the USA. Dave also co-presented a workshop titled “Helping Faculty After Traumatic Loss” for the Parkland, Florida community in May of 2018,in the aftermath of the mass shootings at Stoneman Douglas High School. Dave was also a keynote speaker at The Tom Coughlin Jay Fund Remembrance Weekend during in June of 2019 in Ponte Vedra, Florida .Dave has also done numerous workshops at the local and regional levels related to transformation from grief and loss. He is the co-author with Reverend Patty Furino of the recently published book "When The Psychology Professor Met The Minister" which is available for purchase on Amazon. For more information about their book,please go to: https://psychologyprofessorandminister.com/ Dave has been a past HuffPost contributor and has also published articles with the Open to Hope Foundation, The Grief Toolbox, Recovering the Self Journal, Mindfulness and Grief, and Thrive Global. He is currently a regular contributor to Medium. One of Dave's articles, My Daughter is Never Far Away, can also be found in Open to Hope: Inspirational Stories of Healing and Loss. Excerpts from Dave's article for The Open to Hope Foundation, called The Broken Places were featured in the Paraclete Press DVD video, Grieving the Sudden Death of a Loved One. He has appeared on numerous radio and internet broadcasts and Open to Hope Television. Dave was also part of a panel in 2016 for the BBC Podcast, World Have Your Say, with other grief experts, discussing the death of Carrie Fisher. Dave’s website: www.bootsyandangel.com is devoted to providing support and resources for individuals experiencing loss.

Articles:

Reaching The Summit In Our Grief Journeys: Teachings From Bald Mountain

Trying Something New It has been said that you can’t teach an old dog new tricks. I acknowledge that I am getting older (my receding hairline and shades of gray that accent my beard and hair, is evidence of that), but I remain teachable as well as open to different experiences. In fact as I become older, I am more anxious to do things that I have never done previously in my life. My desire to do new things intensified in the later phase of grief following the death of my 18-year-old daughter Jeannine in 2003. My desire for new […]

Lessons About Human Nature and Grief From My Work With Chemically Dependent Individuals

I am thankful for the brilliant teachings contained in “The Afterlife of Billy Fingers” by Annie Kagan. For me, Billy’s teachings are not just about life, death and the afterlife; they are about recognizing that every life has value, regardless of what is seen on the surface. With that being said, I am dedicating this piece to all of the chemically dependent individuals whose stories touched my life during my human services career and helped me to develop rich insights about grief and loss. The Truth Behind The Cover There is a tried and tested truth that reads: “You can’t […]

The Search For Spirit During Our Grief Journeys

A Brand New World I don’t operate under the same rules or beliefs that I did over ten years ago. I don’t think I would have thrived today if I did not make a conscious effort to look at the world differently . It took a catastrophic event to challenge my perspective on life and to eventually transform my perspective. It would be desirable for transformation to occur during times when life was treating us well. However, when things are going smoothly, there is no motivation to change our perspective. It is usually a severe shock to our system that […]

Affirming Our Grief Experiences

A Balancing Act I was employed as a counselor for 27 years in the chemical dependency field, and several of my treatment approaches were based on a cognitive model of therapy. When any therapist deals with cognition as it relates to chemical dependency, they are usually addressing automatic negative thoughts that have contributed to continued relapse and otherwise destructive behavior. One of the suggested cognitive approaches to counteract negative thinking is the use of affirmations. Affirmations are positive self– statements that are consciously introduced into a person’s stream of consciousness. The belief is that if an individual uses affirmations consistently, that […]

Personal Growth Following a Loss: One Parent’s Story

Providence blinked facing the sun Where are we left to carry on “Until the Day is Done”, by R.E.M Providence Blinked According to Dictionary.com, providence is defined as, among other things, the foreseeing care and guidance of nature over the creatures of the earth. Until May of 2002, I would have accepted that definition without reservation. I felt protected and maybe even immune from the tragedy that affected other individuals in society. Arrogance didn’t drive this perception; I just never allowed my mind to go to the deep, dark places where others already had been. However, providence did blink (mightily, I might […]

A Bike Ride With My Father: His Father’s Day Gift to Me

Bicycle bicycle bicycle I want to ride my bicycle bicycle bicycle I want to ride my bicycle I want to ride my bike I want to ride my bicycle I want to ride it where I like From the Song: Bicycle Race, by Queen “I Have A Thought” At 9:00 am today (6/15/13), I received a text message from my dear friend from Long Island, Patty Furino. In addition to being one of my closest friends, Patty is one of my most influential spiritual mentors and witnesses on the journey I have embraced following the death of my 18-year-old […]

The Shadow of My Father

The following article was originally published by The Grief Toolbox (www.thegrieftoolbox.com) on November 21,2012. I received a strong nudge to repost this article about my father on this site on Father’s Day weekend. My dad was only a part of my life for five years, but he has taught me more in death than he ever did in life. His gift to me to me and my mother was letting go, so that we could live a fulfilled life without him. I believe that my father was aware of his limitations, and that his decision to leave was the ultimate act of […]

My Deathbed Scene: More Life Lessons After The Death of a Child

My Reasons for Journaling Are Different Now I am a firm believer in creating and maintaining a written journal after loss or other life altering transitions. Journaling is a way to put uncensored thoughts and feelings on paper. Journaling also helps us to assess the amount of progress we have made, no matter how large or small. We can empower ourselves to keep the contents of our journal private or share them with whomever we feel most comfortable. There are no specific rules that govern this process, only those rules that make the most sense to us given our current […]

Against The Winds of Grief: My Thoughts on The Oklahoma Tragedy

Nature and all that it encompasses can bear many blessings. A glorious sunset, a gentle rain and a cool breeze can soothe us even in the most tumultuous of times and perhaps even provide valuable teachings that promote clarity on our life’s journey. Nature can also be an relentless and destructive force as evidenced by Hurricane Katrina, Hurricane Sandy, the Joplin, Missouri tornado, and most recently the tornado that ravaged Moore ,Oklahoma. In addition to the widespread destruction of homes, 24 individuals, including 8 children, died and another 273 were injured, leaving a community and nation grieving and again searching […]

It’s The Simple Things That Matter The Most In Our Grief Journeys

Cemetery Discomfort I have always been uncomfortable in cemeteries ever since I can remember. My discomfort surrounding cemetery visits magnified one hundred fold after my daughter Jeannine’s death in March of 2003. Watching my daughter’s coffin being lowered into the ground during her gravesite service was symbolic of the end of her life, as I knew it, and the end of mine as I knew it. I have gone to the cemetery on a handful of occasions with my wife Cheri, only long enough to ensure that the flowers she planted were intact and that Jeannine’s sacred place filled with […]

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