Shannon Harris

As a young bereaved mother, I had conflicting ideas on the grieving process. Alone in a sea of much older and much more experienced bereaved parents, I turned to writing to tell my story. My hope is to offer alternative ideas to traditional forms of expressing grief and to share the love and light that I experience today. I have been writing since I was a child but have earned my living over the last 20 years in customer service, wellness, and management industries. I recently became a Certified Grief Intuitive Coach to help spread the love and share positivity with the world. My goal is to help women and especially bereaved mothers, see their value even after a loss. I reside in Northern California with my two surviving children and my little angel, ever present.

Articles:

Angry At a God I Didn’t Even Know

Angry at God Bereaved parents become experts on all things grief soon after the death of a child. We research. We read articles, talk to doctors and therapists. And we constantly self-assess, trying to figure out which of the five stages of grief we are in and how long before we get to the next one. We find facebook groups with other suffering parents and silently compare pain, wondering to ourselves, “Am I that bad?” or “How can she be doing that well so soon?” We gather information from all kinds of sources, desperately trying to piece together a new […]

How Child-Loss Changes Your Relationships

There is a great divide between the relationships I have with those in my life six years ago and those just getting to know me. The more time that passes since watching my son take his last breath, the greater this divide grows. I was reminded of this today when confronted with some difficult situations that involved people on the newer side of the chasm. When I meet people now, the fact that I lost a child does not come up early on in our conversations. I share that information with select people. If I think my story will inspire […]

Snow Globe of Emotions at Christmas

Reflecting on where I was last Christmas brings up a snow globe of emotions. Sadness, joy, anger, frustration and even relief swirl all around me. A flurry of feelings from my head down through my heart and into my stomach, then back up to my throat and eventually they escape in the form of tears. Holidays should be a time of spirituality, kindness, family and cheer, shouldn’t they? Why, then, do they bring out the most selfish aspects of people? My snow globe was turned upside down last Christmas in my fourth year of grieving the loss of my son. […]

What Prison Inmates Taught Me about Drug Addicts

Normally when I write, I write from the standpoint of someone who has lost a child to cancer. But tonight I am compelled to write from a different perspective for parents who have lost a child to drug addiction. Allow me to explain. Prior to my Anthony’s death, I had always been a work-a-holic, single mom who did anything to make ends meet and provide for my children. His death created a paradigm shift in how I viewed work. I always thought it didn’t matter where I was employed or what the job description was, I would do it. If […]

Shifting: Child-Loss Splits Mom Between Heaven and Earth

For all accounts and purposes I am a strong woman. I have been through some extraordinary situations and lived to tell about them. And the telling has been my mission for the last six months. Sharing my story, educating fellow child-loss survivors about meditation, energy and intuition. I preach about connecting with your child after they have crossed over. I preach about what it looks like and feels like and how it can help you feel your way through the unimaginable loss you’ve experienced. The problem is in the preaching, I forgot the practice. I guess I didn’t forget so […]

How to Fill an Empty Stocking

It is the day after Thanksgiving, or “black Friday” as most of us refer to it these days. I imagine myself in my best holiday shopping outfit complete with new leather boots, a warm peacoat and a bright holiday scarf. I navigate the Vintage Faire Mall parking lot like a champion. With my non-fat, extra hot white chocolate mocha in hand I brave the crowds to meet up with my best girlfriends. We laugh, we wait in long lines and sing along with the cheesy holiday soundtracks playing in the background. But this is not how my day is going. […]

Because My Son is in a Box

Because my son is in a box on my shelf, I no longer give a shit about how I appear to the outside world. I do not care that I am misunderstood. I do not care that I am offensive or seem selfish. For once in my life I have no desire to explain myself. I want what I want out of this dense experience, and I am tired of defending that. I will attempt, here, perhaps in vain, to do so one last time. The only difference between myself and any other woman on this planet is that I […]

Wanted: Soul Sister in Grief

I have secretly been looking for a place to post a want-ad for a partner in grief. In my small hometown, I don’t know anyone who has lost a child. There is a support group about 30 minutes away but despite my efforts to connect with any of these women outside of the group that has not yet happened. It has been four years since I lost my sweet boy. Four years and not one connection. To say I am lonely would be incorrect. I have an amazing husband and a house full of children. I have a handful of […]

Breaking the Rules of Grief

An excerpt from the Introduction of Breaking the Rules of Grief, A Bereaved Mother’s Journey. By Shannon Harris I should begin by warning you that there will be no substantial evidence supporting the ideas in this book. These are all my conflicted thoughts in black and white, perfectly spaced in Times New Roman size 12. Should my ideas mean something more than that to someone, great. If not, that’s okay too. After reading countless books and articles on grief and bereavement for parents who have lost a child, I think I’ve had enough information. Not that I am an expert by […]

God’s Plan in the Grocery Store

With my whole heart I can say that I am not afraid of anything in life now that I’ve watched my son die. Nothing can ever be harder than that moment in time; therefore, I have nothing to fear. Death itself no longer scares me, either, knowing he is waiting for me on the other side. There are, however, a few land mines that I run into every once in a while that catch me off guard. Explosions of anger, frustration or sadness that turn me inside out and make me come unglued. You know what I’m talking about. You’re […]

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