The Impact of Losing an Infant Sibling

    When I was working on my book, I interviewed a couple of people who either lost siblings very early in that sibling’s life, i.e. in infancy (and were thus very young themselves) or who were born after the death of an infant sibling. I didn’t have enough people to make a huge case, but it was very clear to me that these were very significant losses. Sadly, however, because these people had been so young at the time, or were…

    Little People with Big Hurts

    By Cathi Lammert, RN - Most children who have a sibling that dies due to a pregnancy loss, stillbirth or in the first few months of life will experience a grief reaction.  However, often times, their grief is overlooked or discounted. Parents may be so overwhelmed by their own grief that they are unable to assist their children with their issues. Parents often ask me "Will my child be negatively affected by the death of their baby sibling?"  I have…

    Sacred Moments With the Body After the Death

    By Nancy Manahan, Ph.D., and Becky Bohan. M.A. -- In their last Open to Hope posting, "Washing Diane's Body: Caring at the Crossroad," Nancy described the extraordinary ritual of washing Diane's body. In this installment, Nancy's spouse Becky recounts the four-hour home vigil, which gave family members and friends a chance to be with Diane's body, to grieve, and to support each other in a sacred ritual. While Nancy and others were washing Diane's body, I heated up the Indian…

    Surviving Child Demonstrates Meaning of Easter

    By Mitch Carmody -- In December of 1987, our 9-year-old son, Kelly James, died following two arduous years of fighting brain cancer. That ensuing Christmas, we were so numb in our grief that much of it is now a faded memory. But that following Easter, we received a gift, a gift that I share it with you now. When Kelly died, his sister Meagan was 6 years old; our only child now, she was left with two grieving parents who…

    Washing Diane’s Body: Caring at the Crossing

    By Nancy Manahan, Ph.D., and Becky Bohan. M.A. -- In our last Open to Hope posting, the extraordinary final moments of Diane's death in Nancy's arms were described. Here, Nancy recounts what happened immediately after Diane died, most importantly, the washing of Diane's body. This ancient ritual is being reclaimed by many families as an opportunity to honor their loved ones, to grieve, and to perform a final sacred service for them. Diane's closest friends, Bev and Laura, arrived at…

    Film Review: The Secret Life of Bees

    By Linda Pountney -- Multiple loss themes run concurrently throughout the movie The Secret Life Of Bees, based on Sue Monk Kidd's novel, directed by Gina Prince-Bythewood. Dakota Fanning plays Lily, a guarded fourteen-year old, grief-stricken over the death of a mother she hardly remembers. A tortured soul, Lily's father (Paul Bettany) takes his pain out on his daughter. His cruelty contributes to Lily's imaginary world where her mother exists to nurture her. Lily embarks on a journey to uncover…

    Enjoy Life Despite Loss

    By Diana Doyle -- Making a habit of being happy and appreciative of what I have is my hope for the new year. Being fully present every day to enjoy all the wonderful things my life is full of family, friends, good memories, sunny days, loving, laughing and hugs. With those, I'll be able to face any new challenges the next twelve months will bring. Diana Doyle lost her sister, mother and daughter over a three-year period.

    Michelle Linn-Gust: Notice Signs that Loved Ones are Still Here

    By Michelle Linn-Gust -- In the last few years, I have come to realize that my bond to my sister is much stronger than it ever was. I have a strong sense of her being with me, helping me to navigate life, and sharing both the highs and lows that we all experience. We all have this opportunity to feel our loved ones with us if we choose to. They send us signs although we need to be tuned into…

    Military Group Knows a Lot About Healthy Grieving

    By Ami Neiberger-Miller -- Holiday cheer and merrymaking may be everywhere this time of year, but for thousands of Americans grieving the loss of a loved one, the holiday season can be an emotional minefield. And there's no roadmap for easy navigation. For more than a decade, TAPS has helped surviving families of those who have died in military service. Carroll and TAPS offer the following tips to help anyone who is grieving during the holiday season: Take charge of…

    Reminders of a Brother Who Rarely Saw the Sky

    By Elizabeth DeVita-Raeburn -- A few years ago, I ended up at the American Folk Art Museum quite by accident. A friend was visiting from out of town, and we'd intended to go to the newly opened MOMA. But the lines were insane. Next door, at the AFAM, however, there were no lines at all. So we thought, what the heck? It's a great museum. But what very much caught my attention was an exhibit on prison art. To be…