Norman Fried

Norman J. Fried, Ph.D., is director of psycho-social services for the Division of Pediatric Hematology/Oncology at Winthrop University on Long Island, New York. A clinical psychologist with graduate degrees from Emory University, he has also taught in the medical schools of New York University and St. John's University, and has been a fellow in clinical and pediatric psychology at Harvard Medical School. Dr. Fried is a Disaster Mental Health Specialist for The American Red Cross of Greater New York, and he has a private practice in grief and bereavement counseling on Long Island. He is married with three sons and lives in Roslyn, New York.

Articles:

Mother’s Death Means ‘Losing Our World’

As Mother’s Day approaches, we find ourselves thinking about the relationship that started it all, and about our need to honor the woman who helped to make the world a better place. Indeed, perhaps the greatest partnership of all, and one that aids most in the replenishment of a holier, more “Divine” world, is the relationship between woman and God. For woman, who becomes mother (whether she is a biological or a psychological mother), is the progenitor of life, transmitter of covenantal law, and leader of the family. As mother, she lives not only for herself, but for “the multitude” […]

What is the Meaning of Hope?

What is the meaning of hope, and how can it help us through the days and nights of our despair? For many, hope is a quality that imbues us with grace in the face of adversity. It is an internal process that allows us to encounter the world with awe and faith in a more numinous realm, an intrinsic and existential mindset of being. For others, hope is synonymous with “want” or “expectation.” It denotes a passive, “wait and see,” approach to a desired object or outcome. Understood in this way, hope is a state of mind, a wish or […]

What is the Role of Anger in Grief?

What can be said about the meaning of anger; and what role does anger play in our eventual recovery from grief? We know that, as humans, we are capable of experiencing a full range of feelings, and that each of our emotions is inexorably connected to its opposite. We know that an honest life insists upon the wholeness, as well as the integrity, of our emotions, thus an attachment to one feeling at the expense of others can have damaging effects on our growth. We understand that sorrow, pain and intolerance have a place in our lives, and we expect […]

Alleged Killings by U.S. Soldier Remind Us of War’s Psychological Toll

By Dr. Norman Fried — The headlines of many U.S. newspapers this week report that five Americans are dead after a U.S. soldier opened fire at a U.S. base on Camp Liberty in Baghdad, where soldiers were receiving psychological treatment for the stresses of combat or from personal issues. The shooting causes all of us to consider the power of post traumatic stress disorder or PTSD, particularly when it results from wartime stress. PTSD is noted by a persistent impairment in adaptive functioning that is triggered by a traumatic injury or incident. Laurence Miller, in his book, Shocks to the […]

How Do You Honor Deceased Colleague?

Michele writes in: At our company, the executive secretary to the President, who was only in her early 30s, died last year suddenly one afternoon. She had been with the company for 12 years. She was like family to many of her coworkers. Any suggestions as to how to recognize the one-year anniversary of her death in a very low key manner? Dr. Norman Fried responds: Milestone days such as the anniversary of a death often restimulate sad feelings and memories that require compassion and attention. However, some co-workers may be unwilling or unable to honor this loss in a […]

When a Child is Dying, What Do Classmates Need to Know?

By Norman Fried — Children with chronic illnesses are often absent from school due to medical treatments and their attendant side effects. Frequent hospitalizations, chemotherapy, outpatient doctor visits and general malaise and fatigue have all interfered with the child’s ability to maintain proper and consistent attendance in school. In the circumstance of a life-limiting diagnosis, or when the child has entered into a palliative care and end-of-life phase of his disease, questions and concerns from classmates eventually arise. Fears about their friend’s medical condition, his abilities and disabilities develop. A visit to the child’s classroom should be made available by […]

Publicizing End of Life: Has Reality TV Gone Too Far?

By Norman Fried — A?media star who first became famous for her role as a?crude talking, hard drinking? member of the 2002 reality television show “Big Brother,” has announced in The News of the World that she is dying of end stage cervical and liver cancer. Jane Goody, who has made herself a media phenomenon in England through her participation in several reality shows, exercise videos, a perfume label and a published autobiography, told the News of the World, “I have lived my whole adult life in front of the cameras. And maybe I’ll die in front of them.” Media outlets have […]

Friends Keep Pushing to “Get Over” the Loss

From Mary: We lost our most precious son Nov 14, 2006. He was 27, a firefighter, preparing for his wedding, had just bought a house on five acres, was so enjoying his life. He lived with us till a year before. We talked to him every day and saw him almost every day. He was my baby and my pride and joy. I miss him so badly, I cannot function. I am so tired of people telling me to move on! My life is over, my future is over, why can’t they understand this? What can I say to people […]

Reflections on a Suicide on the Internet

By Norman Fried —

A Death on “Black Friday”: What is Our Moral Imperative?

By Norman Fried — On November 28, a Wal-Mart store clerk in Valley Stream, New York, was killed after throngs of Black Friday shoppers broke down the front doors and trampled over him as they rushed in, searching for post-Thanksgiving Day bargains. The Associated Press reports that the impatient crowd knocked the man to the ground as he opened the store at 5 AM, leaving a metal piece of the door frame hanging “like an accordion.” When told by store personnel that an employee had been killed and that everyone must leave, members of the crowd responded with: “We’ve been […]

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