James Sesnak
The book "Soldier On" is a memoir of Barbara K. Wilson (Kath). It is told from a 3rd person point of view. It tells how her previous life experiences before the cancer diagnosis influenced her "being" after the diagnosis. The book is not about me, but about Kath. As a 40 year nurse with decades of critical care experience, I was able to intervene in her medical/nursing care when I found it to be deleterious to her and confront the caregivers but I also recognized good care when it occurred. Unfortunately, I saw her "end of life train" coming down the tracks long before Kath did. That weighed heavy on me. I met my current wife, 4 months after Kath died. My family thought it was "too soon". What they didn't understand was that I was grieving long before Kath died and, as stated in the book, Kath explicitly encouraged me to "not be alone and find another". After her funeral, I took a 4 week "solo pilgrimage" up highway 1, from San Diego to Vancouver Island, to get my head together and returned to Sedona determined to follow Kath's advice. Dating was a whole other story, as I hadn't done that in 30 years. Fortunately, for me right now, my life is so good, it's scary.