Debra Reagan

Debra Reagan lives in East Tennessee with her husband of 33 years. They have one surviving son. Debra is the co-founder of Listening Hearts, http://listening-hearts.memory-of.com/About.aspx a non-profit corporation designed to help bereaved mothers. After some turbulent and confusing experiences, her youngest son, Clint, received the dual diagnosis of bipolar disorder and a drug addiction. Their lives changed forever when Clint died on August 6, 2005, at the age of 20 of an accidental overdose and bronchial pneumonia. Debra can be reached through the website she maintains for her son at www.clint-reagan.memory-of.com. Debra was a guest on the radio show “Healing the Grieving Heart” talking about “Getting Through Mother’s Day.” To hear Debra being interviewed on this show by Dr. Gloria and Dr. Heidi Horsley, click on the following link: www.voiceamericapd.com/health/010157/horsley051007.mp3

Articles:

The Heart Remembers

In Loving Memory of My Son, Clint, 1885-2005 The heart remembers even when we aren’t actively thinking about our child. It was 51/2 years since our son had died of a drug overdose. The thoughts weren’t in front of my face all the time, and the weight wasn’t so heavy on my shoulders. I was finding the energy to re-invest into my new normal. We were planning a trip to the Grand Canyon. It would be a trip of a lifetime. We were visiting with family and hiking the canyon. My mind had been filled with preparations for the trip. […]

Poem: 30 Years of Marriage and Loss

Young love Hopes and dreams First born son Joy New home Second son Joy Pets: hamsters, fish, cats, dogs, ducks, rabbit Death of grandparents Sports: practices, uniforms and games Birthday parties Friends Zoo Family vacations Videos games, computers and new electronics Death of parents Malls and shopping Graduations and Jobs Struggles Shock: the death of precious youngest son PAIN Deep Anguish Anger and regrets Weeping One day at a time New daughter-in-law Re-investment New normal and a new hope Love Debra Reagan 2011

Nature Helps Calm Mother Who Misses Son

It was the 4th anniversary of our son’s death, and I was having a difficult time. My husband was working out of town, and this meant for the first time we would be apart on this date. I turned to the woods, a place I find myself often when I seek peace. As I started the trail, I noticed a tree that was bent and twisted. Despite the fact that the base of the trunk was nothing but a shell, the tree continued to live and strive to reach the sun. I felt a kinship with that tree. At times, […]

The Burden Basket

Recently, my adventurous younger sister embarked on a trip of the lifetime to hike Mt. Everest. A part of my heart went with her as she carried with her an angel token engraved with my deceased son’s name. She placed his token at a prayer wall on the mountain. My heart was also touched by the spirit of the people who helped carry her supplies on her journey. I listened in awe as she described the conditions these young men endured as they worked to provide for their families. Some carried far more than their own weight up the mountain in […]

Crossroads in Grief: To Hide or Persevere

To most folks, Aug. 6, 2005, was an ordinary day, but for me it became the worst day in my life. I woke up that morning expecting to celebrate my birthday; instead, I learned of my youngest son’s death. Despite the fact that I had many loving family members and friends, I found myself feeling isolated and numb. It took so much of my energy just to make it through each day that I had nothing left for anything else. I drifted through my days in a fog of pain over Clint’s death. There were moments that I was sure I […]

Does Grief End? Sense of Smell Leads the Way for One Mom

By Debra Reagan — There is a smell that is part of my memory of Clint. Since the blessing of this smell doesn’t happen often, I cherish each moment. Recently, I encountered the precious smell several times over the span of a day and a half. I enjoyed the bitter sweetness of it and went about my day with a smile in my heart. The next day the following took place. I had a glass hummingbird ornament that Clint had given me when he was 16 years old hanging on the bathroom mirror. I enjoyed looking at it each morning […]

He Was More Than the Way He Died

By Debra Reagan — “My son died of a drug overdose.” This is one of the most difficult sentences I have ever spoken in my life. Every time I opened my mouth to speak these words, my throat felt as though it was closing. I wanted to be truthful about his death in the hope that someone else could benefit from this tragedy. I also felt I owed it to family members to be honest with myself and with others. Oh, but the pain was so deep and heavy. There were times I privately wished the cause of death had […]

Another Year, Another Piece of the Grief Journey

By Debra Reagan — I was sitting at my desk and glanced at the new calendar hanging on the wall. Suddenly, I was hit with the overwhelming thought of another. My heart ached over the thought of another birthday for my deceased child, another anniversary date, and all the other holidays that would come around another time. Many questions came to mind. Had I not gone through the depths of grief? Had I not walked through the Valley of the Shadows? Was this not enough? How could I be expected to do more?? It struck me the New Year was […]

The ‘Memories’ Christmas Tree

By Debra Reagan —

Gratitude Journal Brings Grieving Mother Relief

By Debra Reagan — There came a point in my grief over the death of my son Clint when I became so tired of being tired. I began to search for something that would offer a bit of relief. I purchased a small notebook and began keeping a daily gratitude journal. Every day, I tried to find something to write in my journal. Most days, at first, I was just grateful that I had made it through another day. As time went on, I began to find small things of which I was truly grateful. I began to see that […]

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