Louise Lagerman

Louise is a mother to three: two sons, Eric and James, and her daughter Keren, who died in 2006 at the age of 23. Louise has worked in health care for many years in the geriatric field. She lives with her husband Steven outside of Houston, Texas. A year ago, she created and opened up Grief Support website and message board with friend and fellow bereaved mother Gladis Alcorta. Grief support now has over 500 members who share and depend on each other for support. Her favorite quote is by Jason Reeves, In my own way I take you everywhere I go and it feels like Home.

Articles:

Keep Child’s Memory Alive Through Words and Celebrations

Keep Child’s Memory Alive Four years ago, I lost my beautiful 23-year-old daughter, Keren. Therefore, I know firsthand how painful it is to lose a child. At first, I really didn’t think I would survive, and almost didn’t. I knew I needed help and reached out through the internet to find other grieving parents, who would understand my pain and grief. I needed to know that I was not alone. At that time, I couldn’t bring myself to attend a grief group, or even leave my house. I felt that I could barely stand up because I was so weighed […]

Loss of a Child: A Pain Like No Other

A Pain Like No Other All loss is hard. All loss is lonely. But there is something about child-loss that puts it in a unique category. I have experienced other types of loss. When my very much loved father died in 2001, I was devastated. My father was a wonderful, kind man, a devoted husband and father. I grieved for him. I will forever miss having him in my life. I will treasure my wonderful memories of him forever. Then, in 2006, my 23-year-old daughter suddenly died. In a single phone call, my life as I knew it came to […]

Signs and Dreams from our Children

Signs and Dreams from our Children Dreams and signs of our children. Do they really exist? Are dreams and signs a technique our deceased children use to contact us to let us know they are fine and indeed do live on? I believe with my whole heart they do. I am very fortunate and blessed. Because of my Grief Support website, I am privileged to hear about numerous dreams and signs deceased children have shown their parents and grandparents. Although they vary in context, they all have the same theme of our deceased children communicating to us that they still […]

The Light Switch

I was thinking today about grief and child-loss, and it occurred to me that losing a child can happen as fast as turning off a light switch. Here we are going on with our daily lives living day by day. Some are happy days, some are not so happy days, but all the time thinking our lives will always be this way. Then, as quickly as turning off a light switch, our lives are forever changed. That is how fast our lives changed when we lost our child. We were thrust into darkness, not knowing where we were going. We […]

Running From Pain Doesn’t Work

I tried to run away from you. I did. I thought that if I ran fast, I would be able to escape the pain I feel over losing you. It worked for a little while. Maybe a month or two. But how can you run away from this kind of love, from this kind of longing? I realize now that it doesn’t work to run away from you and deny that you were and still are such a huge part of my life. It only causes more pain. So I need to embrace my loss and, yes, even embrace the pain. Doing […]

The Day I Contemplated Suicide

Many bereaved parents think of ending their life after their beloved child dies. The pain cuts so deep, and the longing to be with the child so intense. I am going to share a story with you of what happened to me when I decided to end my life. I know without a doubt it was my daughter breaking through the realm of her dimension to save her mom. It was my daughter’s gift to me. It was four months after Keren died. I was so low, so empty, so depressed, I knew I couldn’t live on this earth without […]

Parents Who Lose Children Become Survivors

I have had a lot of parents, new on this grief journey, ask me if the feelings of intense anger they feel over their child’s death is normal. My answer is yes, a resounding yes. It is perfectly normal and expected for one to have intense feelings of anger, bitterness, and a feeling that life is just not fair. It is also normal and natural, to feel singled out, like you are being picked on or punished because you lost your child or grandchild. After our shock wears off, we go through a denial and isolation stage. This really isn’t […]

Poem: These Golden Moments in Time

These Golden moments in Time Are caught between the stars and the sky You will have yours and I will have mine These Golden moments in Time Are like delicate flowers clinging on the vine Once the rain comes, they will be hard to find These Golden Moments in Time Are like the tender snowflakes gently drifting to the ground Just to perfect to live or to stay around These Golden Moments in Time Savor each moment because they are fleeting For that you can be sure So innocent and magical they will leave you wanting more Each smile, each […]

Cypress Tree is Evergreen Memorial to Daughter

I was in the garden yesterday planting flowers around your tree like I do every year. I plant marigolds, your father’s favorite flower. He loves the strong yellow color and how they feel light and bright like you. When he planted the tree four years ago, it was so tiny — not much more than a twig. As I gaze upon your tree today I see a strong, tall, beautiful trunk, firmly planted, reaching for the sky. A beautiful cypress tree — that is what we wanted for you when your father planted your tree on that sunny but sad […]

Poem: The Silver Tears

The Silver Tears And so it begins Silver tears falling like soft rain Cascading downward on its sad journey Arriving at my empty soul and shattered heart The silver tears come because we are apart I try to see the beauty in things I yearn to be near the warm sun I listen for laughter and splendor but the silver tears just bide their time for they know that behind every smile every warm embrace The reality of you being gone will let the silver tears escape and so it begins — by Louise Lagerman

Open to Hope is an online community offering inspirational stories of loss, hope and recovery. We believe hope is the bridge between loss and recovery.