Nina Bennett

Nina Bennett has 4 grandchildren, one of whom was unexpectedly born still following a healthy full-term pregnancy. She has worked in reproductive health since 1976, and was a childbirth educator for nearly 10 years. A healthcare professional and frequently requested guest lecturer, Nina presents talks and workshops locally and nationally. She is the Principal Investigator of an IRB-approved research study looking at how grandparents incorporate perinatal loss into their families. Nina is a social activist who gives voice to the often silent grief of grandparents through her writing and speaking. Her articles and poetry have appeared in the anthology Mourning Sickness, The Broadkill Review, Slow Trains Literary Journal, Grief Digest, the News Journal, A.G.A.S.T., Different Kind of Parenting, M.I.S.S.ing Angels, and Living Well Journal, as well as many other publications. Nina is the author of Forgotten Tears A Grandmother’s Journey Through Grief. Proceeds from her book are donated to MISS Foundation, and other agencies supporting families bereaved by the death of a baby. She contributed a chapter to They Were Still Born, a collection of first-person accounts of stillbirth.

Articles:

Robin Williams’ Legacy: Opening a Conversation about Suicide

Robin Williams was brilliant, and his death leaves a void that does not and cannot make sense to anybody but him. Williams talked openly about his addiction issues and struggle with depression. Perhaps part of his legacy will be opening these difficult conversations about taboo topics-mental health and suicide. It would be an honor to him if sincere, honest conversations took place.

She Died: Bereavement Without Euphemisms

I love words; the look of them on a page, the sound of them in my head, the texture of them in my mouth. My love of language was encouraged and nurtured by my parents. My favorite gift, even as a child, has always been a book. I taught myself to read prior to starting school and would correct the adults who tried to hasten bedtime by skipping pages during the story ritual. The English language is vast, with nearly unlimited word choices. And yet, as a society that fears and denies death, “died” has become an unmentionable four-letter word. […]

When a Father Dies on Father’s Day

My father died on Father’s Day 2007. He had been in apparent good health until the night he was admitted to the hospital. That day, he went through his usual routines-swam a mile at the Y, did some errands, sat on the patio with my mother in the late afternoon. By 11 p.m. he was in the ER, in such critical condition that the staff didn’t think he would survive the night. At 6 a.m. the following morning, he was stable enough to transport to the ICU. Each of the next 10 days brought new challenges as his condition worsened […]

Mother’s Terminal Diagnosis Teaching Daughter to ‘Live While Dying’

When my father died unexpectedly and traumatically, my brother and I entertained a philosophical discussion on whether it’s easier for family members if death is sudden or if it is anticipated. At the time, we agreed that while we would wish a swift death for the sake of our parents, we would prefer to have the gift of time, to be able to converse openly about their wishes, and to mine their memory for family history. You may have heard the cliché “be careful what you wish for.” Here I am, 5 years after my father’s death, facing my mother’s. […]

Deceased Grandchild Sends Dragonflies to Grandma

Synchronicity is far more than a rock album. It is the term coined by Carl Jung, a Swiss psychotherapist, to describe the phenomenon in which events are connected in such a meaningful way that their occurrence seems to defy the calculations of probability. Part of my new normal since my granddaughter was born still is that I no longer believe in coincidence. I do, however, fervently embrace the concept of synchronicity. My earliest experience of synchronicity in this particular journey of bereavement, grief and transformation occurred while my daughter-in-law was in labor. It is only in retrospect that I am […]

Bereaved Grandmother Turns the Corner on Grief

My granddaughter was unexpectedly born still in 2003. My daughter-in-law had a healthy, uneventful, full-term pregnancy. There were no indications of any problems during her labor. The medical staff was as stunned as we were when Madeline was delivered without a heartbeat. My background is in behavioral medicine, and I have worked professionally with bereavement issues for several decades, but none of my education or experience prepared me to cope with the death of my granddaughter. I also felt powerless when it came to providing solace to my son and daughter-in-law. As I felt my way like a blind person […]

Families Crave Remembrance After a Loss

The fall and winter holidays can be particularly difficult for bereaved families. Marty Tousley is a psychiatric nurse and certified bereavement counselor. In her article, Getting Through the Holidays, she says, “Holidays can create feelings of dread and anxiety in those who are bereaved. The cliched images of family togetherness and the often unrealistic expectations of a season filled with picture-perfect, joyful gatherings can cause tremendous stress for those who are not grieving, let alone for those in the midst of the painful, isolating experience of loss.” The first, and most important thing is that it is perfectly normal and […]

Meditations on the Word ‘Still’

“But after tempest . . . /There came a day as still as heaven” (Tennyson) Still. An ordinary word, brief, easy to pronounce. When my sons were toddlers, I often told them to hold still while I was brushing their hair, changing their clothes, bundling them into snow suits. I would ask them to please sit still when they squirmed at the dinner table. In restaurants, wait staff offer a choice of sparkling or still water. This simple word took on a never-ending depth of meaning in 2003, when my granddaughter was stillborn. Born, yet still. Silent. Motionless. Dead, yet […]

‘I’ve Never Been a Crier,” But Now….

“There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief…and unspeakable love.” Washington Irving Here they come again. I have no idea what triggered this waterfall. One moment I was driving to work, thinking of my schedule for the day ahead, and the next thing I knew, the tears were rolling down my cheeks. This is part of the new normal that is me since my precious granddaughter was born still more than five years ago. I’ve never been a […]

Mother Learns How to Comfort Bereaved Son

By Nina Bennett — I was used to fixing the problems Timothy, my youngest son, encountered when he was a child. If his older brother knocked down his castle of blocks, I helped him rebuild it. When he fell down learning to walk, I could pick him up. When he tumbled off his bike, I would bandage his scraped knee and send him on his way again. As he made his way through the teenage years, I was there to listen, offer advice if asked, and advocate for him when it was needed. I was faced with many difficult situations […]

Open to Hope is an online community offering inspirational stories of loss, hope and recovery. We believe hope is the bridge between loss and recovery.