Six Months After Sister’s Murder, an Arrest and More Questions

    When my sister was murdered in her home in September of 2009, my life changed forever. The questions that flood your mind in these circumstances are unbearable. Not knowing who murdered my sister was all-consuming. Every day, I waited for my phone to ring, to hear the detective's voice telling me an arrest was made. I tried to prepare myself for that day. How would I react? Would I be overjoyed? Would I feel relief? There is no script for…

    Following Sister’s Murder, Questions Abound

    How many of us have watched the news, listened to the terrible details of a homicide and thought to ourselves "that poor family"? I would venture to say most of us have had that thought. I did. I would hear news like that think to myself or say to my husband, "that poor family," and my life continued on. On September 18, 2009, I unfortunately became one of those poor families. My sister was found dead in her home. Her…

    Cancer Catches Up With Military Hero

    As told by Anthony J. Amoroso: Heroes aren't supposed to be ordinary.  Yet that's what my brother was:  an ordinary guy living his life the best he knew. If he was just an ordinary guy, what was it that made him a hero?  He was my big brother. We were a large Italian family in Boston:  Angelo and I had five sisters.  It was rare and wonderful when we finally got our turn in the one bathroom in our house!…

    First Hours After a Sister’s Murder: Big Questions

    Many people have suffered some kind of loss of a loved one through death.  Personally, I've lost both sets of grandparents, my father, two uncles and four aunts, not to mention family friends. But nothing prepared me for the questions -- and complications -- that followed my sister's death. My sister died on September 18, 2009 .  She was found in her home on the bathroom floor. My sister and I shared a wonderful relationship, one of unconditional love and…

    10 Years After Brother’s Suicide, Sister Remembers

    By Cindy My mom runs a website for suicide awareness and prevention, in memory of my brother Keith. I admire her for this. My mom believes that Keith's spirit is communicated through butterflies, dragonflies and jet trail X's in the sky. I love this about my mom. My mom has asked me to write something for her website many times.  She used to ask me once a year to write something, every year around the time of Keith's death. Finally…

    Remembering ‘My Sister and My Best Friend’

    My beloved sister Donna was a gentle, loving, caring soul. She was my trusted confidant, my witness, my cheerleader, and my best friend. She died September 6, 2002, at age 49. Donna was was born three-and-a-half years after me.  She was there for me, I for her. We were giddy and vulnerable with each other.  I remember walking down the street with her, holding her hand, thinking about how lucky I was to have her as my very own sister.…

    Grief and Joy

    When I think of grieving, I think of pain and sadness. I think of my stomach in knots, tears flowing uncontrollably and a broken heart. Joy has no place in grief at first glance. To me, grief is like a precious vase or plate that shatters into pieces. You look at all of your feelings and pieces of love and wonder how you can ever repair it—it feels destroyed. Life isn’t perfect and we will all experience loss and grief.…

    Poem: A Thousand Words

    Your eyes follow me everywhere Never breaking their gaze. When I look into them I’m lost and in a daze. Your eyes always speak to me Sending a loving message From the heavenly kingdom You’re now rejoicing in. Your eyes follow me everywhere Never breaking their gaze. They sparkle with a smile Setting my tear drops ablaze. Your pictures are everywhere Because of my undying love. You’re my mother and father That I wished I could hug. Pictures speak a…

    Without My Twin: Reflections On A Road Traveled

    A new twin joined our twinloss Yahoo group. He has recently lost his twin. I related to his words about how we draw strength from our connection to our twin. The intrinsic nature of twin connectedness was made clearer for me. It is this connection or bond that when severed, brought in the feelings of aloneness like none I have ever known. With facing my grief and learning to reach out in trust to others, this aloneness has changed to…

    The Role of Ritual Following a Major Loss

    Several years ago, I was watching news coverage following the crash of a passenger plane that killed all on board. The plane actually crashed into the ocean so over the next few days, survivor families gathered at the shore nearest to where the plane had gone down to gather information, comfort one another, and engage in memorial rituals. Some family members chartered helicopters to fly over the actual crash site; many survivors participated in impromptu candlelight vigils; literally hundreds joined…