Nan Zastrow

“I always wanted to write,” said Nan Zastrow. “But I never dreamed it would be about death, grief, and mourning. Today I write to heal my pain and teach others that even after a life-changing event, there can be a reason and a purpose to go on living.” On April 16, 1993, Chad Zastrow, the son of Nan and Gary, died as the result of suicide. Ten weeks later, Chad’s fiancée took her life. This double tragedy inspired the Zastrows to create a ministry of hope. They formed a non-profit organization called ©Roots and Wings more commonly called Wings. From 1993—2003, they published the Wings™ magazine, a publication about real situations and real people going through grief that was mailed throughout the United States and Canada. In 2003, their non-profit changed its focus to primarily grief education and support. They publish a free, quarterly newsletter by email to subscribers. Nan and Gary, together, have been keynote speakers at National Bereaved Parents and workshop presenters at various other events. They have been grief group facilitators since 1993, and host workshops and seminars. Each year they host an original theme-based community “When the Holidays Hurt” program for area funeral homes. Nan is the author of four books and over sixty Editor’s Journal Articles in Wings, Grief Digest, and other publications. Their non-profit organization is the recipient of the 2000 Flame of Freedom Award for community volunteerism. Nan was also nominated for the Women of Vision Award in 2001; the Athena Award in 2005, and The HOPE of Wisconsin, hospice volunteer of the year in 2008. Nan and Gary are hospice volunteers and survivors of six sudden deaths of significant people in their lives.

Articles:

Valentine’s Day Rituals to Awaken Memories

Valentine’s Day Rituals to Awaken Memories Ponder the Vows you made to each other. Every “love” adventure steps into the great unknown . Your vows challenge you to work through life together. Celebrate the adversity you overcame as you weathered the storms of life. Be grateful for the milestones you accomplished together. As a Valentine’s Day ritual, acknowledge your journey—the trials and the triumphs! Make a List of your Happiest Times Together. Review it every time sadness overwhelms you and threatens you into despair. Use the list to ignite the flame of love and connection. It’s a promise that heals […]

Valentine’s Day Memories

Valentine’s Day Memories “Random memories tell the stories of our lives…the difficult and joyous times that reveal who we are now, how far we’ve traveled, and who we’ve become because of our experiences.” Valentine’s Day dawned, and I awoke keenly aware that my first year without my husband was predestined to be an emotional one. It occurred just one month after his unexpected death. I wouldn’t be creating any new memories. Gary’s absence filled the house, and the relenting ache of early grief was overwhelming. I craved having just one more time. One more memory. Hearing his laughter and feeling […]

Faith is Like Insurance When a Loved One Dies

Faith is Like Insurance The summer of 2011 will be remembered as a season of violent storms and will be marked by many lives that were turned upside down by the havoc of mother nature. Tornados ravaged Alabama. Hurricane Irene washed the east coast and 11 states with flooding and chaos. Winds and driving rain ravaged the country creating destruction; and flood waters broke records from half-century ago. People were trapped in their homes. Rescue crews worked to dig through the rubble for survivors or bodies of those not so fortunate. The devastation was so widespread that it took days […]

Valuable Lessons about Holiday Grief

Valuable Lessons about Holiday Grief “The joy we feel has little to do with the circumstances of our lives and everything to do with the focus of our lives.” (Russell M. Nelson) Holidays were always a Big Deal in our family until the death of my son. They began with family and friends gathering for Halloween costume parties and ended only when the calendar flipped to a new year. The only thing that could make them better was if the next year could be better than the last! When my son died in 1993, we made a lot of changes […]

Pain is Inevitable; Suffering is Optional

“Does time heal all wounds?” If you are a griever, you have no doubt heard this cliché more than once. On April 16, 1993, our son, Chad, died as a result of suicide. Family and friends know that it doesn’t pay to ask, “Do you ever get over it?” Our response will always be the same. “A parent never forgets the loss of a child.” The loss will always be fresh in our minds, but in an instant, we can experience a flashback to the exact moment we received the news. It’s a moment frozen in time. Grief hurts. We […]

Victory Over the Pole: Learning to Let Go

An intimidating 30-foot pole occupied a notable spot on the challenge-learning course. The facilitator explained that we were to climb the pole. The pole was manufactured with heavy metal staples that created a “ladder”-effect. Once we reached the top of the pole, we were supposed to mount the disk that was attached at the top, stand, turn to face the group—and, then, jump! Why would I climb a pole if I didn’t have to? The truth was—I didn’t want to. But this pole stood in my way—representing a barrier between God and me, between the world and me; and perhaps, […]

In Grief and in Joy, Tell Your Story

” People are hungry for stories. It’s part of our very being. Storytelling is a form of history, of immortality too. It goes from one generation to another.” —Studs Terkel Recently, I attended the funeral of my uncle, though I found myself making excuses for dismissing my obligation to go. When I read his obituary in the newspaper, I didn’t plan to go to the funeral because I hadn’t seen my cousins in about thirty years (they all lived out of town and so did my uncle.) I wouldn’t recognize them, nor would they recognize me! In the end, I decided […]

Bereavement During the Holidays

Holidays are a time of great anxiety during bereavement. But it’s not just the holiday season that puts the griever at risk for emotional turmoil. Any social situation, event, or random interaction can quickly change a peaceful moment into one of confusion. If you are aware of the triggers that cause the spontaneous eruption of emotions, you may be better prepared to meet and beat these unexpected moments. These tips can help you prepare for holiday anxiety, but you can easily apply them to any event. 1. Events—trigger emotions Most social interactions trigger “beware” emotions. Mentally, we begin to conjure […]

Ten Ways to Find Good Fortune in your Holidays

The Christmas tree we dragged from the woods wasn’t perfect, but I didn’t expect the Christmas holiday to be perfect either. The long gangly branches made the tree seem awkwardly out of balance. It was fat at the bottom and too skinny at the top. One of our guests during the holiday commented, “I can’t believe you paid for that tree,” with a teasing snicker. Gramps would have liked the tree with wide spaces between the limbs. He always believed a bird should be able to fly through the tree. He didn’t believe anything should be perfect. Little flaws were […]

Love is Stronger than Death: The Power of Story

I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge – That myth is more potent than history. I believe that dreams are more powerful than facts – That hope always triumps over experience – That laughter is the only cure for grief. And I believe that love is stronger than death. Robert Fulghum One warm summer day, the neighborhood children asked if they could explore the forest behind our house. When they didn’t return in about a half hour, my husband, Gary, got concerned and went to look for them. He located them by the sound […]

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