Monica Novak

Monica Novak became a bereaved mother in 1995 with the stillbirth of her daughter Miranda, learning firsthand the devastation of saying goodbye to a much-loved, much-wanted baby before having the chance to say hello. Three weeks later, she began a journey towards healing when she attended her first Share support group meeting. Along the way, she and six other bereaved mothers formed a close bond that carried them through the grief of miscarriage, stillbirth, and infant death, as well as the challenges of subsequent pregnancy and infertility. Having been at the opposite ends of grief and joy; despair and hope; indifference and compassion; fear and peace-sometimes simultaneously-she has captured these emotions and the story of her journey in a highly-praised new memoir titled The Good Grief Club. Monica writes and speaks on the subject of pregnancy loss and infant death and is involved with local and national organizations that provide support to families and caregivers. She is a member of the Pregnancy Loss and Infant Death Alliance (PLIDA). Her mission is to bring comfort and hope to bereaved parents worldwide and to educate and promote awareness to the physicians, nurses, clergy, counselors, family, and friends of every mother or father who has or ever will be told that their baby has no heartbeat or that nothing more can be done. The mother of three daughters, Monica lives in the Chicago area with her husband, children, and a rat terrier named Sami. For more information, please visit www.thegoodgriefclub.com or e-mail Monica at monica@thegoodgriefclub.com Monica appeared on the radio show “Healing the Grieving Heart” discussing ”Miscarriage and Infant Loss.” To hear Monica being interviewed on this show by Dr. Gloria & Dr. Heidi Horsley, go to the following link: https://www.voiceamerica.com/episode/34073/miscarriage-and-infant-loss

Articles:

Growing Together

By Chuck and Cathi Lammert – Over the many years of working with bereaved parents, my husband, Chuck and I have had many questions asked of us about coping and growing together as a couple after the loss of one’s baby(ies). Interestingly, when we were running support groups, many women in the group would line up to ask Chuck more questions about their partner’s issues than their own dealings with the loss. It is common in relationships to have a need to understand and attempt to fix the other person. One of the biggest worries after the death of a […]

Baby Hoax Stemmed From Real-Life Grief and Loss

By Monica Novak — As I walked into the house on a Friday morning, my husband, Al, handed me the front page of the Chicago Tribune. “I think you should read this,” he said. The headline story read, “Blogger’s baby a hoax.” An unmarried Chicago suburban woman named Beccah, also known as “April’s mom”, had been blogging for two months about her pregnancy with a terminally ill baby, gaining support from thousands of people nationwide who encouraged her to continue the pregnancy. By the time Beccah claimed to have given birth at home to a girl named April Rose who […]

A Stillborn Baby and the Fathers in Her Life

By Monica Novak – When I was a child, I prided myself on making the best homemade cards to show my parents how important they were to me. Father’s Day was probably the Big Kahuna of card-making for me because in the eyes of this little girl, Daddy was king. He was the one whose side I sat by for all those workbench projects, eagerly waiting to hand over a tool. And he was the one whose shoulder I cried on during the disappointments and heartbreaks of life. Somehow, Dad was always able to make it feel better and bring […]

Kim McLean and Paula Prime: Finding Peace and Light After Loss

From Healing the Grieving Heart radio, May 14, 2009 Listen to radio show archive: MP3 Link First Guest: Kim McLean is a mainstream artist whose music is used often for comfort and hope of the bereaved. Although that was not her initial intention, people have sought her out because of the healing quality of her songs and vocal presentation filled with inspiring music. Second Guest: Pamela Prime is a mother, grandmother, spiritual director and author of When the Moon is Dark We Can See the Stars. She has survived the loss of two children, including an infant daughter to SIDS, […]

Welcome to My New Column and First Posting

Dear Friends, Welcome to the first post of my new weekly column, A Mother’s Thoughts. I’ll be sharing stories from my own experience, stories told to me by others, and any topics I come across that are relevant to pregnancy loss and infant death. I welcome your comments, questions, and your own personal experiences, for it is in sharing that we find healing and meaning in our own lives. Blessings, Monica Choosing to Live By Monica Novak Three weeks after our daughter Miranda was stillborn, shattering my Marsha-Brady-like-existence, my husband Al and I attended a Share pregnancy and infant loss […]

GRIEF SUPPORT 101: How to Help a Bereaved Friend or Loved One

By Fran Dorf – Thirty years after her son’s death, my friend still smarts when she remembers all the people who pointed out how lucky she was to have two other children. Another friend, whose brother recently died, grumbles that everyone keeps telling her it will get better with time. Another, whom I originally met in a grief support group, for years avoided anyone who hadn’t also lost a child. Having received my share of insensitive, even hurtful, comments after I lost my son, Michael, thirteen years ago, I certainly understand. Why do people so often say and do the […]

Death of a Child: ‘Unfinished Motherhood’

By Clara Hinton – When child-loss occurs, a mother goes through a difficult time of emotional turmoil and questioning. “Am I still a mother?” “Does my child still have a birthday each year, or does time stand still?” “Can the mother/child relationship continue to grow, or am I now an ‘unfinished mother’?” Losing a child often places a mother on a road that begins a lonelier journey than ever expected-one that can never really be explained. There was a beginning, but with the death of the child, there is no middle and no end. Everything seems so unfinished. Hopes and […]

Mother’s Day Flowers

By Beth Seyda – It was back in 1998 that I was finally eligible to celebrate my first Mother’s Day. Our first child, Dylan, had been born in the fall of 1997 after many years of fertility issues. But when that May holiday came around, one that I had longed to be a part of, it was a bitter-sweet day. Yes, I was a mother, but now without a child. Our sweet baby lived for only two weeks in the neonatal intensive care unit and died peacefully in our arms. I struggled that first Mother’s Day – I wanted to […]

Little People with Big Hurts

By Cathi Lammert, RN – Most children who have a sibling that dies due to a pregnancy loss, stillbirth or in the first few months of life will experience a grief reaction. However, often times, their grief is overlooked or discounted. Parents may be so overwhelmed by their own grief that they are unable to assist their children with their issues. Parents often ask me “Will my child be negatively affected by the death of their baby sibling?” I have to say the answer to this question is, “Usually not, if the child’s grief is acknowledged.” In this article, I […]

Loss of Infant Twin Inspires Mother to Share Story

By Beth Larson – In 2001 I gave birth to my twin daughters Madelyne and Shirley. They were only 26 weeks gestation, and I had been in the hospital on bed rest because the water around Shirley broke everyday starting at 19 weeks. I was in the hospital for 7 weeks, laying there praying and watching my other two children, Alexander and Emmalynn, ages 3 and 5, come to visit me. I was terrified, my husband was anxious and the children were scared because Mommy was not at home. When I went into labor I knew that I had 50/50 […]

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