Mie Elmhirst
I was widowed in 2000 when I was 47 and Mike was 52. Our daughter was 7 years-old, and his daughter, my step-daughter, was 25. Now they are a beautiful 15 and 33. Mike had breast cancer for the whole of our 10-year marriage, and very suddenly, 2 weeks before Christmas, he lost the battle. I am a life coach. I began coaching in the corporate realm, as an executive coach 7 years ago. The money was great, but I hated wearing pantyhose and pumps and I got tired of dry cleaning suits and I was so bored on the train to NYC that I actually got reprimanded for talking in the quiet car. Over the loud speaker!!! Truly. At the age of 49, I got in trouble for talking. It reminded me of 3rd grade when I had to stand out in the corridor. Humiliating. We all know that we attract what we put our attention on, and I was no different. As I explored widowhood, the good, the bad, and the ugly (and there WAS some good), I began to attract widows as clients. The rest is history. I quit pantyhose, pumps, suits and the train, and I now work with intelligent, creative, brave women who are eager to explore “What’s next?”, and eager to break down the barriers of what is keeping them stuck as they sort out widowhood. I am a life coach for widows. Widowhood has been quite a ride. It has included some of the very worst moments of my life, and surprisingly, some of the best. The process of self-discovery has led me down roads that I would not have dared explore when I was married and leaning on my husband. He was the brave one in our marriage. Now, I am now the brave one. Of course, my story is not unique. There are many like me, ordinary women in less than ordinary circumstances, all becoming extraordinary, you and I.
Articles:
Husband’s Death Surprises Wife with its Power
I expected to have this “grieving thing” wrapped up within a year. The way I saw it, I was 47 and probably had less years ahead of me than behind. I was willing to grieve (like I had a choice…), but I was counting on a sort of a statute of limitations, a timeline of grief that had a very distinct end point, after which I would feel free and wonderful and excited about my future. I knew women who were still grieving two, three, and four years after their husband died. To be honest, I saw them as rather […]
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A Widow Asks: What Does He Think of Me Now?
By Mie Elmhirst I had a lovely holiday this year. Nothing really big happened. My daughter Anneke and I baked bread, we told each other silly stories about what presents the other was getting, we made soup, went to a movie, hugged a lot and we celebrated our family. Our very small family. We were enough. I had enormous gratitude as I remembered where we were eight and nine years ago, when we were trying to keep our heads above water as we watched our husband/father die, and then as we struggled to learn how to live without him. But […]
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