John French

My name is John French. I was born in January of 1968. I own and operate a small remodeling company in Highland, MI. My wife Michelle and I married very young and we celebrated our 20th anniversary in May of 2009. We had two amazing children: Veronica, who is 20, and Brandon, who was 17. We worked very hard to build a life that would afford us the luxury of giving them all the things we never had, including a stable home, committed loving parents and every material thing imaginable (within the means of a middle class family, I should add). Over the last few years, it seemed we had finally arrived, and living was easy. Then Brandon passed away in August of 2009 from an undiagnosed heart condition. The devastation of that one single moment has crushed our view of reality and cast us down into a state of perpetual winter. I’ve been writing all my life, though not publically. Brandon’s death has so overwhelmed me that I can no longer contain my thoughts. Although my stance is undermined by despair, and frosted by the bitterness that follows the loss of my son, I will labor to plant some seeds of promise in the barren future that I'm so unexpectedly tilling. Perhaps something beneficial will stem from my mourning. If you can gather even a grain of hope from my reaping, it may help to sustain you through your own emotional storm.

Articles:

Winter Without Son is Lusterless

When your child dies, the holidays quickly lose their luster. The entire spectrum of lights is muted to a dull gray, while the endless barrage of seasonal music only brings […]

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Five Years After Son’s Death, Dad Wonders if ‘the Blue Skies are Coming’

  As the weather finally begins to catch up with the seasons, I find myself looking back. Beyond the still blue waters and flowered meadows. Back to the time when […]

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‘Splendor to Offset the Gloom’ – Even After Childloss

I miss my son, beyond imagining. Compounded by the memories that continue to amass. Additionally, the past has become a Menagerie. Expounded by moments that have already passed. As Time […]

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In Barrens of Grief, Hope Still Blooms

Losing a child is like falling into a fathomless pit, a deep well of sorrow that leaves an enormous void in the center of life. One moment, you are on […]

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Poem: Music In Mourning

~~Music in Mourning~~ Oh how misery sings to me, in wailing moans of agony. With shrieks and groans as overtones, within a dismal symphony. And woe; it rings from somber […]

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Taking the Plunge to Honor Son

It has been a well over a year now since my life suddenly plunged into despair. Losing my son was devastating on every level, and life continues to spiral out […]

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Despite Pain of Child-Loss, ‘Surrender is Beneath Me’

I am hastened into facing another day. Woken by the onslaught of my mourning. It is a struggle to keep the sorrow at bay, as it strikes me without warning. […]

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Despite Spring Thaw, Bereaved Dad Feels the Cold

The wheel of time can spin sunshine into a frozen shroud, making the heart cold and weary and the eyes reluctant to look upon the day. As the spring begins […]

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Child-Loss: When the Heavens Go Dark

Out beyond the silence of eternal night, within the void of voiceless echoes, between the folds of dark and light. In somber streams of starlight. In the waves of ebb […]

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Taking a Rest on the Journey through Grief

Grief is an incredibly difficult venture, a monumental climb from the pit of despair. It is an absolutely exhausting venture that drains you physically and weighs heavy on your mind. […]

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