Where to Start

    Open to Hope has a vast number of resources to support you in your grief journey. To get you started I have selected five of my favorites: Sibling Loss: Honoring, Not Forgetting In the United States today, there is a natural, assumed order to the deaths we will experience... Continue reading → The Unique Nature of Sibling Loss …day and I talk to him a lot. I’ve created a new relationship with him that continues on after death. Continue reading…

    Guilty! Sister Comforted That Murderer is Confined Forever

    The trial for my sister’s murderer ended yesterday. It was a very intense week to say the least. The state rested about 3:30 pm. The case was turned over to the jury about 4 pm. We waited. I felt confident. I knew the prosecutors had done their very best. Still we waited. Finally, about 4 hours later, we were told the jury had reached a verdict. At that moment, I remember thinking, I hope they get it right. I hope…

    The Three Ds of Dealing with Grief

    It will soon be two years since my dear sister was murdered.  Two years. Sometimes it seems like forever, yet most days, it seems like only yesterday.    Over the last two years, I have worked very hard on myself.  I have learned patience. I have learned to really not sweat the small stuff.  I have learned to let go of things I cannot control.  I have learned to make changes, healthy changes for myself.  It is a process, a…

    Casey Anthony Verdict Stirs Fears in Sister of Murdered Woman

    Like many people this past week, I heard the verdict in the Casey Anthony trial.  I did not follow the trial closely so I really don’t know what evidence was presented.  I do know that I have read much of the evidence was circumstantial.  With my sister’s murder trial postponed for the 7th time recently, I’ve thought a lot about that "not guilty" verdict.  I shudder to think when the trial finally does happen, that those two words be spoken.…

    Sibling Bonds

    You are my brother and always will be Not even death can take that away from me. The love we share is everlasting A bond that can never be broken.   I hate saying I miss you but It´s true.  Every day. The fights, the chats, the small things Mean even more now they´re gone.   I hold onto my memories, never Do I want to forget your life. You are my brother and always will be Not even death…

    Twin who Died in the Womb Became Guardian Angel

    Last fall, I gave my writing students a very powerful exercise taken from the work of Deena Metzger. The basic premise was to choose a traumatic incident from our past—one that changed the course of our lives for the worse—a moment when we felt betrayed or abandoned or alone, a moment when an essential part of ourselves went underground. We began by writing the story of that event. The next week, we rewrote it—this time creating a fictional version of…

    Father’s Day After the Death of a Brother

    “You know that story, Finding Nemo?” my 4-year-old nephew asked.  “That’s a story with a happy ending because he gets to find his daddy.”   It was six days since my brother, my nephew's father, had died and oh, how my heart broke hearing this simple observation. This will be our 5th Father’s Day without my brother.  On the first one, we planted a tree in his memory.  My nephew, then 5, held up the card he’d made for his dad,…

    What To Do With a Loved One’s Possessions?

    What to do with your loved one's possessions? Less than two months after my sister’s murder, her 24-year-old daughter (my niece) called and asked for my help.   My sister owned her home and the insurance company would pay for a total restoration; however, everything had to be removed from the home before the restoration could begin. When my niece was talking to me about this, I realized I was holding my breath.  My sister was murdered in her home and…

    Snow and Sibling-Loss

    Snow fell from the cold winter skies when my beloved sister was buried.  Miniature, delicate snowflakes seemed so out of place in the cemetery filled with grief, tears and darkness.  I stared into the sky, away from the casket, and became completely captivated by the gorgeous snowfall.  I needed something to distract my mind, even if only slightly.  Everyone who surrounded me -- my best friends, my family -- I loved them more than anything.  Watching them all break into…

    Heaven Bound

    Heaven Bound   Year after year On your special day Mother’s Day I brought you flowers Gave you a hug and kiss Reminded you how special you were.   Every one of those years I knew you were grateful For my gifts and my love Yet, a sadness remained In your beautiful blue eyes It remained throughout the years.   I remember that dark day When we were told that Your only son, my only brother Was killed in war…