Mary Jane Hurley Brant

Mary Jane Hurley Brant, M.S.,CGP, is a practicing psychotherapist for 37 years who specializes in grief. She is author of the book, When Every Day Matters: A Mother’s Memoir of Love, Loss and Life. In this first person narrative M.J. addresses the suicide of her father when she was 13 and the life and death of her daughter, Katie, of a brain tumor. She is the founder of Mothers Finding Meaning Again. MJ can be reached through her website www.MaryJaneHurleyBrant.com

Articles:

The Bereaved Deserve to Follow Their Dreams

It was 1992. Four years had lapsed since my daughter Katie’s diagnosis of a brain tumor. She was now healthy and back working in New York City. Because my maternal stress levels were greatly relaxed, my professional dreams began to reemerge. It was time to think about making them come true. Both my dreams and my interests had become undeniably centered on the concepts developed by psychiatrist Carl Gustav Jung because I realized, in hindsight, I had been living an archetypal experience during the trauma of Katie’s illness. I realized also that while I was not the first mother to […]

What it Means to Grieve a Loss

When you open yourself up to love, you open yourself up to loss. When you suffer a loss, you will experience the painful emotion we call grief. It’s a natural response to loss, yet to the person going through this emotion, the experience feels overwhelming. I would like to help you understand that going through it means it is a process, not an event and, depending on the personal connection you have to person who has died, it is very individual. And yet, the grieving process itself is universal: we feel sad when we experience loss. Because we will all […]

The Bereaved Are on a Hero’s Journey

Some say we don’t have anymore heroes, but I say we do. Let’s take a look at what a hero is and decide if you are one. A hero travels the hero’s journey. That’s when regular people such as you or me are asked to leave our routine life because something serious has occurred, and we are asked to do something about it. We are “called to help.” We are called to save our king, our country, our friend, or ourself. And because the task is arduous, we really don’t want to accept it. Medieval stories call the journey a […]

My Daughter Was My Hero

My daughter, Katie Brant, was my hero. She was given an overwhelming challenge which she met valiantly, fearlessly and always with a greater good in mind. I witnessed Katie’s bravery early on when she marched down the hallway of Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia toward the gurney for her first brain surgery. She was only 18 years old. As Katie waved goodbye, she told us not to worry because “God wasn’t done with her yet.” Katie was self-possessed, a character strength she consistently exhibited during the many years of daunting treatments, especially after she heard more bad news about her cancer. […]

Four Seasons of Marriage

By Mary Jane Hurley Brant, M.S., CGP — This month, let’s talk about the four seasons of marriage: Spring, Summer, Autumn and Winter. Usually we think of marriage as a relationship with our partner but it can also be the state of marriage solely within us called “the inner marriage.” The inner marriage is an intimate relationship with ourself. We need a strong inner marriage of love, appreciation, understanding and respect for ourself in order to experience the serenity, joy, and connection attainable in an outer marriage. The Spring of Marriage is when matrimony begins. We are often young and […]

Holiday Healing: Rest, Compassion, Prayer

The holidays have arrived. Normally they are a time for family fun and celebration but when you are grieving the loss of someone who has died, the season is different: it is painful. Grieving is a long process. It takes time to heal from the loss of a loved one. When we are grieving, we can feel completely overwhelmed with sadness, overwhelmed with missing the beloved person who has gone. We long for them. We think we will not survive. So we ask ourselves, “How can I make it through these days?” Here are some thoughts that have helped me. […]

Hope For Heavy Hearts During Holidays

The holidays are here. Normally, they are a time for family fun and celebration but when someone you loved has died, the season may be painful and lonely. When grieving ,we can feel completely overwhelmed with sadness. We miss the loved person and we long for them. “How can I make it through these days?” we ask. “How will I survive?” Here are some ways that have helped me to survive my many losses, particularly the death of my daughter, Katie. Maybe they can help you, too. Your Body ~ Rest; you have experienced monumental loss. You are exhausted. Go to bed […]

October is the Time of Change

In my younger days, I thought I could control change. I learned, and not quickly I would add, that no one can control or stop change anymore than one can hold back the tides or halt the autumn leaves transforming from green to gold. This brings me to today’s topic of change and how to understand it and accept its daily invitation. First, change is inevitable. Think of those individuals you know who, despite painful adversity, have been able to go on even after their world changed and fell down around them. These individuals accept – sometimes hourly – the […]

Hello March, Goodbye Fear

By Mary Jane Hurley Brant, M.S., CGP — Fear is big these days and, like wildfire, it spreads easily and quickly. Fear is a primal emotion; it triggers our reptilian (more primitive) brain to fight or flee. When the reptilian brain is engaged, it overrides rationality. Therefore, whatever our fear is about – our safety, our economy, our relationships, our health, or our future – fear can paralyze us without warning. Undoubtedly, sometimes our fear is a response to real and immediate danger. More frequently, however, fear’s stronghold is about our unexamined thinking as, “Oh Lord, it will always be […]

February Calls Us to the Love Side of Life

By Mary Jane Hurley Brant — The month of February focuses our attention on love. Cards are bought, candy is given, kisses abound. So what is it about love? We simply cannot get enough of it. “I love you” and “I’m in love with you.” Is there a difference? Yes. “I’m in love with you” has more infatuation and projection attached, and “I love you” has more of day-to-day companionship attached. Each has its mystery. Mystery, by definition, cannot be completely understood. I like the word mystery because it elevates a subject. Anthropologist, Dr. Helen Fisher, writes that mystery is […]

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