Deborah Tornillo

Deborah Tornillo was born and raised in Corpus Christi, Texas by her loving and nurturing parents. She attended the University of San Miguel de Allende, Mexico, where she studied Art. After marrying, raising two daughters and enjoying life with her family, Deborah joined a higher calling by committing to be the primary caregiver for her parents, both of whom were diagnosed with Alzheimer’s in February 2006. In her new collection of memoirs, 36 Days Apart: A memoir of a daughter, her parents and the Beast named – Alzheimer’s: A story of Life, Love and Death, Deborah chronicles the time spent taking care of her mother and father. 36 Days Apart recounts this painful, enlightening journey, and Tornillo writes candidly about the struggles and fears she faced as her parents’ caregiver. As their disease progressed, Tornillo was faced with the difficult task of learning how to be a parent to her own parents. Through the year and a half of caring for them she extensively researched Alzheimer’s in order to provide the best care possible, all the while knowing that the disease would eventually win in the end. 36 Days Apart gives an honest, unflinching look at the realities of caring for and losing loved ones to Alzheimer’s. Tornillo gives the reader an inside look into the day-to-day life she faced during her heartbreaking, difficult time.

Articles:

Poem: Reflections of my Soul

Reflections of my Soul Words in my heart Reflections of my soul Some are weak Then, many are bold. Grief is an emotion, a word That rapes the soul Leaving me lost And, out of control. Reflecting on God’s love And, my faith in him Mirrors my life With peace and joy. With my Lord’s help In the words I reflect Will bring me serenity And, my happiness. Deborah Ann Tornillo Author, “36 Days Apart” Copyright© 2009 http://www.authorsden.com/dtornillo

Poem: For All I Am

For All I Am They raised me with love And, never left my side Although I left them I’m still their child. They taught me life Love and compassion They taught me how to Find and live my passion. Every day that I live I’m an example of their pride There are days that I have failed But, more important I’ve tried. Mom and Dad have gone home To our Lord’s promise land Although their not here for me to see They will always be here holding me. Mom and Dad, thank you For all I am. Deborah Ann Tornillo […]

The Importance of Journaling

Writing has always been very therapeutic for me. I enjoy writing and especially enjoy writing poems. Writing allows me to express my fears, my sadness, my anger and yes, my happiness. Shortly, after my brother’s death I went in to a deep depression. I was blessed to have received therapy and apply what I had learned in ways that now benefit me. One of the best tools I learned was how to journal. Writing helps me express my feelings on paper and then later go back and read what I have written. When I feel angry – I will act […]

Poem: Daddy, I Miss You…

I see your eyes staring back at me as I look in the mirror each and every day. Daddy, I miss you. I hear your words of wisdom telling me keep smiling and always think positive. Daddy, I miss you. I feel your heart touching mine as I express my love to God and family. Daddy, I miss you. I feel your strength within my shoulders as I promise your son-in-law there will be a tomorrow. Daddy, I miss you. I feel your hands guiding mine as I express these words, my feelings, the best I can. Daddy, I miss […]

Books and Prayers

When I was taking care of my parents, whom were both diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, I prayed daily for God’s guidance. Through prayer I knew that no matter how bad or how difficult things became God would carry me through it. I read many books on the subject of Alzheimer’s. I read many books on the subject of Caregiving and I read many books on the subject of Dying. I was convinced I was an expert on the subject matter of Alzheimer’s, Caregiving and Dying and no matter what obstacle I confronted I would be able to overcome it. The reality […]

Take Care of Yourself

As I reflect back on the past when I was taking care of my parents, whom were both diagnosed at the same time with Alzheimer’s, I often found that it was very easy due to the stress of caring for them to neglect my own needs. I encourage every caregiver to take time for yourself, to maintain your own health and to avoid becoming over-stressed and vulnerable to other problems. By taking care of yourself, you are also making sure that you will be able to continue caring for your loved one. Here are a few basic ways you can […]

Poem: Mom and Dad

Mom and Dad You taught me as your daughter The meaning of life, To stop and look all around me, To reach for the stars and Appreciate everything that life has to offer. You taught me as your daughter The meaning of love, To have compassion for others and myself, Listen, learn and understand Everyday is a gift of life. You taught me as your daughter The meaning of death, To brave its storm and understand That life is a full circle. You taught me as your daughter The meaning of life, love and death And, not fear them, but […]

Grief Journey Includes Parents’ Deaths, Husband’s Illness

I look back now and ask myself how I got through a year and a half of taking care of my mother and father, who were both diagnosed with Alzheimer’s at the same time. I will never minimize the courage and strength it took to parent my own parents. I will never minimize the courage and strength it took to be by their bedside holding their hand and watching them die, only 36 days apart of each other. Saying goodbye to my father simply taught me how to lose one parent. It did not prepare me for the loss of […]

Husband’s Cancer Reminds Wife of Previous Losses

Today, I find myself crying at the drop of a hat. The tears are back, and they remind me of the tears I cried in my parents’ backyard when I realized my mom and dad were no longer there for me. They were no longer the mom and dad I knew. They were no longer the mom and dad who gave me advice. I lost my parents to Alzheimer’s, one of the cruelest of diseases. Today, those tears keep flowing and although I try my best to control them, they flow like a river. That’s because my husband, as I once […]