Michelle Jarvie

Michelle Jarvie is an author, educator, and mentor from Minneapolis, Minnesota. She began her career in mediation and business analysis after obtaining a master’s in public policy. Within two years of graduation, she married and lost her husband, James, to a motor vehicle crash. While searching for hope and coping mechanisms, Michelle quit her job, learned how to remodel a house, and sought trauma and grief counseling. Sixteen months after her loss, she started volunteering to read with two fifth grade girls who desperately needed a dependable, caring adult in their lives. As a result of this opportunity, Michelle decided to pursue a teaching license in English education. Since graduation in 2011, she has been teaching creative writing, writers’ workshop, and global literature courses at the high school level. She also regularly speaks to large and small groups of teenagers about grief, depression, and moving forward (not “moving on”). She loves to bring in Star Trek stories and quotes about grief to supplement her own. Michelle remarried in June 2013 and, with her new husband Sean, is expecting her first child in February 2015. They love to travel leisurely, stop for great food, and philosophize about changing the world.

Articles:

Then and Now: The Roller Coaster of Being ‘Thankful’

THEN (2008) “Michelle? Are you there?” It was a good question. As the basket passes with blank cards – a tradition in our family for Thanksgiving – my arm seizes, refusing to lift itself and accept the basket. I know what is coming, and so the logical and emotional sides of my brain slip on their boxing gloves. I’m expected to write what I’m thankful for, throw the card back in the basket, and hear it read at the dinner table. I understand the importance of carrying on this tradition; I do, even though my beloved husband died just three […]

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10 Artistic Activities to Help With Grief

The catacombs of my thoughts, as I grieved the loss of my husband, were painful and all-encompassing…if I didn’t distract myself. A comment, picture, motorcycle, or even a happy memory could throw me into a spiral that consumed my world for hours. One day, I got a package in the mail from my friend Jessica. Inside, I pulled out three envelopes, each one thicker than the last. I was quite puzzled as I found the first one held half a dozen colorful squares of construction paper. Each was a different size, but approximately a three-inch square. The next envelope held […]

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Kaleidoscope: Rearranging the Pieces After Loss

It’s been 80 months since I became a widow, 21 months since I said vows for the second time, and two months since my first child was born. Sometimes I need to pinch myself. As I tenderly rock my little girl in my arms, I can’t help but remember the reason I got this rocking chair six years ago: as a coping mechanism for post-traumatic stress disorder. I was supposed to rock 20 minutes a day, or whenever I felt myself triggered and unable to block out the horrifying images of James’ death: rear-ended and dragged off his motorcycle. The […]

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‘Moving On’ vs. ‘Moving Forward’: The Preposition Matters

Have you ever told someone, with the best of intentions, “You’ve got to look at all the positives and try to move on”? Sure you have. I have, too. But not since I lost my husband and realized the toxicity that lives within both of those phrases. As Dr. Michael Lerner asserts in “The Difference Between Healing and Curing,” telling people who are hurting to focus on the right/positive things in life is extremely unhelpful. He writes: “It is much healthier, much more healing, to allow yourself to feel whatever is coming up in you, and allow yourself to work […]

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