Nan Zastrow

“I always wanted to write,” said Nan Zastrow. “But I never dreamed it would be about death, grief, and mourning. Today I write to heal my pain and teach others that even after a life-changing event, there can be a reason and a purpose to go on living.” On April 16, 1993, Chad Zastrow, the son of Nan and Gary, died as the result of suicide. Ten weeks later, Chad’s fiancée took her life. This double tragedy inspired the Zastrows to create a ministry of hope. They formed a non-profit organization called ©Roots and Wings more commonly called Wings. From 1993—2003, they published the Wings™ magazine, a publication about real situations and real people going through grief that was mailed throughout the United States and Canada. In 2003, their non-profit changed its focus to primarily grief education and support. They publish a free, quarterly newsletter by email to subscribers. Nan and Gary, together, have been keynote speakers at National Bereaved Parents and workshop presenters at various other events. They have been grief group facilitators since 1993, and host workshops and seminars. Each year they host an original theme-based community “When the Holidays Hurt” program for area funeral homes. Nan is the author of four books and over sixty Editor’s Journal Articles in Wings, Grief Digest, and other publications. Their non-profit organization is the recipient of the 2000 Flame of Freedom Award for community volunteerism. Nan was also nominated for the Women of Vision Award in 2001; the Athena Award in 2005, and The HOPE of Wisconsin, hospice volunteer of the year in 2008. Nan and Gary are hospice volunteers and survivors of six sudden deaths of significant people in their lives.

Articles:

You’ve Got the Power to Heal Your Own Grief

Donna’s spouse died suddenly. It wasn’t suppose to happen, yet, was all that she could think of as she coped to accept the reality of the event. For months, she was incapaciated by her grief…unwilling to let go of the deepest regrets and lingering pain. Donna’s reactions were normal. Many people who grieve deeply believe that grief is passive. They believe grief will just resolve itself over time. Others search aimlessly for a cure. They want to believe there is some magic potion their physician can give them that will cure the pain, forever. Some grievers expect that someone will […]

Paint Your Holiday the Way You Want it to Be (the Norman Rockwell way)

Shirley’s husband of 42 years died suddenly this spring of a heart condition. Brittany’s husband served in the U.S. Army in Iraq for the past 9 months. This was supposed to be their first Christmas together, but he won’t be home. Martha is homebound and lives in an assisted living facility; her family is hundreds of miles away. Stuart’s son died; everyone asks how his wife is doing, but no one asks how he is feeling. Shelley was recently divorced and lives with her mother, again. There is a myth that holiday grief affects only those who have lost a […]

Suicide: Stopping the Silence

Suicide doesn’t just happen to the “crazy” teen down the block, the junkie on drugs or the intoxicated college dude challenging a “dare.” It doesn’t just happen to those who are dealing with depression and the side effects of antidepressants. It doesn’t just happen to teens and young adults challenged by responsibilities, financial woes, parenting nightmares or stress in school or on-the-job. It isn’t just carried out by a soldier overwhelmed by active duty and the atrocities of war. It doesn’t just seek out the deceitful, the poor, the irresponsible, the desolate and the hopeless. Suicide is random. It happens […]

Discovering Something Greater than the Answer to “Why?”

“Why me?” “Why now?” They are questions that many bereaved ask when they come to our support groups. I’m sure many wish that Gary and I could gaze into a crystal ball, and assure them there is a reason to go on living. It is human nature to ask, “Why?” Yet, there is seldom a satisfactory answer. Instead of answers, we often give the bereaved options for finding new meaning. They have embarked on an adventure and a journey far beyond their imagination; and it’s an arduous task that will challenge a lifetime of beliefs and assumptions. It’s a journey […]

Walk Beside Me and Be My Friend

“A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out. Don’t walk in front of me, I may not follow. Don’t walk behind me, I may not lead. Walk beside me and be my friend.” Charles Caleb Colton My life changed gradually after the death of my son, Chad, on April 16, 1993—and so did many of my friends. A while ago, I met a co-worker whose empathy in my early stage of grief was unconditional. I was reminded of his warmth and support; and it still glowed. Then it hit me! What […]

Death of a Child Changes ‘Santa’

The hustle and bustle of the holiday season begins. Shopping carts and arms are brimming with purchases. Early in the season, there is a sense of joy–the miracle part of Christmas when good moods prevail and everyone is wrapped up in the joyous preparation. We become “Santa” as we plan the perfect holiday celebration. We credit Santa with joyous moods, family celebrations, and the perfect gift. I once played the role as Santa, just like them. Today, there is something missing from the Santa scene…my son. Since our first Christmas without Chad, I’ve never been quite as enthusiastic about the […]

One Is Silver, the Other Gold: a New Look at Holiday Traditions

“I believe that we are here for a reason, I believe that as each day unfolds, We see less of the shadow And more of the sun. Less of the tarnish And more of the gold.” A ninety year old man owned a piece of property with a cabin on a small lake in central Wisconsin. He lived in Chicago. He didn’t go to the cabin because his wife died about seven years before, and the five-hour trip seemed more of a burden than a pleasure. But he still wanted to own the cabin because it was rich with golden […]

Son’s Suicide Reorders Family’s Life

Spring forced its way into Wisconsin in an unusual way in April, 1993. It strangely marked the day with headline news: “Blizzard.” It was Easter-time…a time when the sun typically began warming the earth and tulips emerged. Outside my window a cherry tree with long, thin branches swayed in the wind. The branches loaded with spring buds supported dozens of plastic Easter eggs in bright colors suspended from ribbons. The sudden freezing rain and blizzard coated the branches heavily with ice causing them to strain and bend against the frozen weight. This bizarre scene mocked the event that had just […]

Open to Hope is an online community offering inspirational stories of loss, hope and recovery. We believe hope is the bridge between loss and recovery.