Paul Coleman

Dr. Paul Coleman is a psychologist in private practice for over thirty years and the author of a dozen books including his most recent “Finding Peace When Your Heart Is in Pieces” (ADAMS MEDIA, 2014). He has appeared on national television shows such as “OPRAH” and “TODAY” and has appeared on dozens of national radio shows including NPR and WABC. Dr. Coleman specializes in the treatment of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder as well helping people through grief and other life transitions. For fun, Paul enjoys acting and has appeared in over forty community theater stage productions. He recently appeared as a grief counselor in the HBO series “I Know This Much Is True” starring Mark Ruffalo. He has written several stage plays—as yet unpublished—but has had readings of his plays performed in New York City and Austin, Texas. Paul and his wife have three children and four grandchildren.

Articles:

‘Surrendering in Hope’: Allowing Grief to Unfold

‘Surrendering in Hope’ There is a difference between giving up in despair —“I can’t do this anymore!”— and surrendering in hope —“I can’t do this anymore by myself.” Surrendering in hope is not giving up, it is looking up. It’s a willingness to ask for help. It is allowing what you cannot control to unfold in its own way and time. It is the recognition that the unseen world can support you in the seen world. When you are unwilling to tolerate unexpected events or ambiguity, you are not free. You are imprisoned by the need to know and the […]

Transcend Grief

Higher Realms of Awareness Is it possible to transcend grief? All of your stressful emotions exist at the lower-self level of limited awareness: shame, despair, anger, hate, jealousy, guilt, anxiety, and fear. At the higher realms of self, we experience the deep and enduring emotional states of compassion, love, joy, forgiveness, gratitude, and peace. At a higher realm of awareness, you can still dearly love some who has died because true love endures. Transcend Grief True love transcends the physical. It transcends the ego. It transcends grief. True love even transcends time and space. Intellectually, you understand that the concept […]

Make Peace with Loss

What is a peaceful heart? To make peace with loss you must cultivate peace in your heart. This is a challenge when your heart is broken. But it is achievable. We are meant to make peace with loss. A peaceful heart: 1. Seeks simplicity, where life is not driven by either deprivation or accumulation. 2. Lets go of anxieties and false beliefs that we cling to as life preservers but that are actually fear preservers. 3. Knows that the things let go will cost little, that peace is incompatible with a need to cling. 4. Looks within itself, without judgment. […]

Finding Peace of Heart

We often make the mistake of attributing our lack of peace of heart to conditions out of our control—a world in turmoil, a relationship that has ended, or a hope thwarted. But peace of heart is an inside job. It happens within regardless of what is happening without. The heroic heart cultivates gratitude even in the midst of suffering. It finds glory in the inglorious, beauty in the less than beautiful. It accepts life’s ups and downs, heartaches, disappointments, and inevitable losses. Inner peace is not just “feeling better,” but a deep sense of lasting contentment. It is a sweet […]

You May Be Wandering, But You May Not Be Lost

In the aftermath of some great loss, we tend to move through our days as a wanderer in an unfamiliar place. Everything looks the same and yet–somehow it feels so different. How do we move on? When will life start to feel any semblance of normality? We go through the motions, placing one foot in front of the other, knowing we must trudge forward but–to where? To what life? In this phase, our close friends yearn for us to somehow re-boot our system and take life on with renewed purpose. And that seems unimaginable to us But it is precisely […]

The Music of Life

In the happiest of times, life rings out like a soaring piece of orchestral music, a symphony for my soul. The violins are lovely; the trumpets glorious; the flutes and piccolos giddy with excitement. The notes from the cellos glide gracefully, elegantly, a swan on a lake. Poom-pooming, the bass drums pound out a rhythm, a march toward some yet-to-be-heard breathtaking finale. And in the middle of this song I say “This, this is life!” And then, in life, there is sudden loss; as if the conductor abruptly and harshly gestures for a new score while the previous score is […]

The Relationship Continues, the Context has Changed

I spoke to Bridget, who nearly one year after her dad’s passing at the age of sixty-four was missing him terribly. She always had a close connection to her dad and was one of his caretakers while he was quite ill the year before he passed away. She believes in an afterlife and believes that her dad might well be “around me some of the time” — but she believed her relationship with him come to an end because he was not physically there. “Actually,” she said, “I believe we can still have some sort of relationship but it is […]

Asking the ‘Why’ Question

Our logical, analytical mind demands answers to tough questions. Chief among them is often “Why did this tragedy have to happen?” When our pain is great and our loss profound, we go to our mind hoping to find comfort in answers that are not forthcoming. We might be able to answer a question in practical terms, such as, “He died because of a car accident,” but we don’t have an answer to the more cosmic “Why?” Will we ever get an answer? Do we need answers? Our mind does need answers–at least it always wants to seek them out. But […]

Do You See the Mystery?

The first time I saw the ocean, I was fifteen. I walked up a slight hill. The water was not yet in view, but the sky already seemed different, as if it knew what I was about to behold. No buildings, no trees obscured my view. I reached the top of the hill and there was the ocean — magnificent in its vastness, in its power. I was thunderstruck. To this day, the sight of the ocean astounds me and fills me with wonder. Perhaps, if I was fortunate enough to have a house on the beach I’d get so […]

How to Feel a Greater Connection to Loved Ones in Spirit

When someone we dearly love passes on, we miss their physical presence. Even when we truly believe they are in a better place and that we will see them again one day, we miss seeing them, holding them, and hearing their voice. This need for a physical connection is so strong, many of us would gladly make a huge sacrifice for just one more brief moment of contact. I’ve reached a stage in life where I’ve had to say goodbye to loved ones who passed on. In my case, both parents, a sister, a nephew, a niece, and countless uncles […]

Open to Hope is an online community offering inspirational stories of loss, hope and recovery. We believe hope is the bridge between loss and recovery.