Michele Neff Hernandez

Michele Neff Hernandez is the founder and executive director of the Soaring Spirits Loss Foundation. SSLF is a non-profit organization committed to providing resources and support to people grieving the loss of a loved one. In addition to her work with the foundation, Michele inspires people as a motivational speaker and freelance writer. Through speaking to service groups, faith communities, Universities and hosting community seminars she has shared her thoughts on loss and hope with a variety of audiences. She is the creator of the Widow Match program. Since the death of her husband in 2005, she has made reaching out to other widows her personal mission. Ms. Hernandez’s various projects have been featured in the Ventura County Star, the Simi Valley Acorn, and the Riverside County Record. She is a contributing author to several websites and is chronicling the interviews she has done with widows across the country in a book called, The Healing Power of the Widow’s Bond. Currently, she is planning a national widowhood conference scheduled for the summer of 2009. Ms. Hernandez is a resident of Simi Valley, California where she lives and laughs with her three amazing children. An avid runner and outdoor enthusiast, she actively encourages others to embrace the life we are given.

Articles:

How Should You Help a Grieving Widow?

By Michele Neff Hernandez — Grief is a thief; it steals the breath of life and leaves devastation in its wake. What happens when grief robs a woman of not only her husband, but also her ability to cope with the world around her? How do friends and family members know when that widow is in a dangerous place?? The answers to these questions can only be discovered if we are willing to plant our own feet next to a widow, and walk a portion of the journey by her side. A young woman lost her husband in a car […]

Mother’s Power Limited in the Face of Death

By Michele Neff Hernandez — Motherhood brings out the lioness in me. No task is too small or sacrifice too great to ensure the well being of my three children. In my mind’s eye, I can see myself jumping in front of an on-coming train to save their lives; feeding them first from my last ration of bread; offering myself as a meal for the hungry bear that is chasing them. In every one of these imaginings I manage to save the day. In the normal course of life, moms feed, bathe, clothe, soothe, encourage, celebrate, hold, hug, and protect […]

Young Widow Overcomes Her Death Wish

By Michele Neff Hernandez — It is an odd and frightening sensation to wish you were dead. After my husband died, I fervently wished I could die, too. The first time I read that grieving people sometimes fantasize about death, I was relieved. My entire life I had appreciated the gift of life; to suddenly and frequently wish it away was a disconcerting and lonely experience. When my husband, Phil, was hit by a car, the initial shock provided a buffer to the complicated emotions that would gather to haunt me in the days and months to come. As the […]

Wearing Husband’s Clothes Keeps His Memory Close

By Michele Neff Hernandez For the first few weeks after Phil’s death, anything that had touched his body was sacred. His shoes were sitting where he last left them, his lunchbox remained on top of the refrigerator, and his toothbrush was standing next to mine in the holder. One day, I found an eyelash of his and pressed it into a plastic rosary holder for safekeeping. Three days before he died, he was working in our attic and left dirty fingerprints on the top of the door in our bedroom. I was annoyed when I saw the black marks on […]

Husband’s Soul Lives on in His Shoes

by Michele Neff Hernandez — My husband had a shoe fetish. Phillip owned shoes for all occasions and athletic events-some were kept only for their sentimental value. To him, each pair either served a purpose or told a story, so there was no getting rid of them. This caused a serious storage issue. In addition to his side of the closet, he claimed the entire space under our bed. According to my husband, shoes could not be stacked, which meant the entire perimeter of the bed was lined with shoes. My shoes were piled in the closet in order to […]

Affectionately Remembering a Valentine’s Day ‘Scrooge’

By Michele Neff Hernandez — My husband used to call Valentine’s Day “So What Day.’” Romantic, huh? He thought that greeting cards were a waste of trees, that buying flowers because someone told you to defeated the purpose, and that going to dinner on the big day just to eat from a limited menu and have servers anxiously awaiting your departure from the table was ridiculous. I will admit that we fought about this on a few occasions. Who wants to be the only girl in the office who didn’t get flowers? Eventually, we settled into our own brand of […]

From Sad to Silly: Christmas Memories Salve Widow’s Pain

By Michele Neff Hernandez — There is a song on the radio at this time of year, sung by the Carpenters, called “Merry Christmas, Darling.” The first Christmas after my husband Phil died, hearing this song sent me into fits of tears. Not the sweet, sad, nostalgic type of tears-these were the hitting my hands on the dashboard or kicking my bed, angry, unreasonable type of tears. Every time the song came on, I wanted to scream at the beautiful voice on the radio because the sentiment was so infuriating. The lyrics proclaim that every day is a holiday with […]

Open to Hope is an online community offering inspirational stories of loss, hope and recovery. We believe hope is the bridge between loss and recovery.