Lori Grande

Lori Grande’s first career in addictions and HIV/AIDS social work has been followed by a career in elementary school teaching. She currently teaches Kindergarten in a private school in South Florida. When a true-crime reality show’s (The First 48) filming of her brother’s homicide investigation (2005) resulted in a botched case and all charges dropped against the suspect, she was catapulted into the center of the investigation; balancing the roles of mother and teacher with advocate and detective. An emotional breakdown thirteen years into the investigation led her on a path to transform the experience of living with an unsolved homicide. Eighteen years after her brother’s murder, Lori continues to advocate within the criminal justice system for justice and offer workshops on living with unsolved homicide at the Parents of Murdered Children (POMC) Annual Conference. She holds a BA in Communications from Boston University and a MA in Transforming Spirituality from Seattle University. She began journaling a year after her brother’s murder. In 2022, she created the website: stillibreathe.com, to spread awareness about homicide survivors’ experiences. The website provides a window into a crime victim’s engagement with the criminal justice system, alongside validation, encouragement, resources and hope. Finding inspiration in nature, she spends her spare time paddle-boarding, swimming in the ocean and visiting State Parks. Lori prides herself on exemplifying how an independent woman can thrive, in spite of loss, while living with joy, purpose and passion.

Articles:

Re-imagining Hope After Trauma

Re-imagining Hope The silent voice of trauma lies idle in the body. Years of dormancy may be followed by its unexpected impact, often on the precipice of healing. As I fought for justice in my brother’s unsolved homicide, I knew I was losing my life. Over nineteen years, that awareness never became clearer to me than the moment I learned I had breast cancer. My fight for justice, which ushered in the decline of my health, also initiated a creative approach to rise above the unresolved and touch the edge of hope. Engaging with Stress Stress can be a positive […]

Writing Through the Pain of an Unsolved Homicide

Writing Through the Pain of an Unsolved Homicide Sometimes a sprout can push through a crack in a sidewalk. Likewise, openings for self-empowerment and healing can grow while living with the cement-like pain of an unsolved homicide. By diving into our inward landscape and releasing that which grips internally, our relationship with and response to external experiences may be transformed. Writing creates a path to allow what lies beneath the surface to be harnessed in meaningful and productive ways. Why Write? Verbalizing feelings comes with risks; to reveal means to expose and make vulnerable. Writing connects the brain to the […]

Unsolved Homicides May Destabilize Survivors

Unsolved Homicides Destabilize Many Lives Homicide is a complicated loss, and its reflection resides in a constant state of metamorphosis with each new experience that follows in its wake. In order to even scratch the surface of resolution of such a loss, we are propelled to find something in the horrific event to transform, to make anew within ourselves. My brother’s unsolved homicide created a process of on-going destabilization for many years. Over time, that destabilization turned into an awareness of what is survivable and what can be transformed, even without a resolution. I found my greatest power in self-definition […]

Finding a Path Through Unresolved Grief

The First Moments of Grief After landing at Miami International Airport on the evening of June 8th, 2005, I hopped in a friend’s car and said, “Take me to William.” Arriving at my brother’s home guarded by the City of Miami Police and covered in crime scene tape, I ran to the officer, begging, “Please, I’m his sister, I have to go to him.” The police officer shook his head no. Touching the front gate, my fingers slid down the tape as I collapsed in my friend’s arms. After a while, regaining strength to hold myself upright, I said, “Take […]

Grief of Unsolved Homicides

Grief of Unsolved Homicides Unsolved homicide leaves co-victims within the same body, but of a different mind; feeling defeated and bound to the criminal justice system which usurps the instinctual drive for justice. The path toward resolution in the midst of these circumstances may be supported by reconstructing that which was taken at the time of the homicide – the meaning of our loved one’s life and our own, outside of the defining point of the murder. By embracing this meaning, we reclaim power and transform defeat into hope. Turning the tables on defeat, and feelings of powerlessness, occurs by […]

Nurturing Oneself After a Homicide

Developing practices of nurturing oneself after a homicide can ignite internal equilibrium in response to external chaos. These strategies may not change the circumstances of life. They can, however, foster the experience of stability in the midst of what ails the mind and heart, sprouting hope within the soul. Embrace Your Loving Self Homicide initiates survivors’ compartmentalization of their lives; instantly bombarded with both the feelings of and responsibility for being a griever, an advocate, a seeker of truth/answers, an instinctual retributor, and a support person to one or another family member. In the midst of the rapid unraveling of […]