Joni Norby

Joni M. Norby retired from California State University, Fullerton where she served as Associate Dean and Lecturer for Business Communications. She earned her MBA from Sam Houston State University, Huntsville, Texas and has studied creative nonfiction and poetry as part of Stanford University's Online Writing Series and at The Loft Literary Center, Minneapolis, Minnesota. Along with writing, Joni owns and operates a vineyard in California's Central Valley along with her husband, Dave.

Articles:

When a Child Dies of Drug Addiction

A Child Dies of Drug Addiction Ben was an addict. That declaration is enormously painful and takes even more courage to write than Ben died at age nineteen. He was an honor student, football captain, neighborhood skateboard star, altar server, little league all-star, and lead singer in a punk rock band; he was handsome, popular, kind, and gentle. He was my first born, my only boy…he was an addict and heroin killed him. When Ben was in the throes of his disease, I would jolt awake, stare at the blank ceiling, feeling my blood turn to ice. With my hands […]

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How I Survived my First Mother’s Day as a Grieving Parent

Our 19-year-old son Ben was buried May 2, 2008 – eight days before Mother’s Day. Even though I was still in shock, I knew enough to stay away from church that Sunday. Our minister had always made a big deal out of the holiday, and every mother left the service with a rose. My husband Dave and our daughter Katie were also in shock so we three zombies wandered around a quiet house that first holiday after Ben’s death. We stayed away from everything and everyone – and that was just the right thing to do, for us. An important […]

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Make a New Year’s Resolution to Lean into Grief

I wasn’t prepared for 2009, the first new year after our son Ben’s death in 2008. How could we make new memories without our boy? This revelation hit hard around 11:59 pm on New Year’s Eve 2008 as the Times Square ball drop started and the countdown began. Time needed to stand still – everything needed to stop. Of course the ball did drop with “2009” flashing everywhere as people sang, and hugged, and kissed, to the background roar and beauty of exploding fireworks. I curled into the fetal position with my head buried in sofa cushions, closing my mind […]

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Open to  hope

Can Gratitude be Part of the Grieving Process?

Gratitude does not come naturally to most of us when we’re dealing with intense grief and especially after the immediate loss of a child. I had to actively find my way back to gratitude following these two steps: Acknowledge God plays a role in my life – if I let Him. Invite Him into my life by asking for His comfort and grace through prayer. After the sudden death of our son, Ben, all I could muster for prayer were two words: “Help me!!” Even though it was short, direct, and demanding, my prayer was heartfelt, and over time I […]

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Open to  hope

Warning Signs

I run my fingers across raised lettering printed on the business card as I whisper the case number written on the back. This number will trace me to Ben’s body at the Orange County Medical Examiner’s Office. This card is the only tangible evidence I have that our nightmare is real. Memories of last night come back to me in bits and pieces, but I don’t recall getting the card. The social worker must have left it on the table near our front door. It’s hard to remember anything after hearing, “I’m sorry; your son has died.” But I remember […]

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Open to  hope

Avoid the Grief Pitfall of Isolation

Once a loved one dies, the desire to isolate can be overwhelming. Spending time alone to rest, meditate, and remember is restorative, but grief experts tell us shunning others ultimately won’t bring peace. It’s important to find people who can help us work through the grieving process. Sometimes these people can be family members and friends, but sometimes we need to engage with groups or professionals who can truly understand our pain and help us recover. Here are a few resource groups my husband Dave and I used to find the peace we so desperately needed. 1. Al-Anon Family Groups […]

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