Birthdays … Beautiful and Bittersweet

    I turned 60 in October, the day filled with a range of emotions. Etched in my brain and soul was the last time I saw my sister Jane, to celebrate my 25th birthday. For 35 years, my birthday held a cloud, never the joy of celebrating me on my birthday, always the pain of the loss of my cherished sister and nine years later, the loss of my beloved sister Margie. The tragedies and challenges of my life undeniably altered…

    Active Grieving Can Help After Sibling Loss

    “Every loss is unique. The truth is, the worst loss is the one that is happening to you, the one that has picked you up and thrown you down and left you struggling to put your life back together.” (Devita-Raeburn, 2004, p. 184) When I was 20 years old, I was awakened in the middle of the night to the terrible news that my 17-year-old brother Scott and cousin Matthew, had been killed together in a car accident.  It seemed…

    Coping With Sibling Loss

    Houston, Texas counselor Beryl Kaminsky shares tips for handling sibling loss during the Association for Death Education and Counseling (ADEC) conference. She wrote Mending the Broken Heart: After Your Child Dies, which is also an audiobook. Working through the loss of a sibling can be traumatizing. Growing up in the shadow of sibling loss can put too much pressure on a child, which Kaminsky experienced first-hand as an adolescent. Your parents are grieving, the rest of your family is grieving,…

    Adult Sibling Loss

    Dr. Gloria Horsley interviews Dr. Brenda Marshall from Toronto, Canada. A management executive and executive coach, she’s completing her doctorate degree in adult education at the University of Toronto. Adult sibling loss is one of the most disenfranchised of losses. Suddenly, a few years ago, Marshall’s brother died. That was her “last day of normal.” Her world fell apart at that point. When she looked for support from the community, she found nothing for adult siblings—all sibling loss focus was…

    Sibling Loss Changes a Sister Left Behind

    “Every loss is unique. The truth is, the worst loss is the one that is happening to you, the one that has picked you up and thrown you down and left you struggling to put your life back together.” -- (Devita-Raeburn, 2004, p. 184) When I was 20 years old, I was awakened in the middle of the night to the terrible news that my 17 year old brother Scott and cousin Matthew, had been killed together in a car…

    It’s Never Too Late to Grieve

    How do I make peace and forgiveness with myself for not grieving and mourning my sisters Margie and Jane for 30 years? It is more the regrets, of years lost, of memories forgotten, of a soul missing, of dreams shattered, of a hole in my heart. Was the the pain too hard? I got used to being so alone and having no one to share my grief or my sisters with. I had no one to walk with me on…

    Dr. Kay Fowler: Adult Sibling Loss

    Adult sibling loss is a common disenfranchised loss. Dr. Heidi Horsley interviews Dr. Kay Fowler at an Association for Death Education and Counseling (ADEC) conference. Dr. Fowler is the editor of the ADEC Forum, and she lost three adult sisters in a 15 year period. The deaths of Jenny, Ann, and Mary Grace have largely impacted Dr. Fowler’s life and work.  Mary Grace died of a heart attack at 44, and Dr. Fowler just couldn’t process it. There was no…

    Bridget Park: Teens and Sibling Loss

    The Executive Director of the Open to Hope Foundation, Dr. Heidi Horsley, talks to Bridget Park about losing a brother. Sibling loss is often a disenfranchised one. Park recommends leaning on your family and letting others love you and just be there for you. It’s tempting to push people away because you don’t want them to feel sorry for you. Being there for one another is critical. Parents worry when a teen doesn’t talk after losing their sibling. Parents think…

    Celebration of Sisters: Full Circle After 30 Years

    Celebration of Sisters, an annual ice skating fundraiser to honor and commemorate the lives and memories of my sisters Jane E. Lipson and Marjorie E. Lipson to benefit The John D. Stoeckle Center for Primary Care Innovation at Massachusetts General Hospital. Ice skating is my passion, solace, peace, and where I have come full circle in my grief to remember and pay tribute to my sisters. I lost my beloved sister Jane at age 22 in an automobile accident in…

    Photographs Help Sister Heal After Sibling Losses

    There is an expression originating from a Chinese proverb: “One picture is worth ten thousand words.”  My vote is that one picture or video is worth ten thousand memories. When I lost my beloved sisters, Margie and Jane, I scrambled to find pictures to compose a collage, to place my beloved sisters' images into frames. I feared I might forget them. Now, after 30 years, I went through that exercise again, designating a photo album for each sister and one album…