Neil Chethik

Neil Chethik is an author, speaker and expert specializing in men's lives and family issues. He is the author of two acclaimed books: VoiceMale: What Husbands Really Think About Their Marriages, Their Wives, Sex, Housework and Commitment (Simon & Schuster 2006), and FatherLoss: How Sons of All Ages Come To Terms With the Deaths of Their Dads (Hyperion 2001). Previously, Neil was a staff reporter for the Tallahassee Democrat and San Jose Mercury News, and writer of VoiceMale, the first syndicated column on men's personal lives. His writings have appeared in hundreds of print and web publications. He is currently Writer-in-Residence at the Carnegie Center for Literacy and Learning in Lexington, Ky., where he lives with his wife, Kelly Flood, and son, Evan. Reach Neil at: Neil@NeilChethik.com 121 Arcadia Park Lexington Ky. 40503 859-361-1659 Neil appeared on the radio show “Healing the Grieving Heart” with Dr. Gloria & Dr. Heidi Horsley to discuss “Men and Loss.” To hear Neil being interviewed on this show, click on the following link: www.voiceamericapd.com/health/010157/horsley121307.mp3

Articles:

Mother’s Day Haikus

Editor’s note: We recently asked our contributing writers to create Haikus related to Mother’s Day. Here are some of the poems. Hard being a mother When your child is far away Hug them in your heart — Neal Raisman An angel you are A bright light among the stars And for you, I weep — Marilyn Burns Forever your mom, Your life, my gift every day. Our bond will not break. — Maria Malin Temporarily Here to learn about loving All impermanence — Marguerite O’Connor Wind carries her son’s voice through wind chimes tinkling in the breeze He’s here, she […]

Malaysian Airlines Aftermath: A Grandmother’s Perspective

As soon as I heard a Malaysian Airlines flight 370 had been shot down, I thought of the survivors. I have some understanding of traumatic death because our daughter, the mother of our twin grandchildren, suddenly died in a car crash. The cause of death was “blunt force trauma,” three words I didn’t want to read or say. Two days later, my father-in-law died. Eight weeks after that, my brother and only sibling died. In the fall, our grandchildren’s father suddenly died in another car crash. The scenario was unbelievable. Grief is hard enough to process, without adding trauma to […]

10 Quotes About Grief

“Grief does not change you, Hazel. It reveals you.” – John Green “I will not say, do not weep, for not all tears are an evil.” – J.R.R. Tolkien “Only people who are capable of loving strongly can also suffer great sorrow, but this same necessity of loving serves to counteract their grief and heals them.” – Leo Tolstoy “No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear.” – C.S. Lewis “Grief can destroy you –or focus you.” – Dean Koontz “Grief can be a burden, but also an anchor. You get used to the weight, how it […]

Study Seeking Parents Who Have Experienced Child-Loss

Are you the parent or legal guardian of a child aged 5 to 18 who died of a life threatening illness (LTI) in the past five years? What is this project? Danya International, Inc. (a health communications firm in Maryland), has developed a program, Communication Counts. Developed with funding from the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development (NICHD), Communication Counts is a support program to help families of children who have passed away from a life threatening illness develop the skills for open and honest communication within the family and with the healthcare team about the illness and […]

Open to Hope Editor’s TV Special Airs June 20

Dear Open to Hope Friends: I wanted to let you know that my first book, FATHERLOSS, has been turned into a PBS special! The half-hour program will premiere this Saturday, June 20, at 8 p.m. in Kentucky only. It will then be marketed to PBS stations around the country to air before Father’s Day 2010. The PBS producer, Dave Shuffett, does an outstanding job capturing the emotions that sons experience following the death of a father. In the show, he tells his own powerful father-loss story. Pulitzer Prize-winning editorial cartoonist Joel Pett also shares his story of father-loss in the […]

How Can Daughter Help Dad After Painful Loss?

Melissa writes in: My brother, Michael, died yesterday of a heroin overdose. He was 40 years old. The grief I feel is a fraction of what my parents are experiencing. I was detatched from my brother for years because I could not be around him because he was often under the influence of drugs. I grieve for his loss of life, but the pain I feel from watching my parents grieve for loss of a child seems equally as painful. He died in my parents’ home, where he had lived for 3 years after the consequences of his addiction took […]

Fatherloss To Be Made Into PBS Special

FatherLoss, a book by Open to Hope Executive Editor Neil Chethik, is being made into a PBS Special for national distribution this Father’s Day. Neil will be the featured expert in the documentary about how men deal with the deaths of their dads. Pulitzer Prize winning cartoonist Joel Pett will also be featured, telling the story of his father’s life and death. The Special is being produced by Kentucky Educational Television (KET), the public TV network in Kentucky. It will be made available to all PBS stations around the country. FatherLoss, which was published by Hyperion Books in 2001, has […]

11-Year-Old Son Lashes Out After Death Of Dad

Question from Margaret: My husband of 16 years passed away a little over 6 months ago. He was not ill, so it was shock to me and our two sons, ages 10 and 11. My husband had a temper, but never, ever laid his hands on me. Now, my 11-year-old is pushing me and hitting me, and I do not know what to do. Can you help? Neil Chethik, author of FatherLoss, responds: I’m very sorry to hear about the death of your husband, and about your son’s personality changes following it. This must be a doubly painful situation for you. I conducted […]

Loss Of First Grandparent A Major Blow

Katherine writes: I lost my grandfather last month, and this was my first loss of a close loved one. I am 28 years old. I can’t seem to stop thinking about my grandfather. Granted, it has only been just about two weeks, but I am afraid this pain is going to last forever. I find my grief is worse at night and during the day I can function somewhat, but when night comes and my children have gone off to bed, I feel myself start to fall apart again. Am I doing something wrong? Neil Chethik, author of FatherLoss, responds: I’m very […]

Bereaved Mother: ‘Why Can’t I Cry?

Sherry writes in: I’m not sure what to say, but feel compelled to write something. My 38-year-old daughter, Colleen, died May 20, 2008. I spoke to her that morning. She was feeling better than she had for two weeks. I was in another state with my younger daughter. She and her husband were to adopt a child and I was helping with the their two small boys. Less than three hours later, my husband called and said Colleen is gone. She died of an asthma attack. She had asthma all of her life and felt she could handle any situation. Her […]

Open to Hope is an online community offering inspirational stories of loss, hope and recovery. We believe hope is the bridge between loss and recovery.