Kim Shute
Kim has experienced bereavement first hand after her husband of 19 years died suddenly of Leukemia at the age of 48. Kim has been a stay at home mother for seventeen years and homeschooled her only son for most of that time. She has a B.A. in theatre/dance and a M.F.A. in Performance Arts. Kim has done course work in Individual and Group Crisis Intervention with first responders, clinician and clergy for Hurricane Sandy and 9/11. She has done bookkeeping for local contractors, taught ESL for a literacy program, run her own gardening business, taught speech communications and acting. She also helped managed and promote a twenty million dollar housing project in Massachusetts. She has been heavily involved for ten years at Channing Church where she researched, wrote and offered many services as well as helped with marketing and community outreach. Since her husband’s death she has been reading and studying up on the funeral industry and grief support. She has always loved writing and is thrilled with the opportunity to share her stories to help others feel understood and less alone in this crazy club, no one ever wants to join. She lives in Newport, Rhode Island with her teenage son and retired mother.
Articles:
The Stuff of Death
When my grandmother died, no one had touched the belongings in her attic or most of her house in at least 11 years. Her attic was the kind you access from a set of pull down rungs at the top of steep stairs surrounded by creepy ancient wallpaper that looked indicative of Versailles. The pull down ladder stairs creaked threatening to give way under any amount of weight more significant than 91 pounds, my grandmother’s weight. She had a three bedroom house with an old barn up on the hill behind the house. It smelled of old New England town, […]
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How to Treat a Grieving Person: Be Real
I am now two years out from the unexpected and traumatic death of my husband, which means countless people have lifted me up and cared for me when I could not do it myself. In and among those wonderful helpful friends and family, there have been some responses to my grief and mourning that were not just unhelpful, but hurtful. Given recent national conversations around grief, I feel the need to say something about what words people said to me that were most supportive, and highlight some responses that did not work for me. The socially accepted, “sorry for your loss,” […]
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Fingerprints: Losing a Husband, Living with Grief
When he used to take off his socks next to our bed and throw them ceremoniously to the cork floor, he would spread the fingers of his chubby peasant hands on the wall of our bedroom to keep his balance before rocketing into bed beside me. It took at least three years to have a finished wall in that bedroom. Seeing his greasy fingerprints all over my carefully chosen hue of green with a matte finish made me grouchy. Now, I recline with four pillows surrounding me as I look at his fingerprints, which are almost all that is left of […]
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